I Will Now Pronounce You Husband & Wife…SELECTING A WEDDING OFFICIANT

Before you say “I do”, do a little homework on who you select to marry you. The right marriage officiant can make a world of difference in your wedding, marriage and entire life.

A religious ceremony, performed by an ordained officiant such as a priest, rabbi, or minister, is recognized not only by the state, but also by the affiliated religion. 

A civil ceremony is performed by an officiant who has been certified in accordance with state laws — a county clerk, justice of the peace, mayor, or celebrant affiliated with a nonreligious organization.

wedding party in Charlotte

The officiant you choose can enrich your overall wedding experience and help you prepare for married life. Getting to know your officiant and discussing what you can expect from each other will help eliminate unnecessary anxiety on your wedding day.

Planning my wedding was one of the most empowering things I have ever done. I loved everything about it. Our wedding was a love story. I’ve learned that every couple has one. As a recent Universal Unitarian Wedding Officiant I love helping couples share their story. Being a wedding officiant as I’ve learned is much different than planning a wedding.  Learning on the job has been a blast. I’ve put together a few things that should be covered by both the couple to be wed and the officiant. This is kinda large in volume so I broke it up in two blog post. 

wedding cake After the date has been confirmed, find out: 

  1. What is your main responsibility as an officiant?
  2. Can you recommend other wedding vendors?
  3. How much interaction can we expect leading up to the wedding? Are you available for questions?
  4. What is your biggest challenge when officiating a wedding?
  5. What is the funniest or oddest moment in a wedding you celebrated? 
  6. What is your wedding officiant attire?
  7. What is your rock bottom wish for every couple?
  8. Will you be responsible for mailing the license to the state after the ceremony? 
  9. Can you do personalized rituals within the ceremony, e.g, Hand Blessing, Rose Ceremony, Unity Candle, or Sand (uniting of your two families) Ceremony? 
  10. Do you require any pre-marital counseling or religious class?
  11. Do you have a written agreement or contract?
  12. Would you like to join us at the reception? 

What are your credentials? charlotte Marriage offiiant

Ensure that the officiant is licensed or registered to perform a wedding in your state by contacting the city clerk. You can also ask the officiant which seminary he or she was ordained through, then contact that seminary. Years down the road, you wouldn’t want to discover that your marriage is not legal.

How much do you charge?

Know what, exactly, you will be paying for. Talk about deposits and types of payment, as well as cancellation and refund policies. Inquire about fees for traveling out of town, which include transportation costs, hotels and meals, and costs of (commuting) time. The wedding officiant is the person who must fill out the wedding certificate and send it in. Wedding Vendors in Charlotte

Here are a few important questions to ask yourselves:

  • Do we feel comfortable in the presence of this officiant? Does he or she seem flexible?
  • Does he or she seem genuinely interested in us as a couple, and honor our spiritual beliefs?
  • Do we intuitively feel we can entrust ourselves to this person for this important and tender part of our wedding?

More great information here- —->CLICK here <—

Looking to get married in the Charlotte are? Click Here for more information on our newest service from QC supermom!

LOVE, Jabela

Friday Four: Age Appropriate Tragic Conversations with Children

“Stop burning these churches and killing each other over race! This crap is scaring my children.”

I am the wife and mother to NINE children. We have a 4 boys under 9, 3 living teen girls under 17 and one college son in his early 20’s ….. and one 11yr old in heaven. When my daughter transitioned, I questioned God. Then my “Salt OF The Earth” mom left shortly after her and I really had questions for my heavenly father. I’ve always been told that there would be questions made clearer as time proceeded. That has to be true.  I wouldn’t want my mom to see this mess of a world we often see today.

When tragedy happen, there are always at least two different discussions to be had with the children. AFTER we have understood the facts our-self, we try to be as timely and transparent as possible with the children.

http://www.twcnews.com/nc/charlotte/news/2015/06/26/addressing-the-tragedy-in-charleston-to-kids.html

Parents play a valuable role in reducing violence by raising children in safe and loving homes. Here are suggestions that can help. You may not be able to follow each one exactly, but doing what you can will make a difference in your children’s lives. Here’s four strategies to help you guarantee a strong foundation.

