Baba Doula

A few years ago I was surfing on Facebook. I came across a name that really intrigued me. It was a guy named Baba Doula!

He had the sweetest family and the most adorable little girl. So I felt comfortable approaching him. It did help that he was  socially conscious and  knew people in high places…..(and who doesn’t LOVE Ms Erykah She Ill Badu?)

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The name alone made me  search through his profile to learn more about him. I looked through pictures, comments on his timeline , and even his friend list to get a better sense what type of person he was. He checked out to be a really upstanding fella so I befriended him and quickly asked,  “What’s up with that name?  The conversation went like this:

ME: Morning Baba. Are you a doula? Your name is throwing me off.
Free em all! Lol… Allow me to try and explain Sis.
ME: Lol, I’m listening….
Did you see the post on my time line from 17 JAN about jailed father for daughters vaccination?

I didn’t  see it but I quickly went to find it. Some time later,  I engaged him again. This time it was to learn more about his passion for birthing, life and if possible, more about him as a husband.  So he shared: 

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I’m Baba Doula!  My nom de plume, my moniker, which like our child was conceived / created out of love. As you know, Baba means father and Doula is one who serves a woman doing childbirth. I am a husband, and a father to a darling little girl named Tsage. It never even occurred to me the all of the struggles a woman must go through before, during, and after childbirth. When we found out we were with child, I began reading, watching, and educating myself to the point of passing out and having nightmares literally. Prenatal DVDs, cooking fine cuisines, mediation, bonding, Bradley Method childbirth class. It was King Solomon who said, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” Old African birthing wisdom, such as squatting during labor, moving around freely, being able to eat and drink freely, and relaxing has been repackaged into an expensive birthing class. But thankfully, friends of ours donated half the money so we could take it. We also procured a doula to augment my own support during labor. Lastly, we hired a placenta encapsulation specialist to ensure a smooth postpartum transition. And although I am not the one who gives birth, my politics do, and is shaped from the reality by those who did, and those who continue to bring life into this world.
ME: You mentioned ” We have slight generational and culture parenting differences.” Everyone doesn’t agree with me…… But I’m curious…… what do you think is the biggest difference?
Months later I engaged him again. He then shared.
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I grew up in the 80’s and she grew up in the 90’s. James from Good Times was my “TV Dad.” While she had Bill Cosby. It wasn’t frowned upon to spank your child. Ash don’t believe in spanking, she hasn’t seen a House Party film either. So sweeping a broom over your foot, cutting the seat out of old panties, keeping a piece of salt pork on top of the Frigidaire as medicine, sayings like “don’t let the hide go with the tallow”, using a piece of straw broom as a tooth pick, etc. are all foreign to her.

Did you see the post on my time line from 17 JAN about jailed father for daughters vaccination? Yes? That was him 🙂

Baba is all man, but his foundation is reminiscent of mine. It wasn’t long ago that I stood up for all breastfeeding moms in the Charlotte Mecklenburg Public Library. He is the type of person I would send my mommy and daddy friends to when my husband is worn out from responding to parenting and social questions. Well, the good news is I persuaded him to increase his profound presence to the ones that need it the most!

Help me welcome BaBa Doula to QC Supermom!!! We are so happy to have his perspective in our pubic, liberal,  holistic,  community! Let the fun begin!2222

Baba is available for family centered product reviews, daddy consultations and even speaking events! Learn more about this cool cat on our page. Click HERE !

Thrilled from The Windy City to The Queen City,

Jabela

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Friday Four: Not Another Wellness Fair!

This year, we have been to at least 4 community fairs. Each of them were different. Some made me wonder why I even wasted my time, gas and energy attending and other were more like… hmmm this is ok. The kids are having a blast. Well out of the two we attended today, I went to two we attended today, I can honestly say that although it wasn’t the Total Children’s Wellness Fair, they were ok.

