Friday Four: Fix, Switch, Fire & Forgive!

I have a few family members that I need to fire. Yup, QC Supermom said it! 

After  doing a cost benefit analysis of every person (or group of people) that I interact with on the regular basis.
I sent a note of appreciation to all my friendship soul mates (it made them smile) and then I had to figure out what I was going to do with anyone who fell in the “happiness vampire” category.     Although it’s a Friday Four day, I’ll share these three options:
Fix – If you’ve done your cost benefit analysis and decide that the relationship is worth saving, have an honest conversation with the person in question and bring your non-negotiables to the table. What would it take to turn the relationship around? From this point forward, what behaviors are non-negotiable?
Switch – Maybe there is someone in your life who doesn’t need to be fired but definitely needs to be demoted. Maybe they move from best friend status to loving acquaintance. If the relationship as it stands today isn’t sustainable but you’re not ready to cut all ties, maybe a status shift is in order.
Fire – Chances are, once you’ve taken a good hard look at all of the folks you regularly interact with, you will come across a couple of lost causes. Fire them. (If you shudder at the thought, repeat after me: Your birth certificate is not a binding contract, neither is years already invested, or fear of what people will think.)

The key to firing someone and not feeling like (or acting like) a heartless jerk is to forgive them first. Forgive your mother for drinking too much. Forgive your father for never saying he loves you. Forgive your abusive partner, your overly competitive siblings, and the friend who stabbed you in the back. (ouch!)

Forgive them not because they deserve it but because you do. Fire them not necessarily because of who they are but because of who you are and who you want to be and because you’ve finally realized that those two things cannot go hand in hand. The lessons you teach your children will be worth it!

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” -QC SuperMom

Wednesday Wow: Still Pregnant,tired and just plain hot!

          I really hope that you weren’t looking to be inspired today. As it really hasn’t been that type of week.

It has been in the  80’s this week here in the QC. We have been to the hospital twice thinking that this boy was gonna show up….but he didn’t. Since Monday, we have seen 8 houses. I’m still trying to figure out the incentive for our realtor. We’ve gone from looking to buy to wanting to rent. She’s been wonderful. On top of everything and very forward thinking.  Talk about value!  (thank you Lisa F. for referring  J.Lloyd to us- she is AWESOME!) If anyone is in need help buying  in NC/SC (should I dare include renting) I would totally put my neck on the chopping block to suggest her!  EOG’s are over…..THANK God!  Speed Street begins today downtown- Yahoo! And I have the best assistant organizer in the world for my growing Stay AT Home Moms group! She is truly my  easy button. The creator always send the right people into your path. YUP-YUP!

      Short version of my week thus far!

Please allow me to open up with a rant!   It may be this pregnancy, but my dear husband REALLY  got on my nerves a lot  this week. If he doesn’t pull it together his father’s day will look like his Mother’s Day. Hard work and no payoff. 

NOTE: He was  back on track today, bless his heart!

Oh Yes, I’ve started belly dancing- It’s wonderful. My doula says that it’ may help the baby travel a bit smoother. Honestly I would rather the baby come once we get settle in the new house. On the other hand, I am NOT looking forward to the Ring of Fire! (no it doesn’t get any easier with other births!) Here’s a belly dancing for beginners video!

*This was our best group game this week:  Cat and Dog Game– two stuffed animals are needed for this game. One represents a cat and the other a dog. The group sits in a circle on t0 the floor. The dog and the cat is passed around the circle in opposite directions to the music. The aim of the game is to get the animal to a predetermine point without dropping it. The child who drops the animal will do a dance, sing or some other activity.

As for dinner this week: It was anything in a wheat wrap or corn taco shell. We dived right into the super food breakfast smoothies! Need a few recipes to try yourself? Click here.

This poem here, everyone seemed to love most:

Some words for my babies…

If I teach you nothing else, let me teach you this.

If you love yourself, others will love you.
If you treat yourselves with kindness, others will treat you kind in return.
If you keep the sparkle in your eye, others will be drawn to it.
If you lay down, people will walk over you.
If you accept failure, you will fail.
Set the tone or others will set it for you.
Lead and people will follow.
Follow and you will be lead.
Cry when you want.
Dance when you want.
Fight!

Kick a little behind. It’s liberating.

-the end.

