Friday Four: Keep your hands to yourself John

Edited version: Since the story is so fresh, it makes sense to respect the victims family/loved ones request for space, peace and time to mourn a great loss. 

July 6, 2012 he's sooo much more then the father of my daughter , he's more like my best friend , my comforter , my rod and my other half . regardless of what life throws at us , the bond that we share is unbreakable , i love my boyfriend and without a doubt i know he loves me backkk !!

July 6, 2012
he’s sooo much more then the father of my daughter , he’s more like my best friend , my comforter , my rod and my other half . regardless of what life throws at us , the bond that we share is unbreakable , i love my boyfriend and without a doubt i know he loves me backkk !!

It’s 4:07 am, and I can’t sleep. I have sorrow in my heart for a stranger, a young mom that I have never met.

I picked up a story about a young mom, that was found lifeless in her own home. With further research I learned that it was her own child’s daddy. According to victims Facebook page, she and Scott had been in a relationship and have a 3-year-old daughter together.  – Myrtle Beach Online.

 They say it’s a thin line between love and hate, so my question is: “What drives a person to killing their own child’s mother?” How can someone be that angry, heartless and confused? What didn’t he get when she said goodbye to him and choose herself?  

This mom reminded me of who I could have been. In terms of a teen mom from a small town. The tributes on her page was all across the board. Funny, sweet, angry, confusion, celebration; even from the victim herself. By just reading her timeline, it’s clear to see that she was not only a beautiful scholar, but an excellent mother, sister and friend. I have shared some of the most significant mentions on her time line here. 

One comment read-

Psalm 30:5 “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
 
 “He states that is when he and the victim started to argue. He said that she stated something like ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore’ or ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and that is when everything changed,” the warrant states. “He said whatever she said struck a nerve in him and he lost it. He stated that she pushed him or smushed his face (pushing his face) and he doesn’t know what happen after that. He states that he lost it and blacked out. He said that when he came to he heard his daughter saying ‘daddy’ from the car.” – My Horry News
 
eboni and
 “Victim said:
Thanks honey, we proving everybody who thought we wouldn’t made it wrong !” 
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This is sad  don’t know you at all “victim”, but sweetie when I saw your situation all over Facebook, my eyes were full of tears & my heart was so heavy of emotions as a Mother, because I can’t even imagine the pain of what your daughter is going through when she realizes that her closest friend, her provider, the first love of her life HER MOTHER is not here to give anymore. I pray for that child because NO ONE should have to bury their mom especially at such a young age. My heart, soul, emotions & deepest condolences goes out to your precious little one & your family & closest friends. May you rest I’m peace!!!

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Victim:

– in the words of my pastor, “church hurt is the worst hurt , that’s why so many people walk away from the church ; the church suppose to be about loving and not judgement !”    
 
A woman told police that her son, John Scott, had called her and told her that he thought he killed his girlfriend.- Carolina Live
ebon
 
 
 Here is my advice for parents when discussing Domestic Violence with their child: 

1. Never make them choose. The last thing you want to do is make your child prove she /he loves her/his mate. Some kids do things just to piss us parents off. If a guy/girl is getting sexed, it’s even harder to pull them apart.

2. Become a detective. Read what your child puts on social media. You can learn a lot by just investigating time in and with your children.

3. Always speak up! Then take action. Be very clear about what happens to both the victim and the abuser. After all it will effect more than them. For example, the morgue, hospital, children, parents, friends, family, employment status, etc.

4. Show your child a healthy relationship, even if you must show them via other family members, friends, and books.

In closing, parents, teach your child(ren) to walk away from anything that does not make them better. It’s not worth it. If YOU are having an domestic issue, leave- get help, Otherwise you are telling your child that it’s ok to stay. There were so many things that went wrong here, way too many to mention in one post. Life is too short for needing to prove that you are loved, needed and amazing, (when you already are.)  Finding that type of love starts from within. I wish each of you peace and understanding on your journey.

Love yourself enough to walk away, and once you are away get some self defense classes and mace.

QC Supermom

 

Here’s “John’s” story: