Friday Four: Monkey Joe’s and Eaim’s 7th Birthday

On Sunday, I will have a 20.8 year old, a 15 year old, 14 year old, 13 year old, and 7 year old, 4 year old,3 year old and a 19 month old.

My future 7 year old!

My future 7 year old!

Somehow that doesn’t seem like a lot to me. With Christmas coming up, many are asking already, “Have you started your shopping? What do the kids want this year?” I love replying with “Nothing.They aren’t getting anything for Christmas.

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The reason we don’t buy our children gifts during Christmas is because it’s not their birthday. We serve the community during that time.

We wait for their birthdays to lavish them with celebration, praise and admiration. Yes,birthdays are a big deal in our home!

On candles: Some Germans place a big candle in the center of the cake to symbolize the ‘light of life’ (Corwin, 1986). Others believed that the smoke from fires would take their wishes up to heaven.

Here’s why we do it:

1.Having a birthday is much better than the alternative.

2. Wisdom comes with age. (most times) As you get older, you can appreciate the journey.

3. Opportunity- Aging means you’ve had more time to love, be loved and more opportunities and people to love.

4.Ice cream and birthday cake is still one of the very best things about birthdays, no matter how many you’ve had.

“Many birthday traditions deal with luck. A good luck birthstone, good luck flower, and a good luck color have been assigned to each month of the year.”

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The plan so far:

The party will be in the jungle. Monkey Joes that is!

Monkey Joes has became our mom cave over the years. We have Mr. Nigel coming out to bellow out some of the most fun Sing A Long songs to get the kids jumping, laughing,and dancing. You should swing through for a few jumps!

Over the years, we have had many themed parties for our children. This year, I completely fizzled out. I couldn’t think of anything. After making a call for ideas, my friend suggested a Super Hero Training Camp theme. So we went to a couple of second hand stores and left out with some great things to get us on our way. Can’t wait to see how that turns out.

Why do we celebrate birthdays and when did it begin?

Should We Celebrate Birthdays?

Proud Mom~ QC Supermom

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The Anti-Santa Claus family

It’s the question every parent dreads: Is Santa Claus real? The bombshell can drop at age 6, or 7, or 8, even older, but no matter what the child’s age, it can “mark the end of a certain kind of innocence for the child…..but should it?

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Santa’s message

A man in a red suit coming from the sky, sliding his fat ass down your chimney, while you’re sleeping, placing

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gifts under your Christmas tree, eating your cookies, then managing to slide back up the chimney, getting into a sled and flying off into the sky with reindeer who have glowing red noses may seem like an enchanting story – but it’s crazy.

Think about the image this places in kids minds. “Someone is coming to give me gifts because I behaved.” “I made it on the nice list, so where’s my reward?” “I hope I get what I want.”

If left unchecked, kids are taught that human action is only about personal gain.

We talked about this in my moms  group. One mom said: They should believe for as long as possible. My daughter who is 10 now we had to tell the truth to her at 8 years old and she was really disappointed but a bully was teasing her constantly about her believing in Santa. We sat her down and let her know that the legend of Santa is true as many many years ago a nice old man use to give out toys to the less fortunate and the spirit of giving is still alive in all of us so we as parents continue the spirit of Santa when we give them gifts at Christmas. My family is catholic so we also have the reason we celebrate Christmas is because we are celebrating Jesus’ birth and the three wise-men came to bear gift to Jesus at the stable where he was born. The tradition of gift giving continues today as we celebrate Christ’s Mass ( Christmas). We told her we want her to keep the spirit of Santa alive so if there are smaller kids around she should tell them she still believes so they continue to believe for as long as possible.

Another mom said:  03

We play Santa at our house. We love him and enjoy him and talk about him and sing songs about him. We watch tv shows about him and talk about our gifts from him. We sometimes take our children to see the Santa at the mall and have their pictures taken with him.

But we do not lie about him.

My kids know that Santa is a legend, and they love the legend. It’s fun and (generally) benevolent.

And who doesn’t love presents on Christmas?

I know some parents pretend Santa is real and then let their kids figure out the mystery. I don’t do that because it would involve lying to my children, and lying only for the reason of tricking them so I can watch them think Santa is real. It seems unkind, and runs contrary to my policy of modeling the virtue of honesty for my kids by being honest with them.

There is lots of fun in Santa, and letting kids in on the truth doesn’t make it any less fun for them. The magic of Santa is still there, even if you acknowledge that it is indeed . . . only magic. I thought that was cute, but still way too much for our family.  We told our children at very tender ages. I mean VERY tender. Our 5 year old was told last year, but he got off track when we seen Santa at Imagion downtown. My husband though that he was hearing things. “You sat on whose laps & he said what?

Atheist aren’t much different. The mom in our group told us that they broke the news to their 0610 year old last night as a matter if fact. His answer was “I knew it was you guys, elves don’t build  WII games.”

The best kind of beliefs are the ones that are grounded in reality.

One small way to get started is to tell your kids the truth about Santa. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but it can be.

Growing up my parents never told me that Santa existed and they never told me that he didn’t either. I guess I found out by watching tv or was it a sibling, adult, or classmates, I’m not completely sure.

The problem with Santa.

