Wednesday Wow: Getting Married In N.C.

Getting married in North Carolina? It can be something aggravating. I know first hand. My sisters are still calling me Bridezilla’. As a non-denominational wedding officiant, I wanted to remain relative`, so I asked a few friends what has the hardest part of getting married and each of them responded pretty much the same, “finding a non-denominational wedding officiant”. Turns out, not everyone wants to get married in a church. I didn’t. The other top issues centered around selecting an affordable and compatible officiant. I can help with that.

What should be included:

Many officiants include a get-to-know-you meeting with the couple, followed by two or three planning sessions. Most officiants provide several options for ceremony wording and structure, as well as a choice of readings. On the wedding day, the officiant arrives early, has the witnesses sign the marriage license, and performs the ceremony. Afterward, the officiant mails the marriage license to the county so it can be officially recorded, and mails a copy to the couple.

Why does it cost so much for 20 – 30 minutes of work?
It is completely understandable for couples and their guests to assume officiants earn an unusually high amount of money for simply prompting the couple through their vows and pronouncing them husband and wife, but that is only part of the story the most visible part.

Competent officiants invest time before the wedding gathering the pieces together and ensuring the desired flow of the ceremony is there. Time may be spent helping the couple customize vows, decide between a unity candle or a sand ceremony, and/or writing the opening words, a blessing. Ceremony composition is far more time-consuming than the joyful occasion itself.

Officiants are often present well before the service to calm nerves or confer with a wedding consultant, the photographer, and other wedding vendors. We are usually asked to stay for a portrait after….sometimes waiting for a long receiving line to conclude or family portraits to be taken first.
Officiants in North Carolina are also responsible for ensuring accurate completion of the marriage license and submitting it to the appropriate county clerk recorders office and there are travel and/or postage expenses associated with this responsibility.Wedding officiating is a business with accompanying expenses. Officiants must advertise, maintain home offices, have internet access, make long-distance phone calls and travel to the ceremony among other costs.
Your officiant is a professional every bit as much as your caterer and your photographer.

I would love to share Jabela: Non-denominational marriage officiant and life celebrant with you. I have been marrying couples since 2007! See more about her here—> CLICK HERE! Here’s the Facebook page: CLICK HERE!

Here’s more information:

On-Line Marriage Application Form
On-Line Marriage Application Form Only valid for 10 Days.

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Wednesday Wow: I Do’ Too! Solemization

It’s Summer and officially wedding season! If you’re in North or South Carolina, I’m ya girl!

Okay, so what began as a way to bring more money into the home, has grown to something so much more. Yes, I’m creating marriages, but I’m also creating more  ways to be a part of my children life. That really excites me!

It cost me less than $200 and I can use this new asset in all 50 states for the rest of my life. To all my mama friends, readers- you gotta do it!

I’m still getting used to being called Minister Kelle, because I am a southerner, and grew up thinking of ministers sorta differently. But then I thought about it and said to myself, “Girl, you’re more real than a lot of them out there. -Girl You Good!”

So with my ordination, I can do many things.besides solemnize a wedding  I could also:

1. Perform A Baptism/ Welcome To The World Ceremony

2.  Preside Over A Funeral

3. Be A Chaplain

   We can touch the lives of others in a prison or hospital. Sick and dying patients in hospitals around the country have been comforted by our church’s members, and prison officials actively encourage those who are eager to bring religion to others to come to their institutions and rehabilitate their inmates.

4. Start A Church ( I know right? Wow!)

5.  Ordain others

   The perfect couple for me would be laid back, spiritual but not too religious, fun loving , don’t have a church home and most times open minded.

For me, it’s important to know the couple and meet them way before they get to the altar.I want to know if couple has any religious or cultural rituals that they want to include. Do they want to break a glass? Jump a broom? Do they want to include any Buddhist poetry? Will there be any readings or songs in the ceremony? Of course I offer counseling, but it’s not required. But I will pray with the couple before the wedding and commit to pray for them all the way to the wedding day.

 And I was thinking, for now, I’ll offer my services to the moms of Queen City Stay At Home Moms at a discount as a member perk. Everyone else $220 for a basic service and rehearsal rate. I really don’t think   I would marry anyone out of the Carolina’s.

Which works out fine based on the research I’ve done already. It is said, that in

North Carolina:   Marriage Officiants:/ordained minister of any faith who is authorized to perform marriages by his church may do so.

In North Carolina, I must return the license in SC….. the couple can once completed,return the license to its office of issuance (usually by mail) within 30 days of the wedding. The license is then recorded by the state and the marriage becomes a legal binding contract.

Marriage in South Carolina is governed by Chapter 1 of Title 20 of South Carolina’s Code of Laws.

SECTION 20-1-20. Persons who may perform marriage ceremony.

