Disney On Ice,”Follow Your Heart” LIVE review (Zianna O., loved the show)

The last time 9 yr old Zianna was downtown, she was speaking to a room full of people.  She  didn’t intend to make them all cry, but sometimes the truth hurts, but must be spoken. So she did it. Her words transcended through their hearts . Her message was shared internationally. Yes, this little girl had adults checking themselves for racial injustice.

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First thing came to my mind is, “Who are her parents? ” I wanted to hug them. (Really tight.)  Everyone doesn’t take parenting seriously. It was clear that her parents did. I knew that as a mom,  when your child hurts, you hurt. The last thing you want is to have an emotionally scarred child for life.  As adults, we know that every high and low molds us into who we are, for better or for worse. This is most true of when we are young and our brain is rapidly developing. The power of everything from an unheard cry to an unmarked facial expression can have a heavy impact on a child’s evolving psyche.zoz-bmp

Charlotte has a long way to go, but Zianna’s childhood must be protected and thank goodness, over half of Charlotte agrees with that! Including the numerous news stations that have interviewed her and  especially the amazing staff of Time Warner Cable Arena.

So guess what, for 90 minutes, Zianna her brother, mom, and stepdad attended the Disney On Ice, “Follow Your Heart” Live show. Little Zianna was laughing, dancing, moderating the story lines and just being a child. It was indeed what she and her family needed.  Big thanks to Feld Entertainment, Time Warner Cable and her parents for making this happen.

 

To my girl,

I will let you be children. For as long as I can, I will let you be children. I will protect your childhood fiercely. I won’t pressure you to do things you are not ready for. I will let you play, for hours I will let you play. I will let you discover yourselves. I will let you really know yourselves before you are pushed out into the big wide world on your own. I will let you imagine, and dream, and laugh, whenever you want to. I won’t ever wish this magical time away. All too soon you will be all grown up. You will worry about grown up things. But not now. For now you are a child, your job is to play, and that is important to me.

I will protect your childhood.

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The show will be here until the 2nd of October. Regardless of what you feel about the police and Black Lives Movement, remember to protect your child.  Go see Disney On Ice Live “Follow Your Heart” before they leave town. It is absolutely the best thing you can do for your child (ren)

(Buy Your Tickets Here!)

Friday Four: Parenting Kids As The Police Kills Blacks

Do you feel like you are in the Twilight Zone? Are you angry, confused, fearful, hopeless, ready to leave the United States of America? I am.Just yesterday, we celebrated The Fourth Of July; The Declaration Of Independence,  then BAM- today the police goes on a Black Man Purge!

I’ve had to come off my “GOD Box” to put my Facebook Lurkers in check, because they got too bold behind the computer screen. But I knew they were just speaking their truth and  I should really understand the underlying information they were sharing.  I received that they wanted power over us, our children and our livelihood. That, I just can’t allow. And neither should you parents.

I will not live in fear. I will not allow my children to live in fear. I will not rely on anyone for my food (completely) And I will not allow my loved ones to perish either. It’s a great feeling to know it’s not all whites that feel this way. I must add.Because I want my children to continue  to grow their love, appreciation and knowledge of all races.

It is said, “A generation that ignores their history  has no future.” The time is now to wake up and  and be present with our children’s  psychological needs. New sneakers won’t do it. There are four things I need you to do this weekend:

  1. Go plant a garden. Yes, start feeding yourself. As they say, the hand that feeds you -control you. It could soon become a batering tool, and it’s a great way to get in shape and get your mind of all of the brothers and sisters being murdered by the police. Today, my husband took the kids to play tennis and I took them with me this morning to shop for school and college supplies.
  2. Learn 4 “Prepper Strategies”. It’s time to work together. Look out for your neighbor, and protect each other. Be prepared to make sacrifices to help take care of others by learning ways, to build together.As anger increases, so does crime rates. As a parent, your job is to protect your seeds.
  3. Be mindful of what and how you communicate information about police, and other people of authority with your minors. I hate the officers that kill for no reason. I also know helpful officers that strive to keep peace in words and not violence.
  4. Back away from social media. It can be overwhelming and depressing. Moniter what your children are exsposed to also. Instead, celebrate, love, respect more!

Concrete Ways to Be an Actual Ally to Black People

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IF WE ONLY HAD IT this GOOD WITH POLICE OFFICERS—–

One good thing about is that the WORLD is the getting true story of American blacks. So many countries have been on social media connecting with black Americans.They want facts they know they will not get on the news. Thanks to social media, it is out.