OK, now back to work. It’s time to find some give A ways for my moms! That means time to tell folks why my mom support group ROCKS!  This is the exciting part! Later ya’ll.

-QC SuperMom

Wednesday Wow: EOG’s are back again!

N.C. End of Grade tests: Love, hate or all of the above

EOG’s, EOG’s, EOG’s -Different day, Same  test!  One daughter did well, the other not so much!  Seems as though we seen these results before. My 8th grader feels that she should have done better on her Science scores  So retaking it is.

Yesterday, speaking with one of my daughters teacher’s, she shared some interesting news with me. She said ”

My kids took the EOG’s this past week. It was not good. I have a fairly bright bunch and I was shocked at how poorly they did. Only 6 of my 16 passed both tests. So next week we start reteaching before they test again. I will be dong remediation with the kids who didn’t pass reading. Does anyone have any good ideas for remediation? I can’t get them reading on grade level in 5 days.The frustrating thing is that of my 9 who did not pass reading, 7of them missed passing by 1 point.

So why is it again we don’t want teachers teaching to these tests?

This is the week to officially hate our North Carolina EOGs. Go ahead. They’re too high-stakes. They don’t measure different kinds of learning. They’re stressful for students and teachers and parents.  We have two students taking it this year. A 7th and 8th grader, for the 8th grader, the tests will be a factor in classroom placement for high school next year.

For many of those teachers, the issue with tests isn’t how you measure learning, but how to measure teaching. They worry that high-stakes tests don’t calculate the intangibles they provide, or the challenges students bring from home environments. They worry, too, that tests don’t measure all the things and ways students learn.

That’s true, but it’s an argument for better tests, not few tests. Because unless CMS chops its classes in half, standardized testing is the best way to measure broadly how students are learning. The alternative is knowing less about what our children know. It’s trusting that all of our teachers and principals are as good as we hope, or that they’ll tell us if they’re not.
I do not like this test and am not sure how valid scores are when the kids have to test for so long. It used to be that the kids could not go to the next grade unless they passed it, but now it is just 1 piece of info we use to decide on promotion.

Our schools have already taken that test, and we know the result.

Say No to the Test!

Check out this page on understanding NC ‘s many student test.

I found a few pros and cons about the NC EOG’s here!

Bubble test that won’t pop!  Why HOMESCHOOL  

Friday Four: 4 Reasons 2 Smile

I am listing my 4 reasons to smile right now. This week was really crazy. If you read Wednesday’s post you’d see why I am smiling today! No time to be down ya’ll!

1. My practitioner called. She said that my last blood lab test, you know the one I was completely frightened about Wednesday was a false read. I’m as healthy as a horse! Whoot-woot!

2.     WE’RE  MOVING!     The Veterans Administration has FINALLY came through! We are now back on an active hunt for a 4 bed/2 bath home. Talk about a long 3 months of hard living. Our kids are champs!

3. JERVON’S COMING HOME!

My first born is on his way home as I type !!!! Yippie!  College has done him well. Now that we can’t “see” each other everyday there are I love you’s all up & through our conversations. His thinking process is just better! (He’s no. 30 in that picture.)

4. THE PINK GRASSHOPPER PANTRY DRIVE  WAS AN SUCCESS!

On May 9th, we celebrated my transitioned daughters 18th b’day with The Ronald McDonald’s House -Charlotte. On the same day they opened their doors, she was born, so it just made sense to celebrate together! I along with other supermoms collected loads of supplies for their pantry. SaMya would’ve LOVE it.

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Wednesday Wow: scary lab test

Ta-da! 20 years ago, my inner superhero revealed herself. In the right situation, talents I never knew I possessed sprang into action. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound — if one of my beloved children was in peril, that is. Then comes Mother’s Day. The big pay back day! 

I hope everyone had or gave a great Mother’s Day! Mine was great. Everyone was healthy, fed and sheltered. I even got hot wings , fuss free diaper changes, texts phone calls and awesome hand made gifts to celebrate with it.