Only ministers of the Gospel, Jewish rabbis, officers authorized to administer oaths in this State, and the chief or spiritual leader of a Native American Indian entity recognized by the South Carolina Commission for Minority Affairs pursuant to Section 1-31-40 are authorized to administer a marriage ceremony in this State

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HERE! Cute wedding Script- < HERE> Beautiful Wedding script.   More Wedding Info —-here

Need wedding ceremony scripts? Click here.  Here’s some fair trade companies…..
What to Ask Your Wedding Officiant Here & Here !  My last reading on the industry-here

 

Wednesday Wow-Common Law Sorta Marriage

If you have been living with your boyfriend for at least 7 ears, you just maybe married. Yes. Girl-Married. My boyfriend swore up and down we were married. And no matter how much I insisted that we weren’t he refused to believe me. Which makes me wonder if his parents are actually married, and at ease at the fact that I I was present at the courthouse when we went to apply for our marriage license. Seems as thought the common Law route is a family norm for them, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Are you shacking, co habitating and wondering if you are considered married?  This post will help!

The jurisdictions which still permit common-law marriages are the states of Alabama,Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, South Carolina,Texas, and Utah, and the District of Columbia.  does go a little further by saying that if you live in one of the above states and you “hold yourself out to be married” (by telling the community you are married, calling each other husband and wife, using the same last name, filing joint income tax returns, etc.), you are  the Mrs.! I think I’ll keep my officiating service right here in the beautiful state of NC.

• Alabama. In this state, the parties must agree to be husband and wife, they must have the mental capacity to enter into and understand such an agreement, and they must consummate the marital relationship.

• Colorado. In order for a common law marriage to exist in Colorado, the relationship must be proven by the cohabitation of the common law spouses and their reputation for being married.

• District of Columbia. In the District, a common law marriage is established by the parties’ explicit intent to be married and by their cohabitation.
• Georgia- (if created before 1/1/97)
• Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
• Iowa. A common law marriage is established in Iowa by the parties’ intent and agreement to be married, their continuous cohabitation, and their public declarations that they are husband and wife.

• Kansas. In Kansas, the man and woman must have the mental capacity to marry, they must agree to be married at the present time, and they must represent to the public that they are married in order for a common law marriage to exist.

• New Hampshire. This state recognizes common law marriages only upon the death of one of the spouses. In other words, common law marriages are recognized in New Hampshire for inheritance purposes only.

• Montana. In Montana, the parties must have the capacity to consent to marriage, they must agree to be married, they must cohabitate, and they must have a reputation of being married.

• Oklahoma. The parties must be competent, agree to enter into a marriage relationship, and cohabitate in order to be considered as having a common law marriage.(for inheritance purposes only)

• Pennsylvania. A common law marriage is established in Pennsylvania by the exchanging of words between a man and a woman indicating an intent to be married at the present time. (if created before 1/1/05)

• Rhode Island. In Rhode Island, a common law marriage exists if a man and woman have a serious intent to be married and engage in conduct that leads to a reasonable belief by others in the community that they are married.

• South Carolina. In this state, if a man and woman intend for others to believe they are married, a common law marriage may be established.

• Texas. If a man and woman in Texas sign a form provided by the county clerk, agree to be married, cohabitate, and represent to others that they are married, a common law marriage exists.

• Utah. Utah does not recognize common law marriage, however courts can retroactively approve the marriage of couples without ceremony if the couple is of age and legally able to consent to marriage, have lived together, treated each other as spouses and hold themselves out as married.

If You Live in a State that Does Not Recognize Common Law Marriage

There is no way to form a common law marriage, no matter how long you live with your partner. There is one catch: if you spend time in a state that does recognize common law marriage, “hold yourself out as married,” and then return or move to a state that doesn’t recognize it, you are still married (since states all recognize marriages that occurred in other states). However, this is murky legal territory and I don’t recommend experimenting with it!

 

Now, If you desire a wedding officiant ,  I know this girl…… she is excellent and is registered in the state of North Carolina to perform really cool weddings for the non denominational, unchurch-ed yet spiritual couple. Check out Jabela, the life celebrant !

The common Law divorce- CLICK HERE !

NOTE:Much of the information on this fact sheet comes from an excellent do-it-yourself legal guide called Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples, by attorneys Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner, and Frederick Hertz (2008).

The Muslim-African Wedding

If you are ever invited to and African wedding and it says the ceremony will begin at 3pm, show up at 5pm and you may beat the bride and groom there.

Yes, I wore an hijab. See more about Muslim ceremonies here.

Over the weekend I attended a African-Muslim wedding and was honored for the experience. I didn’t know what to expect from an Muslim-African infused ceremony, so I did a little research before attending.

Although many Muslims stage a multiday celebration to mark a wedding, the traditional marriage ritual itself, called a nikah in Arabic, is simple and brief. It generally follows these steps:

At the wedding, which can take place pretty much anywhere, the bride and groom are separated in different rooms. They may or may not be able to see each other, depending on how conservative the families are.

An officiant, who can be any man familiar with Islamic law, heads to each room separately. There he asks the spouses-to-be if they consent to the marriage and if they are marrying of their own free will (a representative called a wali answers the officiant’s questions on the bride’s behalf).