 

Cornel West: Social Activist Says President Obama’s Response to Police Shootings Was ‘Weak’

Stay Safe Sound and Aware Good people! QCSM

How to Request Insurance Reimbursement for Doula Services

Continuing from my last post on

Wednesday Wow: Paying Your Doula .

Here’s how to file your paper work to get your doula fees paid.

The fact that their insurance company might reimburse at least some portion of the fee for your services might make you attractive to a group of potential clients who might not have been interested before. Getting reimbursement for doula services requires patience and persistence, but it can be done. If you are going to offer this as a possibility for your clients, you will also need to be willing to offer some guidance and, most likely, a fair amount of support, as they attempt to get reimbursed.

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How to Request Insurance Reimbursement for Doula Services

___     Pay your doula in full.

___     Get an invoice from her which includes the following information:

  1. The doula’s name and address
  2. Her social security number/taxpayer ID number or NPI number
  3. The date and location services were provided
  4. The CPT code for the services provided
  5. A diagnosis code
  6. The doula’s signature

___     Submit the invoice with a claim form to your insurance company.

___     Within four weeks, expect a letter telling you either that

  1. They need more information before they can process your claim.
  2. This is not a covered expense.

___     Ask your Doula to send you the following:

  1. A copy of her certification (if she is certified)
  2. Other credentials or relevant training
  3. A letter detailing her training and experience and what she did for you

___     If possible, ask your obstetrician or midwife for a letter explaining why a doula helped you, was necessary, or saved the insurance company money. (Did you have a high-risk pregnancy? Did the doula’s suggestions appear to prevent complications or help your labor to progress more quickly? Did the doula’s presence decrease your need for expensive pain medications?)

___     Write a letter explaining why you felt the need for a doula and how you believe the doula was beneficial to your health.

___     Submit to your insurance company: the doula’s letter and credentials the letter from the doctor your cover letter

___     If they refuse it, write a letter to Health Services requesting that they review the claim, as you feel it was a cost-cutting measure and they should cover the cost.

___     Follow up by telephone if necessary.

___      If they refuse, write a letter to the CEO explaining why you feel that doula care should be a covered expense. They may not pay your claim, but they will consider it for the future. (Kelli Way, ICCE, CD(DONA) 1998.

 

doula2.jpgNotes:
If you are a doula, I suggest you click over and read the guide to getting a National Provider Number and helping your clients get reimbursed.

Also, here is a pdf from DONA with several FAQ’s on insurance reimbursement

And here’s how to contact me for my birthing services:

The Pink GrassHopper Birth

On Twitter- Doula In Charlotte

FaceBook – Doula In Charlotte

 

Wednesday Wow: Paying Your Doula

 

Would you love to hire a Doula but you honestly can’t afford one? Fear not! Your Health Insurance may cover it!

Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain – your life will never be the same.
– Catherine Jones

So you’re having a baby huh? Congrats! Things are about to be change in a beautiful way! 

Young African American Woman Pregnant isolated on a black backgr

Grab a bowl of oatmeal and relax. I did it 9 times, you’ll be okay.

 

I love being a Charlotte doula. I not only help couples before conception, but I also get to help them  during and after delivery. (Check out my Facebook page)

I love attending births.  I love how it makes me feel.  I love how it makes the mom feel.  I love making a difference in other peoples’ lives.

Charlotte has a great selection of professional doulas, and I am proud to be among some of the best in the business. IF I COULD DO IT FOR FREE I WOULD. But I can’t. Aside from the cost of education, books, workshops, continued education, and advertising (website, cards, brochures), we also take into consideration the time that it takes for all of these as well as out of pocket expenses.

In the grand scheme of things, you’re paying for an invaluable service during your pregnancy, labor, and birth. The difference a doula can make during this time is often priceless. The least that can be done is pay her asking fee.  If you need help with that, look no further than your maternity Insurance. (See My Webpage)

www.http://thepinkgrasshopperbirth.webs.com/

As a doula, one of the first questions I’m asked is, will my HMA pay for your services?  Here’s the short answer:

Expenses paid for a doula who’s primary purpose is for delivery of the infant are reimbursable. Charges where the primary purpose is child care after delivery are not covered. An explanation of the primary purpose should accompany the claim.

