There is a poem called “The DASH”. It really puts life into perspective. As a non denominational officiant, I like to use it to help loved ones wrap their minds around the loss of a loved one. And it usually works by helping them realize that everyone has a beginning and ending. Those particular dates can’t be changed or altered. But what really matters and can be controlled is what happens between those two dates. That is our DASH.
This year (2020), on the 17th of January, I lost Kelly Pressley Jr., my dad. When I sit and think for too long, I compare myself to an orphan; but an adult orphan. (I know it makes no sense, but it’s my truth ya’ll) THEN I snap out of it. How selfish am I to even entertain that thought. I had him for 44 good years. He poured into me every single day. He gave all. I gave all. We withheld nothing as father and daughter. My selfish tears were for the fact that my sons would miss out on all the great moments I had with him. My husband, nor his dad is anything like my daddy. I didn’t just get his huge hand, or his name. or wide jaw bone. I also got his strength. My dad is the strongest man I know. He had numerous medical setbacks since 2016, but came back each time fighting harder! Never complaining – ever! Hating to ask for help, he created clever ways of doing his new normal.
When I say that I want my sons to also have that much strength, loyalty, and commitment to family- I mean it. My dad set a great standard. He left us a great ‘Dash’ to follow.
Why else would my oldest son go through so much just to view his body?
Speaking of that strength, on 01, 12, 20 the Sunday after his death, I was honored to eulogize a memorial of a friends- friend. It was very nice. The lady was such an amazing woman. After speaking to her best friend and daughter, I felt like I missed out on my my best friend! She lived an amazing full life! She withheld nothing from her mom, daughter, friends, or self. Her “DASH” was beautiful!