Last week impressed me. Not in a good way either. I seen first hand why a solid support system is a must for a successful labor and delivery. What I did like about the entire situation is my daughters learned a few lessons as well.
The birthing process puts mom in a critical position. As a young girl, my mom always said it’s like having one foot in the grave and one on land. I seen the wrong support end in a infection for mom and baby last week and hope that I will never see anything like that again.
This is for ANYONE that has anything to do with a laboring mom. Please read and follow these simple suggestions.
1. Don’t say “Goodie, see I told you it would hurt” or “Stop yelling!” Yes, the teens mom said this to her. I don’t want my daughters on the laboring bed either (as I was at 17 years old) but I would never say such cruel things to her. Life will be challenging enough. Instead say some thing to encourage her like, “You’re doing a great job” or “you’re laboring beautifully.” statements like that can make her feel confident when she doesn’t and also prevents the staff from saying things like “She looks tired. Do you want an epidural?”
2. Don’t take pictures of her with her hair all over the place unless she’s okay with that type of stuff. Even then, I’m sure the baby does not want to see mom looking a hot mess. At least put one of those hospital caps on and rub her lips with Shea butter. She’ll love you for it.
3. Give her sips of water after every contraction in hard labor-
Have a cup or bottle ready, full of her favorite labor drink, (water, herbal tea, coconut water) with a bendable straw. This will help her labor efficiently. It will not only give her energy but helps keep her hydrated. So just do it.
4. “‘You can’t push yet.” (Doesn’t that just sound crazy to you?) My nurse asked me to wait while the call the doctor from the cafe three floors down. My girlfriend, and the nurse delivered that son of mine. There is no such thing as “Hold it!”
I should have added more than 4 on this topic. Maybe I’ll add more later. I’ll end with this bonus tip:Hire a Doula! Think of us as a helper for YOU too- This is a person who can remind you what you know, can spell you if you need to pee or eat an energy bar, and who can be supportive for everybody involved. This isn’t something that everybody wants or needs- but if it is something she wants- it will benefit you too.
The birth experience is important for the whole family. Mom, however is the one who will be giving birth. Make it pleasant and think of what you want in the end…. a happy, healthy, baby!