Setting The Parental Standard

Thank you for being a reader of my blog. I appreciate the time you have invested in doing so. I know that you could have scrolled right on past this post and never think twice. For that, I am sincerely grateful.

thank you

Did that make you feel good inside? ! like to say thank you in style. It helps me build rapport and gain favor.It’s a standard I have grown to use on a daily basis. It sure in handy yesterday with my daughter. While at the local library, this 21 year old man was trying to hit on her. After being told how old she was, he still proceeded and even said that he would wait on her to turn “Of age.” Thank goodness, she wasn’t terribly afraid since she was with a small group of associates at the branch library. The story ends with the man being banned and escorted of the premises via the local police.

This situation made me so appreciative of the relationship I have with the library staff, my children and the community. After my daughter told the staff member what happened, the first thing out her mouth was, “I know your mom doesn’t play that!”

Because of her spirit to serve and me setting the standard, everything worked out for my daughter. The librarian gave my daughter the protection she would give her daughter. It was a clear example of quality service.

Marriott is known for good service. I was trained to provide top rate service from the moment guest stepped within 10 feet from us.  I read In The Spirit To Serve, by Bill Marriott and when I was at the Hilton, we often got quality tested by secret guest shoppers to ensure we were doing our job. The feedback was straight forward, traceable and unanimous.

Guide book for hospitality excellance

Guide book for hospitality excellence.

I got a kick out of seeing my name in weekly mentions of excellence.To me, it not only meant that I was in demand, it also said that I was helping people enjoy their time (as I’m sure the librarian will get a kick out of receiving her gifts today)

I was able to carry those traits over into motherhood. This time, I am writing the guide book and doing the training.blue gift 2  9-2-2014 9-09-15 AM

Setting The Standard.  Standard setting is the methodology used to
define levels of achievement or proficiency and
the cutscores corresponding to those levels. Widely recognized as a model of authority or excellence.

In my community, at any given day,

I ‘m hugging my children, communicating with them. Asking them questions and actually waiting to hear their response. Once a month, I even take them out for one on one time with mommie, even if it’s to the market and back. I make them feel love, wanted and valuable; the pure form of a spirit to serve.

Thank you for hanging in with me.

QC Supermom

 

Friday Four: Keep your hands to yourself John

Edited version: Since the story is so fresh, it makes sense to respect the victims family/loved ones request for space, peace and time to mourn a great loss. 

July 6, 2012 he's sooo much more then the father of my daughter , he's more like my best friend , my comforter , my rod and my other half . regardless of what life throws at us , the bond that we share is unbreakable , i love my boyfriend and without a doubt i know he loves me backkk !!

July 6, 2012
he’s sooo much more then the father of my daughter , he’s more like my best friend , my comforter , my rod and my other half . regardless of what life throws at us , the bond that we share is unbreakable , i love my boyfriend and without a doubt i know he loves me backkk !!

It’s 4:07 am, and I can’t sleep. I have sorrow in my heart for a stranger, a young mom that I have never met.

I picked up a story about a young mom, that was found lifeless in her own home. With further research I learned that it was her own child’s daddy. According to victims Facebook page, she and Scott had been in a relationship and have a 3-year-old daughter together.  – Myrtle Beach Online.

 They say it’s a thin line between love and hate, so my question is: “What drives a person to killing their own child’s mother?” How can someone be that angry, heartless and confused? What didn’t he get when she said goodbye to him and choose herself?  

This mom reminded me of who I could have been. In terms of a teen mom from a small town. The tributes on her page was all across the board. Funny, sweet, angry, confusion, celebration; even from the victim herself. By just reading her timeline, it’s clear to see that she was not only a beautiful scholar, but an excellent mother, sister and friend. I have shared some of the most significant mentions on her time line here. 

One comment read-

Psalm 30:5 “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
 
 “He states that is when he and the victim started to argue. He said that she stated something like ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore’ or ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and that is when everything changed,” the warrant states. “He said whatever she said struck a nerve in him and he lost it. He stated that she pushed him or smushed his face (pushing his face) and he doesn’t know what happen after that. He states that he lost it and blacked out. He said that when he came to he heard his daughter saying ‘daddy’ from the car.” – My Horry News
 
eboni and
 “Victim said:
Thanks honey, we proving everybody who thought we wouldn’t made it wrong !” 
 **************************************

This is sad  don’t know you at all “victim”, but sweetie when I saw your situation all over Facebook, my eyes were full of tears & my heart was so heavy of emotions as a Mother, because I can’t even imagine the pain of what your daughter is going through when she realizes that her closest friend, her provider, the first love of her life HER MOTHER is not here to give anymore. I pray for that child because NO ONE should have to bury their mom especially at such a young age. My heart, soul, emotions & deepest condolences goes out to your precious little one & your family & closest friends. May you rest I’m peace!!!

