Friday Four: Finding Chastity

Ok, yes, I know it may be strange for a teen mom like myself to bring up chastity, but YES…. I am. I mean, think about it. Who better? I think I scared my husband so much that when he found out we were having daughters, the first thing came out of his mouth was”I want to get my girls to wear chastity belts!” True story.    It was the first time I have ever heard about chastity belts, but as time past, it was shout out time after time at very interesting times ranging from self preservation to political statements.

 

Believe it or not, there was an Italian woman forced to ask firefighters to liberate her from a chastity belt because she lost the key to the contraption. The woman, who has not been named due to privacy reasons, reportedly wore the belt of her own volition to stop herself from having sexual relations. Chastity belts were long thought to have been inflicted on medieval wives in order to prevent them from having affairs, but historians now believe that they are the stuff of myth; most references to chastity belts in medieval literature are satirical. Our anonymous Italian friend, it seems, did not get the memo. If only she had guarded the key to her iron panties with the same sort of fervor that she dedicated to protecting her loins. NY TIMES

“I tried to push her away, but she wouldn’t stop until she was finished. When she was, she said, “You better not say shit to no one or else you gonna get a terrible whupping.” R. Kelly via The Black Voices

4 Ways to ENCOURAGE chastity to teens:

  1. Protect what your child is exposed.  Give the talk, but walk the walk. Our children can more easily recognize the distinction between right and wrong when we are consistent models of right behavior in all matters. So know that there are some magazines, t.v. shows. and conversations you may need to keep out their reach.

“I tried to push her away, but she wouldn’t stop until she was finished. When she was, she said, “You better not say shit to no one or else you gonna get a terrible whupping.” R. Kelly via The Black Voices

2. Be mindful of who your child is exposed to. Having the right influence around your children is detrimental. My husband and I never let our children out of our sight until they were old enough to articulate what went on around them and understood that their body was private. Our ideal influence are positive, loving (but not too loving*) respectful and non over sexually seductive -dressed person, media, t.v. programs and music..

When my niece was young, like 12,  she made it very clear that not only did she know her daughter had a boyfriend she also said that she did care.  She though because her daughter minion family partydidn’t go anywhere with the boy, that meant there was no concern for that relationship. Well guess what happened less than 3 years later? Yes, she got pregnant. While I didn’t rub it in her face or reminded  her that girls don’t go from pumps to flops. Sex was bound to happen. I thanked God that I never questioned my rules toward my daughters on having boyfriends at a young age.

3. If you haven’t already, build trust. That leads to many opportunities for discussion  and  influence on the subject. We parents have so much more power than we give our-self credit for.

4.Last but not least. Get your child involved in worthwhile activities, like music, sports, drama, and hobbies that develop talents.

ring

I never share pictures of gifts, but I had to share this one. Kaylah’s Sweet 16 gift arrived. Kudos to my Dad, the first man to place a ring on his granddaughter’s hand, he has definitely set the bar. Love him infinity. He said “who’s her Grandpa”!!

More great tips on teen chastity

eHere – yes, just click that 🙂

Alright ladies, keep it locked down.

Jabela!

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