ARRANGED marriages in 2011

Lord knows, I wish that I could choose my son’s mate! Not just his, but all 7 of them!  Yes, I know it’s Mother’s day weekend, and all, but how would I be myself if  I didn’t share something personal to my heart. I have always said that motherhood is not for the fainted of hearts. It is a very tough job & NOT everyone got the handbook. What I see for potential mates is just down right scary! Think about it!

For me, I want them all to have a smart , intelligent, strong-minded, sincere, life building, spiritual,partner. OK….So I’m VERY picky with whom my kids “look at”. To my defense, these are the traits that I am trying to instill in them. So I think it’s fair to look for  these characteristics  for them. So before you even charge in, I know this may be out of my hands, BUT it does lead me to think that maybe the  original Africans had a great idea when they arranged marriages for their kids!

Although I will never put my kids on any golden pedestal, I do have a hidden idea of  the type of person that would best suit each of my lovely children.

So I did a little research on the topic. Here is what I found to be the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages: 

  • Prearranged Marriages are More Stable

    Divorce statistics seem to strongly indicate that arranged marriages work far better than love marriages do. According to the divorce demography of nationmaster.com, India – a country where most marriages are arranged – has one of the lowest divorce rates worldwide (1.1%) compared to 46% in the USA, which means every second US American marriage ends in divorce.

  • Parents Have More Life Experience

    Still, the fact that partners in arranged marriages tend to have less unrealistic and emotional expectations may enhance the stability of the marriage. Another point is that parents are generally more experienced and are not likely to place much as much importance on sex appeal or external beauty when choosing a partner for their child. Mere sexual attraction and romantic emotions are no sound base for a healthy, enduring relationship.

  • Cultural and/or religious understanding. Many times, the arranged spouses descend somewhat from the same type of culture, or share the same religion. This ensures that the spouses understand one another’s lifestyles, and it gives common ground and belonging to the betrothed. In some cases, this preserves the cultural and religious identity of the persons and allows them to express it as they wish.

  • Love becoming the second most important thing. In arranged marriages, there is a saying, to think with your head and not your heart. Yet, it is important to think with both. Spouses who think only with their head may end up realizing there is no emotional compatibility, and those who think only with their heart may end up realizing they do not have a stable future. Although love may come later, it is important to secure a stable future. Sometimes the spouses are in love at meeting, at marriage, or later. Love sometimes blossoms later and when it does, only stregthens the marriage and make the spouses happier. However, in the case where love does not blossom, help can be sought- and if nothing can be done, then the marriage was not right somehow

    I can live with all of the above! Ok, ladies, in closing please raise your kids to attract a proper suitor. I want my children to have a selection to choose from. I promise them will be on point! 😉
    If ANYONE out there knows how to get rid of a gold digger/ I meant girl friend, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Have a great weekend mothers!

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