My daughters are often the envy of some of the other moms in our local mom support group for one reason–they both have sworn off dating until they’re 18. Although one of them is a total nerd, neither of them are ugly. They’ve both been asked out many times, but they both give the same answer. We don’t date. Dating at this age, they say, is pathetic .
I wanted to include my husband in this discussion. So I asked him for his insight. He said “It’s normal for them to want to desire the opposite sex.” He said to have them watch medical tapings of vanerial diseases, dress them in chastity belts and send them to Saudi Arabia.
As unorthodox as that sounds, it may work. One of their friends just became a dad, so I can see where the drastic ideas come from. In short kids need a lot of communication, guidance, and information about these issues, even if they sometimes don’t appear to be interested in what you have to say.
Here are my 4 strategies to keep your daughter date envy free .
1. Have a conversation about sex, ideal boyfriends and the duty(s) of a relationship. You are responsible for setting sexual limits in a relationship. Girls need to be “certified!” They want to know that they are “acceptable” in todays society.
2. Take them everywhere you go: Friends have a strong influence on each other, so help your children become friends with kids whose families share your values. Expose them to the good, bad, and “Omg, I want this in my life!” This minimizes them hanging with the wrong influences and encourages them to see the perks of a positively productive life .
3. Sit on your husband’s lap and hug up in front of them. This works every time. My 15 year old says that we are too old for all of that. I makes us giggle but know she likes the fact that we still like each other as spouses(most times) some 16 years later.
4. Show them how to make money: I can’t stress this enough. I think too many girls are looking for the wrong thing. If they make just $50 a week, or learn a new skill. it will work. They can buy their own goods. Take her own self out to lunch with friends.
And parents, have regular conversations, you won’t worry so much about making a mistake or saying something not quite right, because you’ll always be able to talk again.
These are the strategies we used for our girls. Hope they work for you as well. What are some that have worked for you?