What every mom should teach their son

It is suggested that African-American mothers are harder on their daughters than they are on their sons and that African-American mothers spoil and favor their sons simply because they are males.

Learning of this myth led me to examine my own treatment of my children. When my daughter Samya was born, I was so fulfilled. So much that I went on to have 6 more. Earlier I asked my11 year old daughter if she felt that it was a truism for our household and she said Yes. It really surprised me. I guess that I have some things to look out for this week. I have four boys and 2 girls(4), and 1love each one dearly, and felt that any preferance was based on personality not gender. Here are the guidelines I have used for raising my sons:
  • Instill In Them Rock Solid Faith In God
  • Instill In Them Community, Civic and Political Responsibility
  • Instill In Them The Value and Importance of Education
  • Instill in Them The Value of Marriage and Family Unity
  • Instill In Them a Respect For Their Fellow Man
  • Insure That They Participate in Rites of Passage
  • Insure That They Have Proper Male Role Models

Men who don’t have a rock solid faith in God, almost always react to the issues of life by either traveling down one or more of these paths: giving up, resorting to drugs or alcohol, holding grudges, seeking vengeance or becoming passive, Or, they turn to: rage, anger, crime, abuse, sexual immorality or suicide. A rock solid faith in God affords a man the advantage of responding to life’s challenges, temptations and dangers with the Word of God and prayer.

Yes, I kow that I am responsible for setting the tone for my sons. To be frank, if we fail or refuse to do it, it will not get done! It’s a must that I impart to them a rich spiritual heritage. One that serves as their lifetime compass and eternal roadmap. By doing so, I will position my boys to see beyond dire circumstances, hopelessness and insurmountable challenges and tap into God’s unlimited resources to help them reign victorious in life.


Friday Four:The Earth Day Special

Are you celebrating Earth day today?  (I didn’t forget about Easter Sunday, but let’s get past one celebration before the next one-okay……..Today, I’ve listed my top 4 ways to celebrate this special day. After you read these, let me know what you think.


Earth Day 2011: Mission Reduce Reuse & Recycle

My top four Earth Day offering today

1.Thumbs up- gas prices down! Both of us had somewhere to be today!  We carpooled! While we worked on the EggStravaganza  for tomorrow he handled his business &  picked us up on his way back in for the day. This was great because I hate driving!

2. Collaborative consumption. Short story made quick. “Tonya” wanted her taxes done. My daughters need their hair done. I get their next five styles covered! Yeah me!

3. Goodwill rocks! I refuse to pay $23 for a shirt that she’ll wear once or twice. Stores like  Goodwill and The Jr League are a God send!

4. EarthFare – I refuse to cook when all of that great food is sitting over there waiting to be eaten by  my family & I. (kids 12 & under eat free on Thursdays 4-7pm)


BONUS: Bunnies don’t lay Easter Eggs……….He Rose,my saviour rose for ME………. Celebrate!

Wednesday Wow: about QC Super Mom

Yesteray made day 30 of my Supermom challenge. If you got somethingoutof it. Gret for you. I’m very happy to hearthat. If you didn’t ……well, that’s the brakes!  Maybe nex time!

I’m about parents directing, but not dictating, their families.
I’m about honesty, even if it isn’t what “should” be said.
I’m about discipline, not punishment.
I’m about changing what doesn’t work.
I’m about my “yes” meaning “yes” and my “no” meaning “no.”
I’m about protecting,not smothering.
I’m about sheltering,not enabling.
I am in love with my husband. And I like him most times, too.
My children are proof that God is faithful to His promises.
I love reptiles, insects, and ANYTHING that can fly and land on me, as long as they stay outdoors.
I am an parenting coach. Ihave 7 childen living and now I enjoy helping parents believe in themselves and take their rightful place in this kid-centered society.
I don’t always parent by the Bible, so if that offends you, you probably don’t want to read this blog.
Or maybe you do.
I love my family, eating well and Jesus Christ. And if you don’t, please give me a chance to tell you why.

