College Boys, they are something else. Mine for one sure is! Now that he has graduated from high school and in my case, thousands of miles away my job as a mom is still not over. NOT BY A LONG SHOT! My role now is of an advisor. So sure, I’ll cut the apron strings but leave a few snags attached.
True or False: Boys are easy to deal with once they go to college? You just send them a few dollars every once in a while and BAM straight A’s till graduation.
Please tell me you didn’t just say true? I can tell you first hand that raising a son in college is both a joy and a challenge. I never know when I have to activate my supermom powers for my son. So I keep an extra cape in the closet just for him!
Wanna know how I mother from a distance? Here are my four top tips of how you can ensure that your college son has a place in this world!
1. Use Technology. There are loads of online apps and other tools to use for free. I like Sykpe, and unlimited phone plans, Sure snail mail will always be a nice touch for reminders of home ,love and family, so don’t leave that out. Just find something that works for you and use it.
2. Have other connections at his school. Using this guiding principle that in college, you are expected to take responsibility for what you do and don’t do, as well as for the consequences of your decisions. I know that it s a HUGE transition for him. My son plays basketball. So I created a relationship with his coaches, professors, and even a few of the dorm and team mates. This way someone can always keep me informed on a need to know basis. Minor stuff they know they can keep to themselves.
3. Make sure he has everything he needs both finacially, spiritually and mentally. You won’t be able to run out and get those little things you do for the others in the house. Consider opening up a free or low fee banking account and agree to a regular budget. Allow him to procure it on his end. Then mentally, their mind has to be prepared long before entering the college campus. Immaturity or passivity won’t work. Instead,groom him from birth to be assertive, persistent ,to have thick skin, good manners and time management skills. Otherwise they may send him back to your front door as fast as you had redecorated his old bedroom. As it’s more to college success than good grades and teachability.
4. Above all…be available & know your child! (ok, that’s two different things -sue me; the post is called Friday FOUR) Now, as I was saying….call it a third sense, but I know when something is off with my child just by his voice. He get’s off pitch and he is s l o w to respond to my simple questions. Because I feel that he is comfortable discussing issues with me, it’s easy to bring out other issues that needs a moms attention. The conversation usually goes like this: “What’s up son?” He’ll say” N o t h i n g ..”- right then and there I know, I have to put on my Supermom boots, because that was not the response I was looking to hear. Mothering a college son is possible with the right tools and mindset. You’ve given him wings, now watch them soar!
Till next time, QC Supermom