The following is a partial list of insurance companies have reimbursed in whole or in part for doula services:
Aetna Healthcare

AltPro
Baylor Health Care System/WEB TPA
Blue Cross/Blue Shield
Blue Cross/ Blue Shield PPO
Cigna
Degussa, a German Chemical Company
Elmcare, LLC, C/O North American Medical Management
Foundation for Medical Care
Fortis Insurance
Glencare Managed Health Inc.
Great-West Life & Annuity Ins. Co.
HNTB (Peoria, IL)
Houston New England Financial, Employee Benefits (Fort Scott, KS)
Humana Employers Health
Lutheran General Physician’s Organization
Maritime Life
Medical Mutual
Oschner HMO, Louisiana
Professional Benefits Administrators
Prudential Healthcare
Qualchoice
Summit Management Services, Inc
Travelers
United HealthCare of Georgia (San Antonio, TX)
United Health POS
Wausau Benefits, Inc

 

Note: I would ask the doula for her NPI (National Provider Number It may or may not be an issue. Find out before hiring her. or it may be coming completely out of your pockets.

~~~~ON NEXT Monday, I’ll tell you the procedure to filing your doula fees~~~~

HSA qualifications vary; including Medicad. For some insurance companies may want you to identify as an out of network licensed healthcare provider and may make it easier to get reimbursement to your clients.  Depends on the insurance company and the state insurance laws.

I tell my clients to get their OBGYN to write them a prescription for me (a doula) One day Blue Cross Blue Shield called me directly just to ask if I was a doula in their network  and I was so proud to say, “Not yet but I am a certified doula .”  (Via my  numerous clients birth records and doula registration receipts) But they didn’t ask for them . So far, getting paid has never been an issue for me. My clients are instructed to submit receipts through their health insurance coverage, not a flex spending.

Feel free to check out my Pintrest board on ‘Pregnancy’. It’s the rated board for doulas! I’m sure you’ll find great information there.

If this hasn’t helped, just go to your HSA . They should have a third party administrator who can answer this for you.

Here are some beautiful quotes on pregnancy. Click here!

Lock It Down Tips & Tricks for a Dreadhead

Call me lazy, cultural or creating mini versions of my husband. We love our locks. To be more specific DREADLOCKS. This love of culture start way before I was here. As I learned dreads are dated from  1887 They have been worn for various reasons in each culture: as an expression of deep religious or spiritual convictions, ethnic pride, and as a political statement.

Today, I’m just share more information on how to grow and care for them. Note: I am NOT an expert. Just a mom that tries to save money and do as much as possible in house. I.E. to save money. Since there’s not too much free information on this topic and we are asked how we do our boys hair on the regular,, I figured I would share what I know.

No matter how you start locking many experts say you must avoid getting the hair wet from 4-6 weeks. Otherwise it will breakdown…and trust me, you don’t want that.

Traditionally, it was believed that in order to create dreadlocks, an individual had to refrain from brushing, combing or cutting. This method created dreadlocks that varied greatly in size, width, shape, length, and texture. Freeform locks are patterned to a degree, as the hair is separated in “chunks” (not parted as with a comb) into fairly determinate sections after washing.

rasA variety of other starter methods have been developed to offer greater control over the general appearance of dreadlocks. Together, these alternative techniques are more commonly referred to as “salon” or “manicured” dreadlocks.[20]

Using beeswax to make dreads can cause problems because it does not wash out, due to the high melting point of natural wax. Because wax is a hydrocarbon, water alone, no matter how hot, will not be able to remove wax.[21]

 

boyss

My sons range from 4 to 24. Just 4 of them have locs.

 

As with the organic and freeform method, the salon methods rely on hair naturally matting over a period of months to gradually form dreadlocks. The difference is in the initial technique by which loose hair is encouraged to form a rope-like shape. Whereas freeform dreadlocks can be created by simply refraining from combing or brushing hair and occasionally separating matted sections, salon dreadlocks use tool techniques to form the basis of the starter, immature set of dreadlocks.

rasta

For African hair types, salon dreadlocks can be formed by evenly sectioning and styling the loose hair into braids, coils, twists, or using a procedure called dread perming specifically used for straight hair. For European, Hispanic, Asian, and Indian hair types, Backcombing and Twist and Rip are some of the more popular methods of achieving starter dreadlocks.

 