The couple signs the marriage contract or license, with witnesses observing.

The officiant brings the pair together and pronounces them husband and wife.

The first thing I noticed  at the mosque was that the women and men sat separate from each other. Even the engage couple.  There was no wedding party and everything was pleasantly different than anything else I’ve ever seen before.  There was no solos, flowers girls, no bridal party walking in. As a matter of fact the engaged couple was seated for the entire ceremony until the dowry part. They did kiss at the end.

I took my daughter with me. 

Now can we talk about the reception. More importantly the food! It was everything I ever hope for in a African reception. Joloff, spicy meats, crisp salads…..even the drinks were amazing. I loved the African Ginger beer. (Click here for the recipe) 

Ok, ok, ok, I won’t show my love of African food before I give you more details. –The reception included a very lively African dance by a all female group. I didn’t know  one word that was said, but their movement was very much so lovely and graceful!  Now when the families got on the floor, it was a wrap! I took off my shoes and got down with them! They know how to parrrrr-ty!  Line dances, couple dances, man dances…… it was amazing! Little did I know, Mrs Bride is a Delta. One of her sisters gave her the sweetest token of love in song (lip syncing)

As the night progressed I seen first hand why this marriage will work. The families are loving.PURELY LOVING. The husband LOVES his new daughters. The husbands family LOVES their new daughter.AND THE NEW COUPLE adores each other.  I’m so glad I brought my daughter with me.

What I was most impressed with is how they spent their money. Nothing was over the top except for those dresses the bride wore. They were incredibly beautiful. Nothing was lacking. I think they did a great job  on the ceremony. I am so elated to have been a part of it ,and wish them nothing but the very best. Sorry, I haven’t shared any videos or closer photos. I haven’t received permission to release wedding details as of posting date. Once received, I’ll share them on our Facebook page (click here to go there now.)

Here’s more on

The Sweetheart Song by DELTA’s

another tear jerking Sweetheart song by the Deltas

Islamic weddings

African Weddings

African Wedding Food

Liberian Pineapple Ginger Beer

I Will Now Pronounce You Husband & Wife…SELECTING A WEDDING OFFICIANT

Before you say “I do”, do a little homework on who you select to marry you. The right marriage officiant can make a world of difference in your wedding, marriage and entire life.

A religious ceremony, performed by an ordained officiant such as a priest, rabbi, or minister, is recognized not only by the state, but also by the affiliated religion. 

A civil ceremony is performed by an officiant who has been certified in accordance with state laws — a county clerk, justice of the peace, mayor, or celebrant affiliated with a nonreligious organization.

The officiant you choose can enrich your overall wedding experience and help you prepare for married life. Getting to know your officiant and discussing what you can expect from each other will help eliminate unnecessary anxiety on your wedding day.

Planning my wedding was one of the most empowering things I have ever done. I loved everything about it. Our wedding was a love story. I’ve learned that every couple has one. As a recent Universal Unitarian Wedding Officiant I love helping couples share their story. Being a wedding officiant as I’ve learned is much different than planning a wedding.  Learning on the job has been a blast. I’ve put together a few things that should be covered by both the couple to be wed and the officiant. This is kinda large in volume so I broke it up in two blog post. 

 After the date has been confirmed, find out: 

1. What is your main responsibility as an officiant?
2. Can you recommend other wedding vendors?
3. How much interaction can we expect leading up to the wedding? Are you available for questions?
4. What is your biggest challenge when officiating a wedding?
5. What is the funniest or oddest moment in a wedding you celebrated? 
6. What is your wedding officiant attire?
7. What is your rock bottom wish for every couple?
8. Will you be responsible for mailing the license to the state after the ceremony? 
9. Can you do personalized rituals within the ceremony, e.g, Hand Blessing, Rose Ceremony, Unity Candle, or Sand (uniting of your two families) Ceremony? 
10. Do you require any pre-marital counseling or religious class?
11. Do you have a written agreement or contract?
12. Would you like to join us at the reception? 

What are your credentials? 

Ensure that the officiant is licensed or registered to perform a wedding in your state by contacting the city clerk. You can also ask the officiant which seminary he or she was ordained through, then contact that seminary. Years down the road, you wouldn’t want to discover that your marriage is not legal.

How much do you charge?

Know what, exactly, you will be paying for. Talk about deposits and types of payment, as well as cancellation and refund policies. Inquire about fees for traveling out of town, which include transportation costs, hotels and meals, and costs of (commuting) time. The wedding officiant is the person who must fill out the wedding certificate and send it in. 

Here are a few important questions to ask yourselves:

• Do we feel comfortable in the presence of this officiant? Does he or she seem flexible?
• Does he or she seem genuinely interested in us as a couple, and honor our spiritual beliefs?
• Do we intuitively feel we can entrust ourselves to this person for this important and tender part of our wedding?

More great information here- —->CLICK here <—

Looking to get married in the Charlotte are? Click Here for more information on our newest service from QC supermom!

LOVE, Jabela