I think all fairs should do these four things:

1. Engage- ( fun ways to increase awareness and spark conversation that could foster deeper contemplation and even lifestyle change long after the health fair.  )

2, Educate ( to keep your target market up to date on any and all new resources)

3, Entertain (sure they come for the information, goodies and social opportunities, but nothing bests live entertainment)

4,Empower- ( In my mind, every person should leave a fair thinking of ways to be healthier. After all isn’t that the point of the fair? )

Well, there you have it, my Friday four! What do you expect from a community Fair?

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Friday Four: Order, Order Order in the house!

4 Benefits of Using Routines with Your Kids

We have a large family. For us to function, we must have order. Over time I realized that for me to even think of any morsel of semi private bath time, I needed more structure. Alas…. routines became a must. And when it did, it was like a light switch came on. Now not only do our home run smoother, there’s less melt downs, and more happy time. Here are my four tips for creating and using routines.

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1. Routines eliminate power struggles This activity (brushing teeth, napping, turning off the TV to come to dinner) is just what we do at this time of day. Another example, he may want to go to the playground now, but he can learn that we always go to the playground in the afternoon, and he can look forward to it then. The parent stops being the bad guy, and nagging is greatly reduced.

2. Routines help kids learn to take charge of their own activities. Over time, kids learn to brush their teeth, pack their backpacks, etc., without constant reminders.  Kids love being in charge of themselves. This feeling increases their sense of mastery and competence.  Kids who feel more independent and in charge of themselves have less need to rebel and be oppositional.

4.. Schedules help parents maintain consistency in expectations. If everything is a fight, parents end up settling: more TV, skip brushing teeth for tonight, etc.  With a routine, parents are more likely to stick to healthy expectations for everyone in the family, because that’s just the way we do things in our household.  The result: a family with healthy habits, where everything runs more smoothly!

2 of my daughters hiding from the camera.

2 of my daughters & youngest son 

 

Here are more help with the benefits of providing structure.

Listen to what General Colin Powell says about maintaining structure in young people.

Don’t you just LOVE routines? Till the next regular post, QC Supermom

Wednesday WoW! She’s Here! JC is here!!

Excitement isn’t the word. Humbled isn’t either. Blessed ….”Yes!”,that sounds more like it. After 15 years my daughter is here. Lots of lesson learned and even more to discover during this new chapter in our live. One bit of advice hat I can pass on is to Never -EVER- allow family to help take care of your child. It was wonderful of them  to help me when I needed it the most, but it’s my turn to truly bond with her. She needs to know that she belongs and that I need her as much as she needs me. It has taken me 15 years to get her back. Sure, I had her for breaks  and what not not but it’s not the same. Do I have work to do or what? Lord be with me on this one, but I am so ready to welcome her full time into our home…..OUR HOME…. gosh that sounds good!

JC and her brother Eaim

JC and her brother Eaim

JC and her brother Jervon

JC and her brother Jervon

She doesn’t have to call me mom

I will try my est to keep her in her previous standard of living.

I will help her become who she wants to be as an adult and professional

I promise to share her with her dad, as she is a daddies girl.

I will continue to try to put myself in her shoes when she does something out of our so called norm. Am I missing anything? This is a new dance I’ve never done before. Do I take her to Chuckie Cheese or have a spa night with cucumbers? Oh my, I  love my LARGE family and is so very proud of it!

Till I hear from you, take care, QC Supermom  JC driving

Breastfeeding Awareness And What Else

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Created By QC Supermom

August is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month. Did you know that?

Is BREASTFEEDING AWARENESS ENOUGH?

It’s been a year since the Charlotte NC Library fiasco.( See story here) I remember like it was yesterday. I sat in the library covered and was told to leave my seat to go into a 8×8 box to feed my son. Needless to say, that bird did not fly. Not only did I tell her she had no right to stop me from getting my work done at the library, but she also was violating my right to nurse my child. The nerves right?

Safe Libraries  encourage me to call them out for the suckers they are on NIP.

I choose to feed him in                              dignity!