1. Make sure your family have a strong sense of self and self defense skills. A mom love your familyasked me in a private message, ”  How can I keep my kids on the straight and narrow when everything around us in living crazy? They see sexuality at school, fighting down the street, their friends are shoplifting…….etc, etc., etc.,”

I suggest Ed, from the Preparedness Consulting Group

 They specialize in Victim Mitigation, Emergency Preparedness Planning, Providing Personal Protection Devices,Pepper Spray, Mace, Stun Guns, Personal Alarms, Security Cameras, Hidden Cameras and Medical Eqpt.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for Everyone! http://www.gbcharlotte.com 704-352-9697

2. Understand when to play poker or walk away. Last year, we had Thea from Gracie Barra Charlotte, to join us a the 5th Total Children’s Wellness Fair to demonstrate various self defense strategies to the children. From Thea and her family based company, the children gained confidence in themselves. While no child should go looking for a fight, I think all children should know some type of self defense.

thea

3. Know what to say to your children and when. You are their first teacher. They are gonna automatically follow your lead. Show them ways to solve problems without violence. In our home, when my  husband and I get frustrated with each other, we will either go to our room away from them or wait until everyone is asleep to continue if it can’t be resolved in front of them.

4. Keep your children aware and secure. In your home, you are the boss. Restrict violence from the tv ( make sure you know what TV shows your children watch) and if necessary outside; may that be neighborhood friends, family (Accompany your children to supervised play activities and watch how they get along with others. Teach your children how to respond appropriately when others use insults or threats or deal with anger by hitting. Explain to your children that these are not appropriate behaviors, and encourage them to avoid other children who behave that way)- and  even the  internet, where any and everything goes. Be sure that they know that they don’t always have to agree to get along.

Be safe & Behave

QC Supermom

Wednesday Wow: Happy,Happy, Joy,Joy!

Wake up Nature, it’s Spring time! I LOVE Spring! I do! It’s so (deep breath here…..) Renewing! It’s like a button in my mind and body that has been reset. Who doesn’t love  SPRING ??

Now just in case you said “I don’t,” let me sell it a bit more. See

orchid

in spring, the trees share bright, new leaves on their delicate branches. The fields grow nutritious goodies and the entire nature says hello by  blooming!  Yes, even the grass kiddos!

Twitter has nothing over the songs the birds will tweet in the trees and bushes, ” joyfully announces: “Spring is here!

I was pregnant with Amen in this picture.

I was pregnant with Amen in this picture.

Ooh the pleasant, cool breeze brings the soft and sweet aroma of fresh outdoor fun with the children. Yes moms, it time to hide the handhelds and get outdoors! What better time to: 

  • Have a lemonade stand (Alex’s charity is good but make it more meaningful. After the sales, treat them & let them buy/make gifts to deliver to the hospital or senior living center.)
  • Enjoy a picnic (a great way to get kids excited about family time!)
  • Play in nature -garden, hike, etc.
  • Buy winter and fall clothes ( As stores make way for their summer clothing, winter clothes can be discounted more than 50%. )
  • Fly a Kite! Here’s a video- or go to this page for directions. It’s easy & I promise that you won’t break a nail.

Ready or not Spring is here! Are you sold on it yet?  I know you are.

Great things Always happen in Spring!

A few girl friends & I will build a seating area like this using wood pallets.

A few girl friends & I will build a seating area like this using wood pallets.

Noah doesn't like the camera.

This was taken at the RunWay For Fashion show at NC Dance Theater. It was Amazing!

Friday Four:Growing hair with food

foodI keep my hair two strand twisted so much I forget to look at it between washes. Then one day after a good washing, my husband walks in the bathroom and says, “girl you put weave in your hair?” It was then that I really looked at my hair and noticed how thick it had gotten. Ya’ll that made my day. Not only that he notice enough to say something, but because it was true. I didn’t buy any tablets for it either, I have been eating better since on the 10 day Clean eating challenge.  I was inspired by Lisa Leeke. ( Don’t know her? Google the name)

Have you ever heard of the saying     “You are what you eat”? Did you know that the foods you eat play a major role in the health of your natural hair? In order to be and look healthy on the outside, you must first be healthy on the inside. Improve the glow of your skin, the strength of your nails, and the shine of your natural hair by improving your diet. I am going to challenge myself  by practicing better eating habits. What can I say, every girl wants to be beautiful. Check out the natural hair diet to give your natural hair a boost. If you can’t imagine eating  them, try making smoothies.

Eat this, to get that:

Natural Hair Power-Food #1: Salmon

Fish, specifically salmon, is loaded with omega 3 fatty acids, which support scalp health. You’ll get a good dose of protein along with B vitamins including B12 and other vitamins and minerals.

Natural Hair Power-Food #2: Olive Oil
Olive oil is loaded with antioxidants. Antioxidants keep your immune system strong, and assists in hair and scalp health.

Natural Hair Power-Food #3: Nuts
Almonds, walnuts, cashews, pecans, and Brazil nuts are a great source of zinc, omega 3 fatty acids, and selenium. A zinc deficiency can cause hair shedding and selenium is a mineral that contributes to the health of your scalp.

