Friday Four: 4 Things Not to say to a SAHM in 2013

HELP! NEW STAY AT HOME MOM.BORED TO TEARS, GAINING WEIGHT, GETTING NOTHING DONE AND FEELING GUILTY AND SAD EVERYDAY 😦

Stay-at-home parenting is harder than I thought. Maybe it’s the fact that my child was colicky for the first six months of his life, and that even at eight months old, he—and, consequently, I—have yet to sleep through the night. Maybe it’s my own fault for setting unrealistic expectations for what sort of stay-at-home mom I would be: the kind who preserves her own produce, makes her own laundry soap, and still has time to put on makeup every morning.

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Bye-bye pearls and casseroles— “We are still reminded of the mom in the 1950s, Mrs. June Cleaver. The face of the stay-at-home mom has changed since the days of June Cleaver. Today’s Stay-at-Home Mom is sexy, nurturing, resourceful, fun, innovative and creative!

Forget everything you’ve heard about stay-at-home moms. A new generation is starting their own businesses, learning through educated play dates, and enjoying opportunities to help others all while enjoying motherhood.

1. Girl, I couldn’t do it! All them kids, whew! 
I surround myself with friends people like myself.When someone asks me what I do, I tell them I stay home with my children and I’m not in the least ashamed or embarrassed. I have learned that most people who don’t think much of stay-at-home moms (SAHM) don’t know what’s involved and how much a family benefits and appreciates what we do. I am raising healthy,loving, productive, beautiful and well educated citizens.kokok

2. Let’s go to the thrift store, it’s cheap. You can afford that it. 
Uurk! Hit the brakes! Sure, but let’s swing by the bank first. Being a great stay at home moms includes being resourceful. It’s not what we bring in, it’s more about how we spend it. I make most of my cleaners, crafts, birthday cakes, curtains,and gardening. But I also shop at the farmers markets, Micheals, Earth Fare, Forever 21, and other great value stores we choose. I personally prefer to wear clothes we have designed than to pay someone to market their design.Shopping the way we do has allowed us to keep our bills paid, have an emergency AND big ticket savings. So sure, let go, I’ve got my stash of coupons intow!.

3. You must never get time to yourself.

I don’t get nearly as much girl talk as I used to, but I know, as my children get older and more independent, there will be more time for me. As for keeping working girlfriends close – live your life, care for your family, and if these old friends want to keep in touch they will. You can offer a meeting, but don’t be surprised when you see less and less of most working friends. Just remember that the true friendships will last. Also I enjoy my stay at home moms group, Queen City SAHM’s, it’s a two’fer, a friendly outlet for myself and playtime for the kids. We go many places together, Usually we have my oldest. daughter keep the kids for a small fee.

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4. Can’t find a job huh? While that maybe true for some. Personally, I consider day care to be neglect and child abandonment.  There has been sufficient research over the years demonstrating the negative impact of day care on children. I decided to stay at home after our second daughter was born. My husband work and the hours from my job were just awful. I love that I get to stay at home and I can still use my two Johnson and Wales University degrees working as a product reviewer, blogger and cooking with with kids class instructor. Staying at home is so much more work than my job ever was but I wouldn’t change it for anything, even if I have to scrub that my sons walls my 3yo has marked up 4 times every day.

Having your infant or toddler at home being cared for by either a loving parent or grandparent is the ideal.  Whether that’s possible for you or not, it’s still the ideal.Till next time, QC Supermom.

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