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Regardless of hair type or texture and starter method used, dreadlocks require time before they are fully matured. So use light weight oils to condition your scalp and a little gloss if you choose for shine.  Do not use heavy greases, waxes and pomades while the process hair goes through as it develops into matured dreadlocks is continuous.

During this time, don’t let your lock become a magnet for lint. Wear a silk scarf or use a satin pillow case.

There is also the ability to adopt different types of fake dreadlocks that may make the hair look as real as possible. This process is called synthetic dreadlocks. There are two different types of synthetic dreadlocks. The first is dread extensions, in which other hair can be infused with the wearer’s own hair. The second is dreadfalls, in which one dread is tied into another with either elastic or lace. Both of these methods are used to make dreads look better and more appealing.

Need more? Click here!

Okay now, go get loc’d up!

 

Free/Low Cost Dental Work Resources

One of my favorite street vendors and I was talking and somehow we began discussing dental care. I still don’t recall how we got on the subject, but he asked for resources because he wanted his remaining teeth all removed. I knew there were local resources, but couldn’t recall them at that time.

Once I got home I was able to collect this list for him from posting online already. I’m gonna print it and hope he makes good use of it.This list is a gift to any adult in the medical coverage whole as well.  If you are not near any of these locations, just use the keywords and enter your town or county name. Something must come up.

Low Cost and Free Dental clinics in or near Charlotte

1. Dental Hygiene Clinic at CPCC

1335 Elizabeth Avenue  Charlotte, NC – 28204  704-330-6704

Clinic Full Details

Teeth cleaning, fluoride and x-rays. Screening is free; walk-in, first-come first serve; call for screening days and hours. If accepted, $20.00 per visit for appointments.

Clinic Full Details

2. Carolinas Mobile Dentistry

1000 Blythe Blvd  Charlotte, NC – 28203  (704) 355-5317   Clinic Full Details

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  1. Bethesda Health Center 133 Stetson Dr., Charlotte, NC 28262, 704-596-5606
  2. CMC Biddle Point 1801 Rozzelles Ferry Rd. , Charlotte, NC 28208, 704-446-9987
  3. CMC Elizabeth Family Practice 2001 Vail Ave., Charlotte, NC 28207, 704-304-7000
  4. CMC Myers Park 1350 S. Kings Dr., Charlotte, NC 28207, 704-446-1600
  5. CMC NorthPark 251 Eastway Dr., Charlotte, NC 28213, 704-446-9991
  6. C. W. Williams Community Health Center, Inc. 3333 Wilkinson Blvd., Charlotte, NC 28208, 704-393-7720
  7. Cardinal Innovations Healthcare Solutions 1100 S. Tryon St., Charlotte, NC 28203 24-hour Call Center: 1-800-939-5911
  8. Care Ring 601 E 5th St. Ste 140, Charlotte, NC 28202, 704-375-0172
  9. Charlotte Community Health Clinic 8401 Medical Plaza Dr, Charlotte, NC 28262, 704-316-6561 J. Dental Hygiene Clinic at CPCC 1335 Elizabeth Ave., Charlotte, NC 28204, 704-330-6704
  10. Free Clinic of Our Towns Davidson 212 Gamble St., Davidson, NC 28036, 704-896-0471
  11. HeartBright Cardiac Resource Center 2923 South Tryon St. Ste 200, Charlotte, NC 28203, 704-373-3002
  12. Lake Norman Community Health Clinic 14230 Hunters Rd., Huntersville, NC 28078, 704-316-6611
  13. Matthews Free Medical Clinic 196 S. Trade St., Matthews, NC 28105, 704-841-8882
  14. Mecklenburg County Health Department 2845 Beatties Ford Rd., Charlotte, NC 28216, Information 704-336-4700, Appointments: 704-336-6500
  15. Mecklenburg County Health Department 249 Billingsley Rd., Charlotte, NC 28211, Information: 704–336-4700, Appointments: 704-336-6500
  16. Mecklenburg County Health Department Pediatric Dental Clinic 1801 Rozzelles Ferry Rd., Charlotte, NC 28208, 980-314-9600
  17. NC MedAssist 601 E 5th St. Ste 350, Charlotte, NC 28202, 704-536-1790
  18. Shelter Health Services, Inc 534 Spratt St., Charlotte, NC 28206, 704-334-0000
  19. Teen Health Connection 3541 Randolph Rd. Ste 206, Charlotte, NC 28211, 704-381-8336 – Novant Health Mobile Community Care Cruiser Mobile Unit with various locations throughout the County, 704-384-3031

 

3. Gaston Family Health Services Pediatric Dentistry

18 miles away from Charlotte

890 Summit Crossing Place Gastonia, NC – 28054 704-874-0377

Clinic Full Details

Nearby Dental Clinic: 18 miles from Charlotte

Monday – Friday: 8:00 am – 5:00 pm Services: Pediatric Dentistry This facility sees children ages 0-13 and offers Sedation Dentistry. As well, they provide a full range of primarydental services like cleanings, fluoride varnish, fillings, sealants, extractions, pulpotomies (babyroot ca

website    Clinic Full Details