What was most surprising was the fact the enforcer sent two ladies to me TWICE before confronting me. When she did approach me, she asked me some of the most ignorant questions ever! The way I see it, a less trained mom would have snatched her baby from the boob and threw it back in her shirt, in shame, quicker than you could say peep show.That older African American supervisor had no clue that she was speaking to a empowered advocate of breastfeeding. I’m so happy it was me and I stood my ground. I know that the benefits of nursing my baby out ways any healthy baby parasite. A real change needs to be made. The Health Department here in Charlotte NC has taken great steps to encourage breast feeding, but more progress could easily be made. 

Beautiful Poem called “Embarrassed”  -click it!    'baby's stomach

 

1. Provide more positive mentors. I’ve learned that many young moms refuse to breastfeed because no one ever told them, showed them that it was ok, and that it is better than the most expensive sneakers they could ever put on them. Keep programs like  the WIC BreastFeeding Peer group installed in the community.

2. Better representation – Is it just me or do you appreciate seeing people that look like you …..sometimes? It’s just another way of putting myself in the picture. Some people needs that visual. Mrs. B made the cover of a breastfeeding brochure but she wasn’t smiling. Yes, I looked. Can we see happy, loving married moms, single moms, siblings even moms of various color tandem nursing?

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3. Install Value – Many females have been told their body is for sex only. SEX is a incredible thing, but that’s only half it’s for. Our bodies are a source of life. From our breast, ears, mouths, hearts, womb, eyes, arms, lap, legs and feet.

4. Real support from real moms – Le Lache, The United States Breastfeeding Committee,   U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, they are great information services but fail as sources for interventions and grassroots advocacy. On Face Book, you’ll see hundreds of breastfeeding groups that will jump at protecting, uplifting and spiritually supporting an oppressed nursing mom. Imagine if they were trained. What a sisterhood of force to be reckoned with!

Breastfeeding moms need more than a healthy start. They need progressive long term support long after we give birth. How else would she know how to respond to an NIP

( nursing in public) attacker if no one teaches her?

Even after delivery moms with little support NEED to be told to keep going. It's get better. The colostrum is enough. His tummy is very small right now.

Even after delivery moms with little support NEED to be told to keep going. It’s get better. The colostrum is enough. His tummy is very small right now. 

Watch this rap video….. it’s really good and I even don’t like rap!

Well, time to feed Noah, Take Care- QC Supermom

B R E A S T F E E D

B R E A S T F E E D

Wednesday Wow! It’s Easy To Be A Fool!

It is SO Easy to be a FOOL!

Tuesday morning, my daughters and I were talking about foolishness. I was trying to explain to them that it’s easy to be a fool and that being wise and productive requires more effort. Like many moms, one of my biggest fears for my children is that they will fall in mainstream society and fail to recover.

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My daughters are 13 and 14, so they pretty much know right from wrong, but they are entering that ring pass not “pushing stage.” So, as we rode down the lovely streets of Charlotte, one of them asked why their dad is so hard on them….and Boy did I let them have the answer.

The first thing out my mouth was, “Being a Fool is Easy!” If your dad didn’t love you, he would not be here, or correcting you. His delivery maybe off, but he is valid in what he’s telling you. If you listen, you might learn something. Why be sugar coated? That’s unrealistic. In the real world when you are given watered down responses it weakens you. I want you to be mentally prepared for any challenge, may it be physically, mentally, socially, nutritionally, educationally, environmentally, or spiritually.”

a fool.

Man, I was on a roll.”The point of it all was to get them to see that anything worth having deserves both mental and physical effort. I went on to say chanting,  “It’s -Too- EASY- to – be- a -Fool!  You can literally wake up, and not do a thing to achieve it. I don’t want ya’ll to be a fool so let your skin thicken up and keep it moving.”

I was on a roll. I think I talked the entire way to our destination and back. But it paid off. As soon as we got home, they apologized to their dad and we haven’t had any problems yet. It just goes to show you that a teaching moment an happen at any time. For our children to know, we must take time, over and over again to teach and remind them. It’s not always easy, and you’ll want to quit but don’t sell yourself or them short. Why? It’s Too Easy To Be A  Fool.

Friday Four: I’m a eat clean train mean get lean-Professional

Take a last  look, now say goodbye!

Take a last look, now say goodbye!

I know how to loose weight. I just don’t do well with keeping it off! ( That’s what I always say.”She must’ve been reading my mind!”) What I didn’t know was one of my daughters favorite news reporters was on a no sugar challenge and fitness mission. I read her story and felt like she was reading my mind, heart and soul. Her level of transparency was great. I too love my curves, but I know that I dare not put back on the catsuit I wore 15 years ago. (My daughters use it as a costume now.) I’m so impressed by her. If you love life and is a rooter for the under dog, you will be to!

Here’s what Ms Brigida Mack shared:

If you’ve ever struggled with weight then you know the power it can have over your life.  Power you often feel helpless to change.

There are so many stories of that struggle out there. This is mine.259ea894a17411e29f2e22000a1fb37d_7

Full disclosure: I’ve never been one of those slim women. Even as a teenager, my high school boyfriend endearingly (or so he thought) called me ‘Voluptuous Bri’. The truth is, I’ve always embraced my curves. Didn’t mind being called ‘thick’, ‘bootylicious’ or ‘stacked’. Until those curves started to negatively affect my health. But you wouldn’t know that to look at me. You wouldn’t know the number it did on my self-esteem.

Why, you wonder?

Because I always had this big smile on my face, ‘dressed to the nines’, make up and hair ALWAYS on point (even before my life in TV), in hopes that (somehow) people wouldn’t notice the weight. So I would keep people laughing, winning them over with my ‘big’ personality, trying to compensate for my rapidly expanding waistline. Trying to hide my shame and embarrassment of being overweight. A pain that’s left deep scars and known only to those closest to me.

Did you know I’ve lost the weight before? In 2009, I dropped 50 pounds in six months. I know how to lose it – the key is KEEPING it off.

That’s when my trainer Tracy, challenged me to give up all processed sugar for 90 days.  On the way home from my session that morning, it hit me: you never really win the ‘war on weight.’ It’s a battle you choose to fight every, single day for the rest of your life. Lulled into complacency by my success in 2009, before I knew it I was gravitating more to the vending machine at work and the drive-thru on the way home and, of course, the weight came back –with a vengeance!

People ask me how I can resist the temptation of sugar or how I’ve managed to go without it for so long. All I can tell you is that I got sick and tired of being SICK AND TIRED. I was fed up! Done letting the weight control my life. Done with the excuses. Done with keeping up that (exhausting!) charade.

So — I, an admitted chocoholic, and a gal who’s never met a carb she didn’t like — joined #TeamNOSugar for 90 days.

You can, too. Just decide to do it. Take back your power and walk into the life of your dreams!

So, are you in?profile_177967586_75sq_1363660908

Here are 4 ways to avoid sugar. And yes, I’m doing these also -Chocolate demon -BE GONE! (these are my tips):

1.Get rid of it! If it’s otta sight, it’s outta your mind (most times) Tip: Read labels for hidden sugars & sugar aliases
Hidden sugars: tomato sauce, baked beans, packaged foods, chewing gum, mints, and lunch meats.  Sugar aliases: corn syrup, dextrin, dextrose, fructose, fruit juice concentrate, high-fructose corn syrup, galactose, glucose, honey, hydrogenated starch, invert sugar maltose, lactose, mannitol, maple syrup, molasses, polyols, sorghum, sucrose, sorbitol, and xylitol.

2. Drink more water,chew a stick of gum while exercising-but add fruit, mint tea,or herbs. Exercising helps pretty much everything, from depression to joint health. You can add sugar cravings to that list.

3.  Recruit someone to do it with you. Get another mom to hold you accountable! Make it a team effort. support one another through the tough times.