Hit SNOOOOOOZE- FREE Tax extension

Ladies and gentlemen! I am tired. My bed is calling me in early tonight!  But before I go in,here’s a great tip for you:

 You can get a  FREE automatic tax extension. (if you don’t owe)

Use  TaxExtension.com is an IRS-approved e-file provider and extend your taxes online in minutes.
With this IRS-sanctioned website, you can be sure that the service will always be free and you won’t be distracted by advertisements for paid products.

If you have been on the ball–now it’s time to celebrate. National chains and local shops throughout the country are giving away food, massages, and even HBO on April 18, this year’s tax deadline. Here’s a few of these  tax day deals:

  • IHOP: Every day in April–not just Tax Day itself–children age 12 and under eat for free, as long as their parents purchase an adult entree. (One free kid meal per adult entree, between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m.) The kids’ menu features macaroni and cheese, pancakes, cheeseburgers, and other items, and all the meals come in at under 600 calories.
  • Also, track your favorite chain’s Twitter and Facebook accounts, because some are likely to announce last-minute giveaways and updates on their freebies. Most national chains, including almost all of the restaurants mentioned above, regularly update their Twitter pages with the latest information on discounts. At least two websites, taxdayfreebies.com and Brad’s Deals, are posting regular updates as retailers announce new offers
  • These others I had have ended already for the day. (sorry!)

And don’t let these freebies translate into a shopping spree. Restaurants and retailers aren’t making these offers out of the goodness of their hearts; they hope customers spend more as a result. So while you’re out copying your tax documents or picking up free ice cream, don’t blow your refund at the same time.

Friday Four: SEX!

I got your attention- didn’t! I!

It would be an understatement to assume that your little chocolate bundle of joy has turned your life on its head. Even with impeccable scheduling making “me time” or better yet “us time” with your partner is now at the whims of your new little one (and sometimes big one).

In fact, 47% of new moms say they have less sex now than before they had kids. This is the
result of a whole host of factors. If you are still breastfeeding, like me, your body’s higher levels of prolactin are suppressing your sexual desire. Then there is the simple fact that having a child puts your personal life on the back burner, whether you are married or not. Often times your just too exhausted to try to fit anything else into an already jam packed day. Generally studies show that your sex life will return to its pre-child levels after your youngest child is three.I can’t really relate to that with 6 other kids in the house. It’s not all bad though, you’ll find that while the sexytime is not what it used to be, you and your partner will begin to connect even better on more intimate levels.

But in the meantime while you wait for your child to reach the magic number three here are a four ways to keep the romance in your life:

  • Schedule a date night on a Saturday night, where you hire a babysitter, or barter with a trusted friend. When she/he gives you the signal that the baby is down, head home for some quality un-rushed one on one time. Or better yet let them take them for a few hours! It does wonders!
  • The one on one time your date nights give will help facilitate the spark back in your love life. So when you start to feel a little more spontaneous (and you will) follow your body’s lead. 54% of dads say that quickies are king, but in no way ware yourself out trying to fit this in everyday (only when the stars align!).
  • Talk about intimacy with your spouse. You need to have this conversation to understand what
    each other needs. What you think about when you think of sex and intimacy, gives you or him the most sexual gratification and most importantly what gets you both in the mood.
  • Invest in toys to keep your little one safe and preoccupied while you and the hubby steal away into a closet that locks from the inside preferably. EvenFlo has this great walker called the Exersaucer; it keeps your child away from harmful things and entertained while your preoccupied. I have my older kids play outside with our smaller ones. Or we wait till they are asleep.



  • When you can’t find time to do the do, don’t forget about the subtle ways to flirt and excite your relationship. Make sexy eyes at him, or a gentle sensual touch here and there to let him know that you still think about sex even if you two may not always have the time to do the deed. Now just in case you are wondering how I know? Well, I do have 6 kids and a husband!….>ALL SMILES!

Wednesday Wow: LOAVES And FISHES

Click here to find out more about Loaves and Fishes!

There’s something to be said about a male child that serves others. Even more when his sisters join in. Tomorrow is Loaves and Fishes volunteer appreciation dinner.  This year my 18 year old will be sitting next to his two younger sisters, D & Cassie. 