Natural Hair Power-Food #4: Edamame (Dry Roasted Soybeans)
Beans and legumes provide protein to promote growth, which is what your hair is made of, as well as, biotin, iron, and zinc. Dry roasted soybeans known as edamame pack a powerful punch and are highest in protein.
simple right

Natural Hair Power-Food #5: Field Greens
Dark green leafy vegetables like collard greens, mustard greens, spinach, Romaine lettuce, kale, are excellent sources of minerals, Vitamin K, C and A, which stimulates hair follicles and helps your body to produce sebum. Sebum is your hair’s natural oil. Dryness is a major contributor to hair breakage.

Natural Hair Power-Food #6: Eggs
Eggs are a great source of protein, sulfur, and B12. They are also a great hair treatment.

Natural Hair Power-Food #7: Carrots
Carrots are loaded with nutrition such as, Vitamin A, B-3 and Vitamin C. They provide complete nutrition for the body. So they’re not only good for the eyes, they’re good for the hair too. Vitamin C is essential to the formation of collagen, which is required to keep your body’s tissues, including your hair, skin, and nails strong.

Natural Hair Power-Food #8: Chicken Breast
Meat is the primary source of protein. Chicken and turkey are the most common types of poultry with considerable amounts of protein, iron, zinc, vitamin B-6 and B12.
foodrink
Natural Hair Power-Food #9: Peanut or Almond Butter
Peanuts, peanut butter, almonds and almond butter are high in Biotin, a B vitamin. Your body make its own biotin and deficiency is rare but a deficiency in biotin can cause hair loss.

Natural Hair Power-Food #10: Whole Grain Pasta
Whole grains, which can include whole grain bread and pasta includes inositol. Inositol is a less common vitamin that promotes healthy hair at the cellular level.

Natural Hair Power-Food Bonus: Avocado
Avocados can benefit natural hair by preventing hair loss, promoting hair growth, and acting as a moisturizer for dry or damaged hair. This power food includes vitamins B and E, which work at the cellular level to protect and strengthen hair and vitamin E which helps repair scalp damage, which can slow or prevent hair growth.

Natural Hair Power-Food Bonus: Papaya
Papaya along with many other fruits such as provide an excellent source of Vitamins A, B, and C. Papayas, an overgrown herb, have more Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and potassium than oranges and apples and they aid in digestion. The papaya fruit is considered a “nutritional masterpiece”.
Give it a try. The first 3 days are the hardest I found.

Till next time, QC Supermom

Going Pink and hanging w/Shirley Jones

It’s very rare that you will find a blogger so humbled that she would have nothing to say. But that was what I was this weekend. I can not believe how God has blessed me over the years to be in the company of such overwhelmingly awesome group people. .

Here’s one of my b’days wishes:

Not everyone in this world is blessed with an understanding, trustworthy, caring and loving friend. That is exactly why I consider myself so incredibly lucky. A very Happy Birthday to you. Have an amazing day.

While Saturday was my birthday, Thursday was the 7year stamp of my 11 year old daughter’s transition from this life.   Over the years I’ve managed to accept her not with us, but this year was different….it hit me rather HARD.

It seemd like everything was just bursting at the seams.  Because I didn’t want my other kids to see me so vulnerable, I kept them busy all day long till my husband got home. After I sneaked away to my quite place…the bath tub. I got in a good 25 minutes in, till reality mashed “unpause”. It was all I needed though. We went out to dinner and everything was back on track.

Never the less,I knew that I had to find something special to do this year for my birthday to balance out “funk spell!”

Most birthdays are the same for me. I use it as a day of reflection and self check like a yearly job review…Boy was last year a dooozie!  NO regrets though. After all. everything that I am,is a direct reflection of my past, and I it’s all good.

So fast forwarding to Saturday. I attended  NDemand’s  The Love Is So Funny tour. It was totally awesome! Charlene Henderson and her team really know how to put on a safe/secure,classy,shindig for real grown folks. I wore heels -can you believe that?

(My 12 & 13 year old daughters took me shopping with their dads/my husbands money & even dressed me- I had to give them a small plug)

There was live music, live entertainment, food,drinks,cozy atmosphere, great hosts,and did I say Soul singing Shirley Jones from the JOnes Girls was there? She was amazing! Her legs, skin, eyes,smile, and dress- wow! What a beautiful and talented woman! She even brought her teenage daughter with her. How cool was that? She was lip singing her moms songs as she sung….well most of them anyway*.

Also there was comedians Doo Doo Brown and Sean Larkin.  The band and singing duo Epic 92 was amazing I wanted to jump up there and burst a note, but I digressed. Anywhoots it was a great break for me and I got the value of “emotional wellness” back in perspective. I got 4 fours alone. No baby, no husband, no social media, not anything. Just me, myself & I! Nice…… Now I’m heading to bed. We gotta be at Monkey Joes early in the morning. I’m wearing my pink wig to support the dissolution of CANCER. Yes, I’ll post pics later! Till next time- QC Supermom

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