4.Increase your protein intake.Often our bodies will exhibit cravings for sweets when what they really need is more protein. Consider cleaning out all of the change and single dollar bills in your wallet so you aren’t able to feed the vending machine. Make sure you fill up on gas when someone is with you. Go grocery shopping after a meal, so you don’t load up on unhealthy foods.

Here’s a recipe to get you started- compliments of

jayeellis  

Morning Metabolism 8oz Green tea 1/2 cup Blueberries 1 Lemon 1/2Avocado 1/2 Grapefruit 2 Oranges 1/2 banana 1 tbs flax seeds Peaches & Cream 1 cup frozen peaches 1 tsp cinnamon 2 Dates 8oz Coconut milk 1/2 cup pineapple 1 frozen Banana 1 tbs honey (for my allergies) Carrot Pineapple Cupcake 3 carrots 1 cup pineapple 1 inch ginger 1tbs chia seeds Cinnamon Nutmeg 1 cup water

Friday Four: 4 Reasons to Never Give Up!

Right now is a GREAT time to be upset. It really is…..Why? Becasue The Harlem Globe Trotters are coming to put a smile on your face!

“Hello, Pity Party on isle one!”

I have acolorful love friend that is going through a rough spot right now. I don’t now what it is and may never ask her. But I read her Face Book post (if it’s on Facebook, it the truth -right?) Anyhoots, I figured that she can’t be the only one having a bad day, as sometimes, I too get very ruffled and have to pull myself back into the light. My husband can’t help, nor can the kids. I have to do it myself and in doing so I think it makes me a stronger person.

1. Let The People You Love

And Who Mean The World To You Be Your inspiration, to persist and persevere . Maybe you need to try a different angle, study more or
practice more but don’t give up!

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2.  You don’t want to be known as someone that is weak and gives up. Go Out There
And Prove Yourself  and to the world that you CAN and WILL Achieve what you set out to do.(The only time you fail is when you give up.)

3.There Are People Worse-Off. Right now there
are Many People who are in a worse situation and environment than you are. Are you thinking about giving up running 5 miles a week? Think
about the person who is unable to even walk. You Are So Close. Often when you feel like you want to give up you are so close to making  Huge Breakthrough. affirm

4. Be Realistic. The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is Almost non-existent. Everything Takes Time To Learn And You Will MakE Mistakes. Grow From Them.

Now to my friends defense, she is one of the toughest, well balanced friends I have. I’m sure she’ll be okay. Especially with The Harem Globe Trotters playing this weekend,I know that sadness will be turned upside down. Those guys ROCK!  Have you gotten your tickets yet? Yes? Smart move. Your crew will love it. What a mental vacation ….No?….You still have a chance. Get busy.I’ll even share this offer with you. Don’t miss it. It’s only one show this year!HG_Mom Blog Offer_2013 Get your tickets for this Saturday at the Time Warner Arena! Promotional offer ends TODAY!!!!!

Till the next Pity Party, QC Supermom

Friday Four: Flu Symptoms Be Gone! Natural remedies for little ones.

Seeing my little ones under the weather makes my heart hurt. Especially when they can’t blow their tiny stuffed noses or cough up the mucus buildup that may be rattling in their chest. We try to avoid over the counter drugs as much as possible.Why? Haven’t you been reading those crazy side effects? As for my family and I. We’ll trust mother nature first!

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Let Food Be Thy Medicine!!!!

Season by season we adjust our herb cabinets and juice section in the kitchen.

Our ultimate goal is to maintain a healthy immune system,but sometimes it does get out of whack.When that happens, we go straight into repair mode. Although frequent hand washing is your absolute best defense, check out our top 4 ways to fight cough, fever,sore throat, nasal congestion, and aches. This collection will get your lil one up in no time!