Letting your kids believe in Santa may seem harmless. But like I said, you want to raise adults who are grounded in reality and it all starts when they’re kids. You have to understand the difference between having an imagination and living in a fantasy world.

Imagination gives you what you need to create wonderful things in the world like art, new technologies, bridges, space ships, books, and endless other things we all enjoy today. That’s what imagination and creativity are all about. Fantasy is a totally different thing.

Fantasy is believing in unicorns, tooth fairies, easter bunnies and santa. If you really want to foster a healthy imagination, maybe you should start exposing your kids to science instead of fairy tales.

You have to ground your kids.

 

How to tell your kids

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First you have to get your mind right about Santa. Get rid of the notion that not believing in Santa will stifle a child’s creativity when they are older. Do you think Einstein believed in Santa? How about Edison? I guess maybe they did because there’s no way they could have come up with the theory of relativity and the light bulb if they didn’t!

  1. The next step is to not pretend or imply with your actions that Santa is real. Don’t leave cookies on the table and don’t tell your kids that if they get on the nice list this year, Santa will leave them a gift. Just treat it like another day which is what it really is.
  2. Wait for them to ask if Santa is real or not. Don’t bring up the conversation on your own. Let their curiosity entice them to ask. Who knows, maybe they’ll never ask. Maybe they don’t even care. But chances are if they ask you, it means they’re probably ready for whatever answer you give them.
  3. If they do happen to ask and you do tell them the truth, then ask them not to mention it to their friends at school. It’s just a courtesy to parents who choose to raise their kids differently. Don’t have them go to the schoolyard and give a sermon about how Santa is the devil.

Till next time, QC Supermom

 

Santa who?

 

 

 

Friday 4: The holidays are coming

It’s that time of the year again folks!

 

Kwanzaa         New Years   

 

and then what  ?????

Everyone is getting ready. Lights, camera, gas and credit card!

Ok, I’ll give it to you, the lights, sounds and smells are lovely. Even the idea of someone else “hooking me up” while we sleep is dreamy. And they say it’s all done while them  crub grabbers are asleep?

Wake up folks! It’s Not gonna happen. (My girls a counting on it, and yet I can’t blame them because my parents christ-messed us -& honestly I enjoyed it)  I just wish it was celebrated for what it was meant to be. A celebration of  Jesus’s controversial birth. (do you know the story? If  not click this link and come visit my church PUMC 5600 the Plaza, this sunday for our holiday performance.)

Anyhoots, till then we’ll pass! (but we will watch the awesome tv specials this entire month.)

My girls are so eager to play catch up with the  christmas fans with our red green and black festive best.   They love

the everyday of the celebration, but that dog gone christmas still gets them worked up. Just in cases you’re wondering why we have excused that holiday altogether, I’ll explain.

  • Its not our kids birthday. (So why laced themas if it is? Our kids are princess and princes on their day. )
  • I refuse to help line the pockets of large corporations that won’t hire yet will cause kids to act in a sense of entitlement.(They are looking for the same thing I’m looking for. I’m gonna spend, and it ill be a conscious decision)
  • It’s just too much work for one little day. I clutter our living space enough with fragile trinkets. No need for the extra stuff, thank you very much!
  • There  real idea of the holiday is not even the enter of  most actions anymore. “John-John wants a mini electronic car this year?” Boy he’ll be mad if I don’t get it!!” -Really parents!?                                                                      I believe that everything that’s important on that one day, can be done in the spirit of which it originated. From love and respect for self and another.  Who should wait till December 20ish to smile at  someone else? Who should wait till then to volunteer, come together, advocate, build, etc? well I’l get off my soap box now. but if you wanna give kawanzaa a try this year, check these links out to find out how your family can participate.   http://officialkwanzaawebsite.org/symbols.shtml

http://theholidayspot.com/kwanzaa/lighting_kinara.htm

This year has been such a year. We’ve managed to stay afloat and realize how blessed and fortunate we’ve been. The uncertainty and misfortune which so many have suffered suggest an even stronger call and reason to celebrate Kwanzaa this year with others. Our goal as a family is that whatever prosperity or recovery we may attain will be predicated on and go through our “family”. So, as a celebration of family and culture, Kwanzaa gives us the framework to deepen our family bonds and attachments, strengthen our resolve to be better men and women, husbands and wives, friends and lovers, and parents and children.

I haven’t gotten my children’s resolutions for 2012 yet, but I’ll share mine with you all.  See below……..

  1. Stay fit spiritually, financially, socially, environmentally,educationally,  nutritionally and physically. See video below………
  2. Grow closer to my loved ones that are  not in the QC.   I do pretty well, I think but there is always room for improvement.
  3. Grow and give more! That could mean plenty of things. But I sum it up like this…little things DROPPING and big thing Popping!  hope that you will stick around to see /join in.

Kwanzaa is a week long celebration held in the United States honoring universal African-American heritage and culture, observed from December 26 to January 1.

New Year   It symbolizes a new start. Because it is a new year, and an opportunity to reflect on the previous year to determine what we will do differently. It is also common that people  try their best to mend their bad habits.

Then what?   Hopefully your growth from the previous 12 months,  will help guide you into a rewarding 2012! While you’re at it, help someone along the way……but don’t be anyone’s fool. Like my girl said on the big Screen “Don’t let anyone make you a cripple!” Have a productive 2012.  I will!