Friday Four: 4 Things Not to do or say to a Mom in Labor- EVER!

This song by Katy Perry helped my last birthing mom through her labor pains.

This song by Katy Perry helped my last birthing mom through her labor pains.

Last week impressed me. Not in a good way either. I seen first hand why a solid support system is a must for a successful labor and delivery.  What I did like about the entire situation is my daughters learned a few lessons as well.

The birthing process puts mom in a critical position. As a young girl, my mom always said it’s like having one foot in the grave and one on land. I seen the wrong support end in a infection for mom and baby last week and hope that I will never see anything like that again.

This is for ANYONE that has anything to do with a laboring mom. Please read and follow these simple suggestions.

1. Don’t say “Goodie, see I told you it would hurt”  or “Stop yelling!” Yes, the teens mom said this to her. I don’t want my daughters on the laboring  bed either (as I was at 17 years old) but I would never say such cruel things to her. Life will be challenging enough. Instead say some thing to encourage her like, “You’re doing a great job” or “you’re laboring beautifully.” statements like that can make her feel confident when she doesn’t and also prevents the staff from saying things like “She looks tired.  Do you want an epidural?”

2. Don’t take pictures of her with her hair all over the place unless she’s okay with that type of stuff. Even then, I’m sure the baby does not want to see mom looking a hot mess. At least put one of those hospital caps on and rub her lips with Shea butter. She’ll love you for it.

3. Give her sips of water after every contraction in hard labor-
Have a cup or bottle ready, full of her favorite labor drink, (water, herbal tea, coconut water) with a bendable straw. This will help her labor efficiently. It will not only give her energy but helps keep her hydrated. So just do it.

4. “‘You can’t push yet.” (Doesn’t that just sound crazy to you?)  My nurse asked me to wait while the call the doctor from the cafe three floors down. My girlfriend, and the nurse delivered that son of mine.  There is no such thing as “Hold it!”

Rules-for-talking-to-a-laboring-woman

I should have added more than 4 on this topic. Maybe I’ll add more later. I’ll end with this bonus tip:Hire a Doula!  Think of us as a helper for YOU too-  This is a person who can remind you what you know, can spell you if you need to pee or eat an energy bar, and who can be supportive for everybody involved.  This isn’t something that everybody wants or needs- but if it is something she wants- it will benefit you too.

The birth experience is important for the whole family.  Mom, however is the one who will be giving birth. Make it pleasant and think of what you want in the end…. a happy, healthy, baby!

Here are just a few more resources: boot camp

More tips

Jabela, The Doula 

My 5th Doula Baby is here!

My daughter texts and say,”Mom, please come do your doula thing. I’ll pay you.” Now, how can I say no to an offer like that? So off I went. When I walked in the laboring mom was not alone. She had a her mom, boyfriend, little brother, and dad there,doula her Shawnte so obviously I didn’t know how I would fit in, but very soon, I seen the need.  This teen parents had so much on their mind. Missed working hours, their own major medical appointments, and feeding their own younger children. I sensed quickly that although they were physically there with Shawnte’, they we’re not mentally. That’s why my daughter asked me to come.

Me giving a pain relieving massage.

Me giving a pain relieving massage.

As I entered the door, I sprung into work. after saying hello to everyone, I asked mom to be how she was feeling and gave her, her very 1st gift, a much needed massage. While doing so, I asked her if she knew what was about to happen. How her body would open up a like a lotus flower. I also asked her what did she know about labor and delivery. To my surprise that she knew nothing ,so I filled her in with a clear conversation and pictures between labor pains.

That conversations seemed to relax her a lot, so then we started to discuss other birthing things. When it seemed like she was getting uncomfortable, I started reciting labor affirmations to her. With her being  teen, AND having so many people in the room, she couldn’t really focus on what I was saying so I tried something else….. The birthing ball and Youtube! This warrior was smiling, and singing Katy Perry’s “Hear Me Roar.”

Cervical Dilation

 

 

After cries, scratches, moaning, even more questions, and 30+ hours later Destyn arrived via C Section. No, it wasn’t our plan, but he’s here, healthy and well loved. Mama  deserves a recovery smoothie, Post recovery smoothie by Jabela The Doulaand I earned one on one time with my newest love! All hail Prince Destn!! And yes, my daughter will pay her bill, in spite of the fact, that I loved the job.:)  Whoose next?

Newborn Blessing and birth announcement

Friday 4: He’s Here! Noah EloHim

Righteous one

Missed me?????  That fella above is the reason I haven’t been around last week or this week.  Between my 8th grader graduation and his arrival  this week got me  so swamped.  You wouldn’t believe it!

1. Have BTL  papers will clip, burn and scar!  Believe it or not the process is overwhelming! Watch the video -here. I asked to see mine after the procedure.  I did shiver a bit, but wanted to get back to my room because my sisters drove up from SC to see  our families newest edition.

2. Epidurals are your friend ! I’ve had 8 deliveries before this one. I have NEVER had any labor drugs other than Pitocin. (it’s used to get labor going for an induction)  I sat for weeks dilated over 3 cms, then 5 cm, then 7. Once the “real labor PAINS” kicked in….I threw up my red flag. Bring on the needle! Wanna see what happens?  I had my 19 yr old in there with me the entire time! After I got mine done, I coughed once and my son came rushing out to meet everyone!

3. What the heck was I thinking, allowing my husband to bring the other kids in my hospital room for that many hours? It’s like bringing my a raw egg to a  beach party. Why Kelle WHY????? Now what I should’ve done was just say NO and really enjoyed everything they offered! 

4.  Why haven’t my milk come in yet? I’m competing with Enfamil now? I have nursed 5 babies before him and never had this problem. As I watched the nurse feed my flesh and blood lab milk, I cried inside….Well not really. I figured that my ego will be checked at the nurses station But REALLY, why now? I got the answers here.

My Prayer to Noah:

Prayer:
May God grant you peace
in the midst of a storm
May God give you strength even
when youre forlorn
May you answer the door when
Jesus comes knocking
May wisdom guide you when
your mouth is talkin
May discretion protect you
and keep you pure
May you never stumble
or fall for a lure
May your heart remain humble
to the very end
May uprightness and truth
be what you defend
May the world not ensnare
or change who you are
May the light that’s within you
shine like the stars
May angels surround you
body, spirit, mind
May favor and peace be yours to find
May rejection and pain
never reach you
May your spirit grow bold
for what youre called to-

-QC SuperMom