Sis, is He Your Husband? – An Officiant’s Post

Hello friends, I’m back! Today, I’m sharing another part pf me. ….Go on call me “Jabela”, I’m a non denominational ordained marriage officiant. That’s a person who officiates at a wedding ceremony (among other things) I have been married for over twenty years. Over that time, I’ve accepted a few facts. And I want to share them with you.

Before you get married, I need you to intentionally consider these questions. If you aren’t sure of all of the following tips….. don’t get married for love, support and legacy building. These tips are needed, so please share them. I also offer pre-marital coaching, so no excuses sis!

Before Getting Married

For many women, marriage is something she’s been looking forward to since knee high to a grasshopper.. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the ultimate goal, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. Below are a few of my top SUGGESTIONS for vetting a husband. As Judge Mayblean said, Look Deep, before you leap!”

Does he pursue you? He should be articulating his intentions clearly. Not just how well he stroke. But does he truly believe that you are his wife- consistently?

Is he trying to learn you or trigger you regularly in a practical relational way? He hurts when he fails to protect you in certain situations.

He always honors you? How many pages he has and the two of ya’ll together in on none of them. Does he handle you in a certain way, If he doesn’t hold doors, look for ways to brighten your day, sis he ain’t your husband.

He enhances your femininity. He Heals your soul! Many woman running both roles. Now, I’m a Proverbs 31 woman myself. But your man should provide a safe place for you to melt all of that down when you hit the front door of your home. It’s your carefree time. Fall back sis. That 6’8 handsome , flashy man isn’t the move. He doesn’t compound trauma sis!

He lives in a way that his character demands respect. He don’t verbally nor physically demands it.

You don’t have to BUILD him. Instead you are naturally inclined to help him arrive to his assignment. But he already has the vision and putting in work. Your skill set is complimentary.This man is motivated to be the best he can be for ya’ll! He will never be content just hanging around unproductive.

I hope you aren’t attempting to coach him into asking him you to marry you. No number of child births, hot meals, sex, or family dates is gonna change his mind (& heart.) That’s a huge red flag. I have just given you many to consider. So save yourself the trauma. If it’s your intentions to be a wife and not just a “Friend with Benefits”, do not assume that he will ever make you his wife.

Sis, you are “The Prize” Don’t be confused anymore! Claim it, Walk in it a – put the work in and secure your hearts desires. Prizes don’t chase. Find out more about me here………(click here)

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