It would be an understatement to assume that your little chocolate bundle of joy has turned your life on its head. Even with impeccable scheduling making “me time” or better yet “us time” with your partner is now at the whims of your new little one (and sometimes big one).
In fact, 47% of new moms say they have less sex now than before they had kids. This is the
result of a whole host of factors. If you are still breastfeeding, like me, your body’s higher levels of prolactin are suppressing your sexual desire. Then there is the simple fact that having a child puts your personal life on the back burner, whether you are married or not. Often times your just too exhausted to try to fit anything else into an already jam packed day. Generally studies show that your sex life will return to its pre-child levels after your youngest child is three.I can’t really relate to that with 6 other kids in the house. It’s not all bad though, you’ll find that while the sexytime is not what it used to be, you and your partner will begin to connect even better on more intimate levels.
But in the meantime while you wait for your child to reach the magic number three here are a four ways to keep the romance in your life:
- Schedule a date night on a Saturday night, where you hire a babysitter, or barter with a trusted friend. When she/he gives you the signal that the baby is down, head home for some quality un-rushed one on one time. Or better yet let them take them for a few hours! It does wonders!
- The one on one time your date nights give will help facilitate the spark back in your love life. So when you start to feel a little more spontaneous (and you will) follow your body’s lead. 54% of dads say that quickies are king, but in no way ware yourself out trying to fit this in everyday (only when the stars align!).
- Talk about intimacy with your spouse. You need to have this conversation to understand what
each other needs. What you think about when you think of sex and intimacy, gives you or him the most sexual gratification and most importantly what gets you both in the mood.
- Invest in toys to keep your little one safe and preoccupied while you and the hubby steal away into a closet that locks from the inside preferably. EvenFlo has this great walker called the Exersaucer; it keeps your child away from harmful things and entertained while your preoccupied. I have my older kids play outside with our smaller ones. Or we wait till they are asleep.
- When you can’t find time to do the do, don’t forget about the subtle ways to flirt and excite your relationship. Make sexy eyes at him, or a gentle sensual touch here and there to let him know that you still think about sex even if you two may not always have the time to do the deed. Now just in case you are wondering how I know? Well, I do have 6 kids and a husband!….>ALL SMILES!