Get Creative

 Six years ago, when he was homeschooled, it was incorporated into his curriculum. Every Tuesday and Sunday, he knew where he was going. He never complained but I know it wasn’t his ideal way to spend his Tuesdays and most Saturdays.That expeirence has taught him a lot. Talking to him, I noticed that he was more  intuned with reality. Just because someone is driving a Benz, that doesn’t mean they got food in their belly, and that just because someone didn’t speak back to him, it didn’t mean that she didn’t like him or  have intentions of being mean. As he discovered on another visit she paid the pantry; she was abused by her mate and  only came out to get food for her kids and did not want to bring attention to herself!    He has seen a lot out there &  is reminded to be grateful, humble and helpful. I hope  those lessons learned will carry him into college & beyond.

Anywhoots, I can’t wait for tomorrow, to see other helpful people and break bread  with half of my kids with out coming out of my pocket or having to clean up..The  food is always delicious. Last year we got Rum cake and live flowers to take home. How awesome is that? Not exactly a reason to volunteer, but it surely makes it worth it my wild to ensure hat they make it there each week.  Think about it. It’s a win, win ,win situation all around!

Loaves & Fishes is a non-profit organization has been serving the working poor, families, homeless and seniors living in and around Charlotte for close to 30 years. What began as a simple first meal of fish and bread for 11 adults and 15 children has grown to nearly 500 groceries per day, served with dignity.  Their work has been made possible because of the generous donations of money, and planned giving, from caring individuals, families, small businesses, and corporations. Anyone can help! 

Most Needed Items

Salad dressings   Canned pasta    Crackers            Pancake mix/Bisquick
Canned pears       Canned fruit cocktail                   Pasta sauce
Peanut butter        Jelly                                                     Deodorant
Shaving supplies  Toothpaste

Friday Four: I Love 2 BreastFeed!

This is day 18 of my Supermom challenge- today…….Breastfeeding!

Why don’t more mothers do it?

Even Michelle Obama promotes it!  Why mammas, won’t you feed your child your milk? Don’t you know that it is worth $2.00 per oz on the open market!

First Lady Michelle Obama recently asked women to breast-feed more as she did with her children as part of her “Let’s Move” campaign. She believes there are health benefits with breast-feeding your children.I know it is. Both of my daughters skipped an entire grade level. My son took college classes in high school.

A statistic I read suggest that only 55 percent of Black women breastfeed their children. Whites and Latinos are both higher than 75 percent.  I’m not sure if that is true, but. I know that I would love to see more moms pop their boobs out for their youngons!

Right now my youngest is 9 monoths (well in 7 more days) & he is the 5th that I have nursed.I have never considered anything else. You do know that humans are the only mammal that nurtures its young on the milk of another species of animal.  Uug! Its just sooo unnatural that it cant be a good thing.

Just in case you need just a little encouragement, here’s my four reasons to breastfeed:

  1.  Breastfed children are healthier & smarter!
  2. Nursing burns 500 calories per feeding*
  3. Stops /delays ovulation
  4. Suitability – Your milk is best suited to, and so it is more gentle on, your baby’s body systems.

Now, are there women who should not breastfeed?  Yes. There are cases in which a mother should be advised not to breastfeed her baby:

  • Drug users
  • Women who have had previous breast surgery
  • Women with infectious tuberculosis

If you can’t Wet Nurse-

  • Wet nurse – a woman who nurses another’s baby:
    1. many upper class women hired wet nurses during various periods of history.
    2. infants orphaned due to maternal death have been wet-nursed.
    3. women worked as wet nurses for pay.


    Buy YOUR BreastMilk Online!

    Whatever your reasons for not breastfeeding — health, intense discomfort, or unrelenting frustration — the first order of business is to give yourself a break. “Breastfeeding is best, but good parenting is more than breastfeeding” .

    Click here for more info on breastfeeding!

    Breastfeeding your adopted baby

    Fathers that breastfeed!

    Just when you think that you\’ve seen it all: Milk Sharing!