Friday Four: Fix, Switch, Fire & Forgive!

I have a few family members that I need to fire. Yup, QC Supermom said it! 

After  doing a cost benefit analysis of every person (or group of people) that I interact with on the regular basis.
I sent a note of appreciation to all my friendship soul mates (it made them smile) and then I had to figure out what I was going to do with anyone who fell in the “happiness vampire” category.     Although it’s a Friday Four day, I’ll share these three options:
Fix – If you’ve done your cost benefit analysis and decide that the relationship is worth saving, have an honest conversation with the person in question and bring your non-negotiables to the table. What would it take to turn the relationship around? From this point forward, what behaviors are non-negotiable?
Switch – Maybe there is someone in your life who doesn’t need to be fired but definitely needs to be demoted. Maybe they move from best friend status to loving acquaintance. If the relationship as it stands today isn’t sustainable but you’re not ready to cut all ties, maybe a status shift is in order.
Fire – Chances are, once you’ve taken a good hard look at all of the folks you regularly interact with, you will come across a couple of lost causes. Fire them. (If you shudder at the thought, repeat after me: Your birth certificate is not a binding contract, neither is years already invested, or fear of what people will think.)

The key to firing someone and not feeling like (or acting like) a heartless jerk is to forgive them first. Forgive your mother for drinking too much. Forgive your father for never saying he loves you. Forgive your abusive partner, your overly competitive siblings, and the friend who stabbed you in the back. (ouch!)

Forgive them not because they deserve it but because you do. Fire them not necessarily because of who they are but because of who you are and who you want to be and because you’ve finally realized that those two things cannot go hand in hand. The lessons you teach your children will be worth it!

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” -QC SuperMom

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Wednesday Wow! Our weeklong hotel diet

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Today makes the 3rd day that my family has been living in a hotel, waiting for the home closing. I was at the grocery store today to pick up a few items to take back to the hole. (that’s what I call the hotel room.) The hotel is actually nice. As you know, I’m a BIG chatter. I’ve never met a stranger.  Soooooo in conversation, the produce guy asked me about the Naked Juice that I just placed in my cart.

I told him that I’ve never had the coconut water but I did know that coconut water is good for a BUNCH of things. He told me that it sound pretty good for the price.  Then I told why I had to grab the last 6 packs of it. To my surprise, he told me that he had been living in a hotel for months and have gained more weight than he liked. He asked for tips………..(people actually pay me attention. Imagine that???? 🙂

Anyhoots, I was  happy to give him my best advice for eating well while staying in a limited resource hotel.

First and far most have a diet  plan.   Lists may not excite you like they excite me (I FRIGGIN’ LOVE LISTS), but planning is super important!  Think about what you plan on eating for breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, and snacks for the upcoming week.  What utensils do I have to work with? If you don’t have bowls, don’t buy soup in a can. If you don’t have an oven, don’t buy raw chicken. Luckily I had access to a fridge and a microwave

2. Know your surroundings. Where is the nearest BilO.  (Yeah, you might as well enjoy the benefits of their fuel perks program & save gas while you feed your family)  Wal Mart has been a life saver for our personal hygiene, can’t find and baby related items. Knowing where the library is and free places for the kids to eat helps also!

3. Think outside of the box.  There are SOOOO many thing that you can in the room on a multi purpose need.  Here are a few. Shower rail- dryer, Ironing board and iron- grill cheese sandwich maker,  cups, tooth brush holder, Make your hotel room coffee pot your friend!

It’s not just for coffee anymore!  Pack miso soup packets or stock up on canned beans and/or soups at the local convenience store or market and heat up quick and healthy dinners in the comfort of your hotel room. This way you not only save time and money but you are sure to eat well before running out for a day of adventure.

Ice bucket, don’t chuck it!

Use the ice bucket as a mixing bowl and the ice tongs to toss dressings and sauces into salads, noodles, etc.

We’ve even been able to continue homeschool. There has been no change there.

 

Here are some additional resources:

Just a yummy list of eateries-

Everyone is looking to save a little money these days and with hectic school schedules and extracurricular activities sometimes it’s easier and cheaper ( and healthier- thanks EarthFare) just to take the family out. But taking the family out doesn’t mean you have to spend a fortune. Charlotte has dozens of restaurants that offer free (or very cheap) food for kids on every single night of the week.

Kids eat free in Charlotte

Kids eat free here too

 

These photos are of our dinner at EarthFare South Park and a few snacks from our suite at the hotel.

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House Hunting

One of the best things about moving is that it legitimizes my favorite hobby: Looking at other people’s houses.

This week, I’ve toured quite a number of homes for sale across the Charlotte Mecklenburg area in an attempt to narrow down suburbs and neighborhoods in which we might want to buy. Our budget is very modest and I’m sure that we can find something in this foreclosure ridden housing market. And since my husband is a carpenter by trade and a Veteran………. I know we will. Right now we’re renting.

In Charlotte, most people leave their homes when they are being shown to prospective buyers.

HOWEVER………………………………Image
This afternoon, I toured six houses in TWO neighborhoods. In house #1, a woman was drying her hair in the bathroom. She waved when she saw us and told us to watch out for the piles of underwear on the bedroom floor. Duly noted.

In house #2, a teenage boy was playing catch with his dog in the middle of the living room.

In the front yard outside house # 3, a woman was doing yoga. Inside the house, her college-aged daughter was canoodling on the sofa with her boyfriend under a blanket. We shielded our eyes.

I met all 9 occupants of house # 4. I cannot go there. Let’s just say that we will not be buying that house. 🙂 But it was great to know that all 7 of my kids and the 2 of us could fit comfortably in there.

I liked house #5 the best, at least what I could see of it. Three of the four bedrooms were off limits, as they contained the bodies of sleeping teenagers.  Over 100 family photos hung on the wall, most of which were awkward. “You can peek in this room if you want,” she told us, pointing to one of the closed doors. A knee-deep pile of dirty laundry blocked the actual entrance. “But if someone curses at you for opening the door, don’t blame me.”

We told her we’d come back at a more reasonable hour for a second look if needed. It was 2:15 pm.

On the way out of the house, we noticed that one of the sleeping teenagers had joined the realm of the living. He was sitting at the kitchen table, wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt that had the word “Elkaholic” printed across the back. He was methodically eating his way through a box of cold cereal.

“Hi there,” I said as normally as possible. my girls just giggled. I think Deanna thought he was cute.

The boy belched a reply and reached for the milk, which he drank out of the carton. By the Deanna was pissed off and disgusted.

I wonder if the boy and his mother are included in the purchase price of the home. If so, I’m definitely going to make an offer.In closing, right ow is a great time to buy if you’re ready. I can’t wait to call someplace home sweet home soon!