**********************************************

Victim:

- in the words of my pastor, “church hurt is the worst hurt , that’s why so many people walk away from the church ; the church suppose to be about loving and not judgement !”    
 
A woman told police that her son, John Scott, had called her and told her that he thought he killed his girlfriend.- Carolina Live
ebon
 
 
 Here is my advice for parents when discussing Domestic Violence with their child: 

1. Never make them choose. The last thing you want to do is make your child prove she /he loves her/his mate. Some kids do things just to piss us parents off. If a guy/girl is getting sexed, it’s even harder to pull them apart.

2. Become a detective. Read what your child puts on social media. You can learn a lot by just investigating time in and with your children.

3. Always speak up! Then take action. Be very clear about what happens to both the victim and the abuser. After all it will effect more than them. For example, the morgue, hospital, children, parents, friends, family, employment status, etc.

4. Show your child a healthy relationship, even if you must show them via other family members, friends, and books.

In closing, parents, teach your child(ren) to walk away from anything that does not make them better. It’s not worth it. If YOU are having an domestic issue, leave- get help, Otherwise you are telling your child that it’s ok to stay. There were so many things that went wrong here, way too many to mention in one post. Life is too short for needing to prove that you are loved, needed and amazing, (when you already are.)  Finding that type of love starts from within. I wish each of you peace and understanding on your journey.

Love yourself enough to walk away, and once you are away get some self defense classes and mace.

QC Supermom

 

Here’s “John’s” story:

Wednesday WoW: Disney On Ice Presents Princess and Heroes

Mark You Calendar RIGHT NOW. Disney On Ice Returns to the Queen City (Charlotte, NC) October 1-5th, 2014 and we are so excited because that means contest time!

By now you should know that I don’t do anything without a sizzle! Over the last few years, I have had the honor of having the best participants for my big contest. This year will be no different. But first, here’s more information on Disney On Ice presents Princesses & Heroes. 

 

Enter a world where heroes and hearts prevail. Join Ariel as she explores life above the waves and Prince Eric as he breaks Ursula’s spell to reclaim his true love. See Prince Phillip, in a race against time to rescue Aurora, defeat evil Maleficent.  Discover a whole new world with Jasmine and Aladdin.  And watch in awe as the dreams of Cinderella, Belle, Snow White, Rapunzel and Tiana all come true. High-flying jumps, breathtaking skating, and lovable Disney friends are a wish away at Disney On Ice presents Princesses & Heroes. 

Now, here’s how to win a Family Four pack? It’s Free. Like 100% free.THE CONTEST IS VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW. Details post below, but keep reading to get there.

540x300 Ebuzz

 

Sometimes you just know.

Ready to be a part of the Pre show? Here’s how to win them a family four pack.

Grab your camera and get your alter ego ready!

1.    How to Enter the Contest:

(a)    The “Disney on Ice” contest will begin on  September 1st and end on September 20, 2014. Contest is hosted by Queen City Stay At Home Moms & yours truly .

(b)    To participate in the contest, “Disney on Ice” contestants must make a 3 minute video of their self or their child acting out ” If I was a Disney princess, I would be _____.” WHILE using at least one of the most romantic Disney lines ever and send it to me, on Facebook!  The deadline for entry is 11:59 pm on September 20, 2014.

(c)    One entry per person.

(d) All entries become the sole property of QC Supermom.  By entering, entrants agree to abide by these rules, and warrant and represent that their entry is their original work.

Disneys09

 

 

2.    Prizes: One family will win 4 complimentary passes to Disney On Ice presents Princesses & Heroes. 

(a)    Contest prizes are not transferable.  Prizes may not be substituted for or redeemed for cash.  Station reserves the right to substitute prize of comparable value.

3.    Selection of Winners:

(a)    The Creative Services department, i,e. , my children (aged 2-16) will chose the best videos and use a majority rule voting process to determine the winners.

(b)    Decisions of contest sponsors, with respect to the contest, are final.

(c)    Winners will be notified by email.

4.    Contest sponsors reserve the right to make changes in the rules of the contest, which will become effective upon announcement.

Easy right? Okay here’s a peek of what I’m looking for.

Time For a little fun ya’ll!