In the light of  such a celebration, came darkness. Monday I went to see my practitioner for this pregnancy. She gave me some really scary news about my recent blood test.  She & I hope it’s a false positive. Lord knows I hope it is…..The lab will call with new results within 48 hours.  When she gave me the news, all I could think of was my kids, sisters, dad, and husband.  In that order.  I didn’t even have the heart to tell my husband. I’ll just wait to hear the results  before I get anyone worked up.  He did noticed a sad look in my face when I got home.Even asked what’s going on lady.  I didn’t bother to say anything. My husband tends to over react  So far today, I’m in the motions. I’ve already gave the boys their lesson, fed them, -the usual and just sitting here staying busy till my girls get home. No need to worry too much, my life is not my own.  I just cringe on the idea of being without my children. I  LIVE for them & my mothering isn’t done quite yet.  Keep me in your thoughts for peace & strength.

-Kelle, QC SuperMom

………this is the topic I was gonna write on. Yeah, it’s equally important.

Chemicals to avoid

Friday 4: DinoSauer Train, time tunnel to MOM

“Time Tunnel, Time Tunnel Approaching!”

If you have smaller children, you maybe familiar with the PBS show Dinosaur Train. It showcases Buddy, a Pteranodon and all their Theropod friends as they travel the Dinosaur Train to meet, explore, and have adventures with all kinds of dinosaurs.

You gotta check out this video! Click here!

I have 2 favorite dinos on there.

Tiny is a Pteranodon who approaches dinosaurs with much confidence  Every time she sees a different dinosaur as her new friends, she introduces herself and her family with her. Among her siblings, she is the only one who looks exactly like her mother. She is the smallest of the family, and sometimes likes to hide in holes and crevices in the trees, which she calls her “Tiny Place”.

Another one of my favorite characters is Mrs. Pteranodon  The mother of Tiny, Shiny, Don, and Buddy.  She is a teacher, companion, and very nice.  Her children introduce her to other dinosaurs as “Our Mom, ‘Mom’. Just as my kids do.

I guess I could call myself Tiny, as I’m the youngest in my family. I too look the most like my mom & is always with family. This Mothers Day, I want to take a ride through the time tunnel to see my mom again.

Here are my four reasons why I want to  jump on the dinosauer train with my children to see my mom.

1. She was the salt of the earth. Being in her presence was always peaceful & inspiring.

2.  I do what I do because I learned from her. At times I think a left many lessons on the table that she laid out for us girls. Although she made it look so easy, I know she did ALOT  for us.  One lesson, she taught us well. “Don’t blame people  for what’s wrong in your life. Take your power back & realize YOU co-create your life with The Uni-verse.”

3. I wanna to see her love up on all these grandchildren of hers. Theirs something about seeing the love  & promise between a mom & her grandchildren. To see her hugged & kissed up with my mall ones—priceless!

4.  She was my living easy button. My husband & I are VERY SELECTIVE as to who has access to our kids. Not everyone will care for your children as you would. My husband  I could use a real date night. (Gosh, that sounds selfish- didn’ it ? Yeah, it’s my truth and besides that we we’re always good about “Suga-Mama” perks!

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Besure to honor and respect your moms 365.  There’s no darn time tunnel back.

Labor is Like a Box Of Chocolate

There are definitely a lot of the same old techniques that everyone hears about such as walking, having sex, castor oil, nipple stimulation. I don’t know if they work but I was lucky enough to have a doula.

Just this morning, I was  told to use caster oil and orange juice to get the baby here…….I’m not in ANY rush for my water to break! I’ve also heard about the bouncing on a birthing ball, drinking other types of tea or oil stuff (but heard that some of those herbal teas all they do is condition your uterus). Also
pressure points in feet or back to massage. Here’s another one-since  we take in 90% of our stress through our eyes, it’s probably true that we’d get 90% delight from looking at something we love to see

Since and before then I’ve heard equally remarkableideas.

Labor and delivery are such an unknown. And it is really difficult to completely prepare for labor. The course of labor and delivery are variable, determined by your genes (if your mom had a fast labor, yours may be faster than average), your size and the size of your baby, the position of the baby inside of you and many other factors. And the experience of labor is even more variable, depending on your tolerance of discomforts, the support you receive, the policies of your hospital, availability of anesthesia (if you want it) and even what time of day it is and if you start labor tired or fresh.

What are the stages of labor and birth?