4. The Ada Jenkins Center Free Clinic Of Out Towns

20 miles away from Charlotte

212 Gamble St  Davidson, NC – 28036  (704) 896-0471  Clinic Full Details

Nearby Dental Clinic: 20 miles from Charlotte

The mobile center provides quality dental care to those in need in the north Mecklenburg and south Iredell area. Basic dental services are provided at this center(dental screenings, cleanings, fillings, extractions, oral health education and referrals to specialty services). Volunteer dental profess

website donate

Clinic Full Details

5. Gaston Family Health Services Dental Clinic

21 miles away from Charlotte

991 W. Hudson Blvd.Gastonia, NC – 28052  704-853-5191  Clinic Full Details

Nearby Dental Clinic: 21 miles from Charlotte

Monday – Thursday: 8:00 am – 7:00 pm Friday: 8:00 am – 5:00 pm This facility opened in January 1996, and began treating patients in July 2004. They serve people who have Medicaid, Health Choice, or private insurance as well as those who are uninsured or underinsured and cannot afford fees charge

website

Clinic Full Details

6. York County Free Clinic

22 miles away from Charlotte

410 Oakland Ave  Rock Hill, SC – 29732  803-366-6337 Clinic Full Details

Nearby Dental Clinic: 22 miles from Charlotte

Clinic HoursMonday-Thursday 9:00 am to 5:00 pm(Closed for lunch 12:00 pm to 1:30 pm)Friday (Closed) York County Free Clinic provides compassionate care for qualified patients (age 18-64) by appointment only for free services, including dental care. Visit the website provided for full information

website Clinic Full Details

CARE RING

601 E. Fifth St., Suite 140  Charlotte, North Carolina 28202 Phone number (704) 375-0172

Matthews Health Clinic

113 N. Ames St.  Charlotte, NC 28105 (704) 841-1694

One of the leading place to turn to for help in the greater Charlotte area. A number of basic medical and dental care services are offered, and programs are targeted at the less fortunate and uninsured.

Medical Society, Mecklenburg County – This is a great resource for referrals to government programs and local community clinics as well as social services.

Location of the clinic is 1112 Harding Pl., Suite 200 Charlotte, North Carolina 28204

Carolinas Medical Center (CMC) @ Myers Park

Address – 1350 S. Kings Dr.Charlotte, North Carolina 28207 Phone number – (704) 446-1600

Primary Health-Care of Charlotte, P.A.

Address and phone numbers are 508 Beatties Ford Rd.

Charlotte, NC 28216  Dial – (704) 347-1172

Loving Touch Adult Day/Health Care Center, Inc.

Address of the health center is – 1302 Beatties Ford Rd.

Charlotte, NC 28216  Call the location at (704) 331-0015

Carolinas Medical Center (CMC) @ NorthPark

251 Eastway Dr.  Charlotte, North Carolina 28213  (704) 446-9991

Physicians Reach Out

Location is 601 E. Fifth St., Suite 150  Charlotte, NC 28202   (704) 371-4740

Many volunteer nurses, doctors, dentists, and hygienists provide free health and dental care to the homeless and people who can’t afford to pay medical or hospital bills.

  1. W. Williams Community Health Center @ Wilkinson Blvd.

3333 Wilkinson Blvd. Charlotte, North Carolina 28266

Call (704) 393-7720 to speak to a medical professional and to make an appointment. A charity care program is in place for the poor and uninsured.

Another office of the C. W. Williams Community Health Center is @ Midtown Medical Office

Address – 1918 Randolph Rd., Rm. #670  Charlotte, NC 28207 Main phone number: (704) 393-7720

Greenville Neighborhood Center. – City of Charlotte Neighborhood Development

1330 Spring St. Charlotte, NC 28206  (704) 336-2877

CMC Biddle Point – Health Department

1801 Rozzelles Ferry Rd. Charlotte, NC 28208 Dial the clinic at (704) 350-7300

As the name implies, the clinic focuses on offering dental care. Some services, such as cleanings or check ups, may be provided for free to income qualified families.

Health Department Clinics at Billingsley

Address 249 Billingsley Rd. Charlotte, NC 28211 Dial the Mecklenburg community clinic at (704) 336-4700

Some of the health care that may be available includes pharmaceutical services (as appropriate), out reach, patient education, basic check ups, and immunization and prenatal care.

Presbyterian Healthcare

200 Hawthorne Ln.  Charlotte, North Carolina 28204 Call the center at (704) 384-4000

As you look through this list, I encourage you to contact your local politicians and remind them why expanding Medicaid is important t o you and your loved ones.

Wednesday Wow: I Do’ Too! Solemization

It’s Summer and officially wedding season! If you’re in North or South Carolina, I’m ya girl!

Okay, so what began as a way to bring more money into the home, has grown to something so much more. Yes, I’m creating marriages, but I’m also creating more  ways to be a part of my children life. That really excites me!

It cost me less than $200 and I can use this new asset in all 50 states for the rest of my life. To all my mama friends, readers- you gotta do it!

I’m still getting used to being called Minister Kelle, because I am a southerner, and grew up thinking of ministers sorta differently. But then I thought about it and said to myself, “Girl, you’re more real than a lot of them out there. -Girl You Good!”

So with my ordination, I can do many things.besides solemnize a wedding  I could also:

  1. Perform A Baptism/ Welcome To The World Ceremony

  2.  Preside Over A Funeral

  3. Be A Chaplain

    We can touch the lives of others in a prison or hospital. Sick and dying patients in hospitals around the country have been comforted by our church’s members, and prison officials actively encourage those who are eager to bring religion to others to come to their institutions and rehabilitate their inmates.

  4. Start A Church ( I know right? Wow!)

  5.  Ordain others

    The perfect couple for me would be laid back, spiritual but not too religious, fun loving , don’t have a church home and most times open minded.

For me, it’s important to know the couple and meet them way before they get to the altar.I want to know if couple has any religious or cultural rituals that they want to include. Do they want to break a glass? Jump a broom? Do they want to include any Buddhist poetry? Will there be any readings or songs in the ceremony? Of course I offer counseling, but it’s not required. But I will pray with the couple before the wedding and commit to pray for them all the way to the wedding day.

 And I was thinking, for now, I’ll offer my services to the moms of Queen City Stay At Home Moms at a discount as a member perk. Everyone else $220 for a basic service and rehearsal rate. I really don’t think   I would marry anyone out of the Carolina’s.
Which works out fine based on the research I’ve done already. It is said, that in

North Carolina:   Marriage Officiants:/ordained minister of any faith who is authorized to perform marriages by his church may do so.

In North Carolina, I must return the license in SC….. the couple can once completed,return the license to its office of issuance (usually by mail) within 30 days of the wedding. The license is then recorded by the state and the marriage becomes a legal binding contract.

Marriage in South Carolina is governed by Chapter 1 of Title 20 of South Carolina’s Code of Laws.

SECTION 20-1-20. Persons who may perform marriage ceremony.

Only ministers of the Gospel, Jewish rabbis, officers authorized to administer oaths in this State, and the chief or spiritual leader of a Native American Indian entity recognized by the South Carolina Commission for Minority Affairs pursuant to Section 1-31-40 are authorized to administer a marriage ceremony in this State

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HERE! Cute wedding Script- < HERE> Beautiful Wedding script.   More Wedding Info —-here

Need wedding ceremony scripts? Click here.  Here’s some fair trade companies…..
What to Ask Your Wedding Officiant Here & Here !  My last reading on the industry-here

 

Wednesday Wow-Common Law Sorta Marriage

If you have been living with your boyfriend for at least 7 ears, you just maybe married. Yes. Girl-Married. My boyfriend swore up and down we were married. And no matter how much I insisted that we weren’t he refused to believe me. Which makes me wonder if his parents are actually married, and at ease at the fact that I I was present at the courthouse when we went to apply for our marriage license. Seems as thought the common Law route is a family norm for them, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Are you shacking, co habitating and wondering if you are considered married?  This post will help!

The jurisdictions which still permit common-law marriages are the states of Alabama,Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, South Carolina,Texas, and Utah, and the District of Columbia.  does go a little further by saying that if you live in one of the above states and you “hold yourself out to be married” (by telling the community you are married, calling each other husband and wife, using the same last name, filing joint income tax returns, etc.), you are  the Mrs.! I think I’ll keep my officiating service right here in the beautiful state of NC.

  • Alabama. In this state, the parties must agree to be husband and wife, they must have the mental capacity to enter into and understand such an agreement, and they must consummate the marital relationship.
  • Colorado. In order for a common law marriage to exist in Colorado, the relationship must be proven by the cohabitation of the common law spouses and their reputation for being married.
  • District of Columbia. In the District, a common law marriage is established by the parties’ explicit intent to be married and by their cohabitation.
  • Georgia- (if created before 1/1/97)
  • Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
  • Iowa. A common law marriage is established in Iowa by the parties’ intent and agreement to be married, their continuous cohabitation, and their public declarations that they are husband and wife.
  • Kansas. In Kansas, the man and woman must have the mental capacity to marry, they must agree to be married at the present time, and they must represent to the public that they are married in order for a common law marriage to exist.
  • New Hampshire. This state recognizes common law marriages only upon the death of one of the spouses. In other words, common law marriages are recognized in New Hampshire for inheritance purposes only.
  • Montana. In Montana, the parties must have the capacity to consent to marriage, they must agree to be married, they must cohabitate, and they must have a reputation of being married.
  • Oklahoma. The parties must be competent, agree to enter into a marriage relationship, and cohabitate in order to be considered as having a common law marriage.(for inheritance purposes only)
  • Pennsylvania. A common law marriage is established in Pennsylvania by the exchanging of words between a man and a woman indicating an intent to be married at the present time. (if created before 1/1/05)
  • Rhode Island. In Rhode Island, a common law marriage exists if a man and woman have a serious intent to be married and engage in conduct that leads to a reasonable belief by others in the community that they are married.
  • South Carolina. In this state, if a man and woman intend for others to believe they are married, a common law marriage may be established.
  • Texas. If a man and woman in Texas sign a form provided by the county clerk, agree to be married, cohabitate, and represent to others that they are married, a common law marriage exists.
  • Utah. Utah does not recognize common law marriage, however courts can retroactively approve the marriage of couples without ceremony if the couple is of age and legally able to consent to marriage, have lived together, treated each other as spouses and hold themselves out as married.

If You Live in a State that Does Not Recognize Common Law Marriage

There is no way to form a common law marriage, no matter how long you live with your partner. There is one catch: if you spend time in a state that does recognize common law marriage, “hold yourself out as married,” and then return or move to a state that doesn’t recognize it, you are still married (since states all recognize marriages that occurred in other states). However, this is murky legal territory and I don’t recommend experimenting with it!

 

Now, If you desire a wedding officiant ,  I know this girl…… she is excellent and is registered in the state of North Carolina to perform really cool weddings for the non denominational, unchurch-ed yet spiritual couple. Check out Jabela, the life celebrant !

The common Law divorce- CLICK HERE !

NOTE:Much of the information on this fact sheet comes from an excellent do-it-yourself legal guide called Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples, by attorneys Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner, and Frederick Hertz (2008).

2016-17 Graduation- Family Milestone

I am floating on cloud nine right about now!  By many accounts, I should not be where I am. I should not be married. I shouldn’t have smart children, nor should they be graduating, especially from college! BUT GOD!

This year, I have been honored to have not one, but 4 graduates to celebrate. My husband, my oldest son, and two of my daughters. It was not planned or budgeted. But think goodness for the life style we have. Because of that reason alone we are gonna celebrate in the most grand way possible. After all, how often do you get 4 graduates in one year?

 

My graduates- Raj- Husband- Army Veteran, Central Piedmont Community College/CPCC –  Elementary Education majorIMG_5125-001

My oldest son- Jervon jervon                 Basketball MVP, Hampton University, Hampton VA.  B.S. Liberal Arts

Below is a clip from one of his recent games at Hampton University. Watch here!

 

My 2nd oldest daughter- JC        Working Teen, Hemingway High, College bound- She hasn’t decided what she wants to do as of yet. jcp

My 3rd oldest daughter- DeeDua , teenpernuer,  Providence High School Trade School Paralegal Studies dee

 

I’m so proud of each of them. Each of them were born with obstacles to overcome. From being the child of a single mom to starting life on this side some 4 months early. As they say the tassel was worth the hassle. They made it! Who else is celebrating a graduate? The video below is of a Momsrising friend of mine. She was sharing some motivational tips for my daughter DeeDua. Listen in!