QC Supermom

I Woke Up Like This!

bad food lady 1

I woke up happy, eager, on a mission and loved.I woke up like this……… QC Roar2

 

 

 

THEN I went to the market, got in the checkout line.and seen a lady shorter than me, although we have about the same wastes width. It’s rare that I compare myself to others, but her shopping cart made me feel like either my metabolism is seriously out of whack OR I need to step up my game….. as in adding exercising quickly because healthy eating alone isn’t working for me and I promised no diet pills..

I don’t want to offend anyone. Because food and diet is a personal thing.

I grew up hearing my uncle say ” Your bodies is like a car. The better you take care of it the better and longer  your body will take care of you.

See that food….. it’s not mine. It was the lady in front of me. bad food ladyWe don’t shop or eat like this. Our cheat days aren’t even this bad.

But I don’t exercise at all. So I guess she and I balance each other out.

  • I  purchased a workout hula hoop.
  •  I bought my gym membership from the YMCA
  • My son bought me some sweeeeeeeet sneakers
  • The boys  love getting in fun time outdoors.

Now what? We all have our struggles. And truthfully, I do want a magic pill. Life would be so much easier for me.

My feet hit the bed on average at 1 am and the floor at 6:30 every morning. I can’t seem to find time to workout. Between home schooling the boys, my work and house cleaning, I’m spent! I do know that all this sitting is awful on my body, and I need to change  this cycle.   I did NOT wake up like this and will not get back to where I want to be overnight. Any tips?

So far, I’ve came up with this video. She even provides affirmations. I like it! – 

Friday Four: I Told Ya So! You Had The Power All Along!

Some of us were raised with an emotional deficit; programmed to believe we’re not worth the ruby slippers we’re born with.

You Had The Power

We’d rather hang back on the yellow brick road, serving as landmines to personal happiness and fulfillment. It’s not healthy, but hey, it’s comfortable.

Even Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz eventually got her self together.

When I 1st became a mom, it was bitter-sweet. I was 17, still in high school and an embarrassment to my self and parents. (Even though they never said or suggested otherwise)

From the moment my son was born, I wasn’t 100% sure I was worthy of being loved by this tiny person. Why because society said so. As no honorable teen has a baby in high school, right? ‘

When it comes to following our dreams, it’s natural to be afraid. The greater the cost, the bigger the fear. The bigger the fear, the greater the reward. But what if we fail? Or even scarier – what if we succeed? Besides, everybody knows it’s more about the yellow brick road, than the man behind the curtain. Right?

Here’s 4 strategies to regain your power:

1. Drop your “image.” How many things are you doing to impress others so they’ll view you in a certain way? Have the internal confidence to drop them. Real power does not need this

2. Get some new friends. Surround yourself only with people who support you and show their support.

3. Just do it. Who do you think “decides” that you are powerful? You do. Real power is not given by money or title. Decide who you really are.

4. Stop complaining, start requesting.

Complaining doesn’t change things. Requesting action does. “Who,” specifically do you have to ask to do “what,” so that things improve?

Imagine if Dorothy knew she had the power all along, from the beginning. What a different movie, that would’ve been. Instead of soaking up each experience along the way, she may have clicked her heels right out of the gate. But that’s not how life works. Our lessons are designed to unveil themselves with each experience. We learn them when we’re supposed to. And if we don’t, guess what? Glinda The Good Witch aint showing up until we do.

There are tons of Glindas out there. Each one, selflessly waving their “wake-up!” wands, hoping to set us free from self-doubt. They understand why we perhaps can’t (or won’t) see our full potential. But that doesn’t stop them. After shunning the finger pointers, I continued to explore holistic motherhood.

I started writing in my journal. I noticed how others were parenting and watching how it played out in their child. I decided that I wanted to be a great mom, raise incredible children and still make money.

Mom coach, doula, product reviewer, CEO, craftier, instructor, speaker, income tax processor, MOM -whatever makes your panty tight, just DO IT.

It’s taken me a long time to get here, but now,my journey has made it worth it. And with the help of the Glindas of the world, I’m realizing – there really is no place like it with my large loving family.

When we realize our worth………………………………………….

Cup Of Abundance

Cup Of Abundance

QC Supermom

Wednesday Wow: “Every New Broom Sweeps Clean!”

bwbA new broom sweeps clean, but an old broom knows every corner. It warns that being fresh and loaded with energy, but experience is also a valuable thing.

In the light of everything that is going on with police power and “the White privileged I will use that saying another way.