The process of labor and birth is divided into three stages:

The first stage begins when you start having contractions that cause progressive changes in your cervix and ends when your cervix is fully dilated. This stage is divided into two phases:

• Early labor: Your cervix gradually effaces (thins out) and dilates (opens).  Listen to -I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight – Bob Dylan
• Active labor: Your cervix begins to dilate more rapidly, and contractions are longer, stronger, and closer together. People often refer to the last part of active labor as Listen to- Under Pressure – Queen
•  transition. Listen to- Hurt so Good – John Cougar Mellencamp

The second stage of labor begins once you’re fully dilated and ends with the birth of your baby. This is sometimes referred to as the “pushing” stage.

Listen to– Push It – Salt-n-Pepa
Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash
Release Me – Wilson Phillips
I’m coming out – Diana Ross

The third stage begins right after the birth of your baby and ends with the delivery of the placenta. Listen to– Baby Love – Supremes

Fourth state: Baby, we’re home!
Listen to- Up All Night- Talking heads

OR just use this handy-dandy guide-

Here are some ideas for creating your personal childbirth playlist in case you want to listen to something other than the anesthesiologist’s voice and your partner’s encouragement.

If you’ve been crying for 40 weeks and the scrapbook is already huge…
“Isn’t She Lovely,” by Stevie Wonder
“Beautiful Day,” by U2
“Daughters,” by John Mayer
“Father and Son,” by Cat Stevens
“Hold On,” by Wilson Phillips

If you prefer black onesies…
“Push It,” by Salt-N-Pepa
“Snow (Hey Oh),” by Red Hot Chili Peppers
“Love Stoned,” by Justin Timberlake
“Hey Baby,” by No Doubt
“Stronger,” by Kanye West

If yoga class and Lamaze have you feeling just fine…
“Three Little Birds,” by Bob Marley & The Wailers
“Comfortably Numb,” by Pink Floyd
“O-o-h Child,” by the Five Stairsteps
“(They Long To Be) Close to You,” by Carpenters
“One Sweet World,” by Dave Matthews Band

If you conceived on vacation…
“Margaritaville,” by Jimmy Buffet
“Better Together,” by Jack Johnson
“Somewhere over the Rainbow,” by Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole
“Paradise,” by Sade
“Soak up the Sun,” by Sheryl Crow

Right now as I type, I’m out of early labor. Now that my cervix is about 4 centimeters dilated, baby #9 progress will begin to accelerate!

Did you hate the list? Truth is mom should listen to whatever relaxes her! After all,you’ll never know what to expect during labor & delivery other than pain, pushing and blood!

Friday Four: Say Don’t forget to Say Shut Up!

TGIF!!!!!!

Sometimes being a lady, mother and professional can be trying……….Steve Harvey doesn’t have a clue when he said act like a lady and think like a man. I haven’t seen the movie yet but whatever!!!!!! You have to think like a woman and act like a lady if you ask me -Because that alone is alot! Especially when you’re dealing with brain dead folks that make you want to lay your cross down & just curse!

My mom and grandmom considered it a curse to say the “S” word. But every once in a while, Ya Gotta let it rip!  Go head say it…….

SHUT UP!

(OH GOSH THAT FELT GOOD!

Know what I mean?  Here is what I do when I silence certain folks:

These really work!

1. Ignore what you can. Choose your battles. Some folks you just have to accept them for their IQ levels. They are harmless.
2. Shock them! I have an aunt on my dads side. They are  from a very loving and productive family of 13. She asked me how many more kids my husband & I are planning on having. I responded ” as many as your mom had, now bow down!”
3. Leave them alone. Protect your spirit! The saying is true-If mama aint happy, aint  anyone happy! I would never allow someone to bring me down. I may have to leave them alone for a season or a few times I’ve had to completely cut ties. This include blood relatives.
4. Be My Best! Let’s face it, we’ve all ran past our front door in a mess. I’ve done it a plenty of times and have regretted it EACH TIME! I know I’m wrong for it. Some people love to talk. The last thing I should be doing is giving them ammunition.  🙂 Now on the other area of my family I stay on point. As the scripture goes, a wise woman builds her house.  Let them talk…..they can’t say much.

It doesn’t matter if you been a drunk, Abused ,Pimped up, Jacked up, Drugged up, Shot up, Sexed up , Used up or Knocked up .. There isn’t anyone that God can’t PICK-UP .. CLEAN UP .. LIFT UP .. LOVE UP .. & MOVE UP .. ….So tell them to SHUT UP !- QC Supermom

Wednesday Wow:Prayer, Faith and Action!