I am so proud of each of my scholars. I know they are prepared for whatever life throws at them. My hope is that the younger one will follow their path and not mine as it relates to student loans. Going to college for free is a blessing. My husband education was sponsored by the Veteran administration. My son attended all four years under a athletic scholarship. My daughters had to search and apply for hundreds of grants and scholarships. The money is out there. You can get some too!

Get FREE Money for college! Click the  image below to see he most current collection.   Find_Scholarship_Money

Friday Four: What NOT To Do To A Teen Mom

The memories! The moment I learned that I was pregnant, I wanted to find the largest container of orange juice and just die under a rock. From the time my little guy was born, I always felt that I had something to prove to him, our supporters,our small town, other teen moms, and myself.

100 Things You Should Never Say to a Teen Mom

Just In Case you cross this bridge, here’s 4 Things You Should Really NOT Do To a Teen Mom:

  1. Shame or Degrade her- This is number one for a reason. OMG! You have no clue how much damage this causes. When your own flesh and blood teases you, make you the family calamity, and under dog. Even worse when the fathers family and her community dishonors her. You are asking for a mess. A broken, lonely, lost mess. It’s like saying “You’ve passed the point of no return.” She may believe it. Speak blessings into her life.
  2. Discourage her- This birth has effected her life as well. Work with her. If you discover an opportunity for her, tell her about it. Babysit while she goes to school, work or appointments. Offer to do the child’s hair, help with a birthday party. Mentor and support her into a mom the baby can be proud of.
  3. Disown the unborn- Most times it’s the fathers family that snarls at a unplanned teenage pregnancy. For some reason, his family thinks the girl wants the family treasures. Well, guess what, sometimes it’s true. At this point. So what? You have the opportunity to  groom another family member to be a part of your family goals. That baby maybe the missing piece of your family vision toward greatness. Don’t kill your blessing. That’s what DNA testing is for.
  4. Expect her to forgive you after you’ve done ALL of the above.-  Something can’t be healed once destroyed. Words do hurt. Somethings you should just keep to yourself if it’s not going to help the situation. That mom may not bring it up, but she will remember. You can not get out what you don’t put in. This includes love, respect, and acknowledgement.

 

 

“Teen parents want to be acknowledged as contributing members of society, not as society’s ailment. Not only are we leaders, activists, business owners, educators and so much more, but we are also raising intelligent and curious children who go on to do great things!”
– Mariely Moronta-Santos, 27, a mom of three who lives in Brooklyn, New York, and became a mother at 16

“I wish society would look at us as mothers.”
– Caitlin Shay, 26, mother of two who lives in Apopka, Florida, and became a mother at 17

I have five more to go before I can claim a total win,but so far so good. It has not been easy. But Oh My, it’s been worth every one of the obstacles and setbacks.

Success IS Indeed the greatest revenge. It is true. I would put my neck on a chopping block to swear by it. As I sit back and think of the upcoming month, I can’t help but smile and try to contain my extreme excitement.  I know it’s nothing but grace and mercy, but My God, the favor that is upon me right now is what I’ve been waiting on. I have FOUR graduates busting caps and gowns this year!  Two of my daughters, my oldest son and my husband.  Can you believe that?

This teen mom, single mom, mother of nine, once displaced*, gal from South Carolina, has 8 remaining- healthy children and every last one of them are thriving! Being a teen mom is not the worst thing to happen. When it happens encourage her to accept the call of motherhood and be the best she can possibly be. That way everyone wins.

I’m so grateful for my parents. I KNOW that I disappointed them. I KNOW that they too were catching slack because of their baby girl getting pregnant as a teen. I know my sisters were tried after the town knew that I was giving up ‘my cookies’. I am sorry everyone. I hope my recent accomplishments say thank, I’m proud of. You’ve done a great job by the children, So glad you didn’t let us down. Because of you I am a doula, wedding officiant, homeschooler, brander ambassador, mom coach, Queen City Stay At Home Moms organizer, social activist, and wife.

Happy Friday,

Kelle

Benefits for Teen Mothers

The best way to help teen moms: treating pregnancy as more than a medical event