  1. Fresh Ginger Root: Another warming spice that is best consumed fresh (chew pieces of ginger root) but is also effective when made into a tea (peel, grate and steep the root in hot water). Gingerols, the active components in ginger, have anti-inflammatory effects and also ease sore throats. Drink a few cups of ginger tea or chew ginger throughout the day.Coconut oil  is anti-viral, anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory. Consume a few tablespoons a day, preferably with food or melted into warm water or teas. Minimally processed, extra-virgin, Go organic! Or just fast for the day, that works too! soup
  2.  Sip some soup: For generations, caring parents have been serving chicken soup to kids with colds and flu. But was mom right? Possibly. A 2000 study published in the journal Chest showed that chicken soup may help relieve symptoms of upper respiratory tract infections. Or gargle with salt water.
  3. Menthol Steam: 

    Breathing moist air helps loosen the mucus in the nasal passages. Adding a little eucalyptus improves the efforts.and so will a warm bath. I put the smaller ones on my lap face down with a towel over their head toward the water filled basin.

    Please remind your little one to cover her/his mouth during each sneeze....

    Please remind your little one to cover her/his mouth during each sneeze….

  4. For fevers: Undress. sweat glands will be better able to release moisture, which will make your little one feel more comfortable. Strip ém down! Then sponge with tepid water or, better yet, sit  ém in a tub of coolish water (definitely not ice cold water, which can induce shock) for half an hour. If you put a feverish child in a tub or sink of water, be sure to hold the child. Don’t apply an alcohol rub, because it can be absorbed into the skin and cause alcohol poisoning.
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Mom, you CAN heal your child with out drugs…..If it doesn’t work, the drugs will always be there!

I hope these tips help. Till the next sneeze, take care,  QC SuperMom

Wednesday Wow-StoryTime Yoga for preschoolers

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“Five sun salutations a day will go a yogi-long way!”  I teach them. If they were younger, I’d set a little tune to it, (and I do anyway, just for fun and myself! Because I like to sing!!)

I love the look on my kids face when I say time to go to Yoga class! I attended yoga classes years ago at the YMCA and knew it would do wonders for my sons. As they are 3 of the most busiest fellas I know. It’s been said that yoga is responsible for stress reduction, mind- body connection,and physical strength.

This morning my boys enjoyed another session of Story Time Yoga.

Their bodies are powerful tools,used  in experiencing the world. When they are encouraged to experience somatically the heroic journey for themselves through reenacting a story, greater self-awareness occurs. It wakes them up from the inside and it is amazing to watch!

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I read that more practitioners and more parents are becoming aware of the benefits of yoga and seeing their kids can benefit too,”The things that benefit an adult will also benefit a child.

What to Bring/Wear to Yoga:    Dress for movement.  Tights are not recommended.

In Story time Yoga class, the kids participate in an interactive mind/body storytelling session,the instructor uses props, oral storytelling skills and various yoga, breathing and relaxation techniques to ensure that each child is enraptured and engaged with the 45 minute session.  Within 15, 30 or 60 minutes of a session, children are  more calm, more attentive and more in tune with their bodies and surroundings. They learn new vocabulary, get a sample of different cultures, learn words from different languages, spark their creativity and imagination, and spend time interacting with others in a safe community environment. The result is healthier minds and bodies, and more joyful and peaceful children We can’t wait till our next class.

Since I discovered that any story can be used to teach yoga to children as long as it’s a  little silly and playful, I may practice it in the house till then.

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If there are no children’s yoga programs in your area, your kids can still benefit from the practice. “There’s great resources online and through books and even DVDs”.

Try Yoga with your lil one(s) today-use this!

To see more pictures from today’s story time yoga, click here!

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Get fun coloring pages related to kids yoga

Till next time,  Namaste!                  QC SuperMom

 

Oh yeah, to win those Disney On Ice:Dragon tickets, follow these instructions:

1. Leave an answer here. Answer this- Have you/your children ever tried yoga? If so what is your favorite pose?

2. Post a picture of you in a yoga pose on https://www.facebook.com/TheQCSupermom.

3. Tell me you want those ticket at https://twitter.com/QCSuperMOM