Babies, are born with a clean slate ready to learn. Parents are older and they are responsible for leading and  carving their child.

Either I’m naive or so hard wired not to have noticed any racism personally. but listening to my husband and other older adults, I know it happens and was taken aback at some of the boldness of it all. After all this time and awful moments in racial history, how does it continue?

It comes from home!There is NO way a child that is brought up in a loving, supportive, well exposed home will grow up to be a racists. It won’t be in them.

For example. Weekly, my daughter babysits for a group of white moms while they meet privately in their home.I like this set up because not only do they pay and treat her well, she also gets to educate the babies. One girl said my skin is light, yours is dark. I like both of them.d and her

Here’s my point: I tell my children how awesome they are and how nice it is to have friends like them of every race. Every race is a door to something new and should be seen as a blessing. They know there is various types of skin colors, yet the quality of a person is what makes the difference.

A Mother’s White Privilege
By Elizabeth of “Manic Pixie Dream Mama” As the ongoing events in Ferguson, Missouri show us, America’s racial tensions didn’t disappear when George Wallace backed down from the schoolhouse door. Dr. King didn’t wave a magic wand, and we never got together to feel all right. White America remembers this at ugly flashpoints: the Rodney King beatings, the OJ Simpson trial, the Jena Six, Trayvon Martin’s death. White America recoils in horror not at the crimes – though the crimes are certainly horrible. It’s not the teenagers gunned down, the police abuse, the corrupt trials. It’s this: at these sudden, raw moments, in these riots and dem …
Read more and Share your comments

The Noah 6-3-2013 3-17-46 PM I would like to see more parents teach their children (or any child they come in contact with)  how to appreciate the differences each race bring to their life. Moms will instill universal love for everyone at infancy. More moms of color will feed her colored child affirmations of inner greatness and promise as she nurses him. I want to see more adults expecting the best from the youth, by being an example. And last but not least, I want to see more black woman love who they are and stop putting babies on “The Brown Paper Bag Test” (Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about). “OOh that, baby got good hair”…UUUugh – Stop teaching our babies to hate themselves and how to hate others!

Go make a colored friend,

QCSupermom

Goodbye Homeschool; Hello Charter School

I hope no one dares try to put me in a box. Although I support homeschooling 100%; I do what’s best for my family. As you should do for yours.

HoooRay! The girls are leaving homeschool!!!! Yup, you heard it hear! Their home schooled days are officially behind them. Hoooray!!!!  (yes, I’m  excited, can you tell?)

School days coming

After researching their perspective schools and visiting the campuses, made me want to attend high school all over again.

She said that her phone will be her best friend.

She said that her phone will be her best friend.

I remember when we took them out of public school like it was yesterday. It was horrible and no one was on our child’s side.

One daughter was bullied and bored. Every day she would weep. the children teased her because she wanted to learn, and the teachers ignored her because she kept asking for more work.

Even after numerous trips to the

Entrepreneur High School -DR Potts

Entrepreneur High School -DR Potts

school to discuss my concerns with the teacher, principal and even guidance counselor, nothing worked long term and it started to get old really quick. My other daughter was just restless. She got to a point where she felt like an insignificant number. We felt that the teachers were on the same level as her classmates. Things got way too unruly for us and yes, it was right up her alley.  We had to make changes before they became a habit. So I went to the placement center and it seemed like they gave me very little options. I had no options but to keep them with me at home. Who better right? I could help them prepare for life. FAST FORWARDING—the girls have their own business ( Cassie Sweetz  and The Big Sister ) and both are well involved in the community.

Culinary teacher  and uniformSo, I think it’s fair to say home school worked from them. Now they need something more. Something, that I can’t give them. More social skills with their peers, a more consistent study into college (should they choose to go), prom*, a break from each other; I’m not sure, but this decision feels right.

I’m sending them to  Entrepreneur High School and Kennedy Charter (on the campus of Johnson C.Smith University) both excellent choices for my girls. I have weighed the pros and cons and decided that they would benefit est at the perspective charter schools. 

If you need help navigating this big decision start some where. Ask yourself what’s best for your child. Can you give it to them? The answer will come. What I don’t want you to do is get lost in the education shuffle. I feel sorry for this mom. She should not be punished for wanting better for her son! Free Tonya McDowell!

I think both daughters will do just fine!

Ten Things to Look for In a School

10 Things Colleges Look for in a High-School Student

Read more on FamilyEducation: http://school.familyeducation.com/college-prep/high-school/56210.html#ixzz3AqJZWfVs