(Make sure you’ve read the previous post before reading this one)

Faith and Good Works are Intricately Related

It’s all a matter of cause and effect. I think James 2:14-17 tells us that true faith will manifest itself in good deeds, so our works are the effect of our faith.  It’s not that we have to give evidence, it’s that the evidence will present itself.  It’s true that we’re saved by grace through faith, not by works (Ephes. 2:8-9).  But someone once said, “If what you believe doesn’t result in action it’s doubtful you really believe it.”  I see James 2:14-17 as a means of self evaluation.  Do we see evidence of our faith in the things we do? If not, why not?

While I’m not a bible thumper at all, there are some things I do recall from growing up in a southern church.

Some times I get speechless. Yes, just lost for words. Chatting with someone recently who was going through a rough time, she said “I’ve been praying and praying and nothing is happening. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Really?

Prayer is a sincere request to God or an object of worship. Every tradition talks about the importance of prayer. When I was young,  my mom and pastor taught me to  view prayer as my time to confess, ask and wait. I now realize that there is more to prayer than just that. What I have come to learn about prayer over the last 6 years is that its extremely important what you do after you have prayed.

Sometimes we are so busy worrying about our problems that even after praying about it, we continue to worry. I believe this is what we must change in order to have our prayers answered. We really don’t know how the answers will come, and we need not concern ourselves with how. What we should do is have faith, be open, willing and ready to receive. If our minds are filled with anger, fear, distrust, worry and uncertainty, how can we hear the answers to our prayers.

You must have faith! Faith is confidence or trust in a person or things. (preferably yourself)   Having faith is absolutely necessary in order to have your prayers answered!  In order to achieve the level of success you desire, having faith is definitely required.  There is no other way!  For example, if you are worried that your marriage, health or even business will fail, I suggest you pray, have faith, and take action.

Remember, what you focus on expands. Focus on your marriage*( OK, let’s face it though, some unions are never meant to be but that’s for another post), health, business succeeding!  If your faith is strong, you will have confidence that your prayers will be answered and you will naturally just keep taking action towards your success.

“I will show you my faith by my works.” 

These are strategic in nature, yet motivational quotes that I came across online.  These can be used for anything from war to business.

Abraham Lincoln
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

Mark Burnett
There’s nothing like biting off more than you can chew, and then chewing anyway.

Thomas Jefferson
I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

Thomas Edison
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

There is  Nothing  like imposSible….even the word  “iMpossIbLe” says ” I’m possible”!

Proverb 18:21 Speak Over Yourself!

Where you are right now is no indication of where you will be in the future. So don’t get hung up on what’s not going your way at this very moment. Meditate instead on all that God has promised to do for, in, and through you. And as your thoughts change, so too, will your words. As your words change, so too will your outcome.

The words that you say can determine the mind-set you will live by, whether positive or negative. What words are you speaking into your life? There are words we can speak that bring life, healing, deliverance, breakthough, power and  authority.

I really enjoy the song “Encourage Yourself” by Donald Lawrence; it explores the necessity of speaking life into your own situation even during the most discouraging times. Instead of complaining and giving into feelings of defeat, depression, and disillusionment, you’ve got to learn to speak over yourself.

Here’s why? There will inevitably be times when you’ll be going through uncomfortable and trying situations. And if you don’t begin speaking positive over your life, you’ll feel drained, depleted, and distressed. I know this to be true in my own life.

Things that you can possibly work on achieving through your words?

• Change your feelings
• Open your eyes to see hidden things
• Strengthen your will and resolve to do something
• Strengthen your faith and conviction about a matter
• Clarify the right steps to take
• Remove old thought patterns and create new thought patterns
• Stir up your expectation
• Increase your awareness of something.

That’s why, when hard times arise, I run to the Lord. I begin praying His word and His will. And although I’m not always sure about how He’ll work everything out for me, by speaking His word, my faith is built up and my outlook is changed. Not only that; I also release His word to work for me, by confessing it with my mouth and believing it in my heart.

Today I want to admonish you to stop speaking words of defeat. As always, thanks for reading, and until next time… may you be empowered to prosper!

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly” — Patrick Overton

Have faith that your prayers will be answered and keep taking action towards your success! Read more on Wednesday

Wednesday Wow: Prayer, Faith and Action!