Wednesday WoW! She’s Here! JC is here!!

Excitement isn’t the word. Humbled isn’t either. Blessed ….”Yes!”,that sounds more like it. After 15 years my daughter is here. Lots of lesson learned and even more to discover during this new chapter in our live. One bit of advice hat I can pass on is to Never -EVER- allow family to help take care of your child. It was wonderful of them  to help me when I needed it the most, but it’s my turn to truly bond with her. She needs to know that she belongs and that I need her as much as she needs me. It has taken me 15 years to get her back. Sure, I had her for breaks  and what not not but it’s not the same. Do I have work to do or what? Lord be with me on this one, but I am so ready to welcome her full time into our home…..OUR HOME…. gosh that sounds good!

JC and her brother Eaim

JC and her brother Eaim

JC and her brother Jervon

JC and her brother Jervon

She doesn’t have to call me mom

I will try my est to keep her in her previous standard of living.

I will help her become who she wants to be as an adult and professional

I promise to share her with her dad, as she is a daddies girl.

I will continue to try to put myself in her shoes when she does something out of our so called norm. Am I missing anything? This is a new dance I’ve never done before. Do I take her to Chuckie Cheese or have a spa night with cucumbers? Oh my, I  love my LARGE family and is so very proud of it!

Till I hear from you, take care, QC Supermom  JC driving

Breastfeeding Awareness And What Else

Breastfeeding.article1

Created By QC Supermom

August is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month. Did you know that?

Is BREASTFEEDING AWARENESS ENOUGH?

It’s been a year since the Charlotte NC Library fiasco.( See story here) I remember like it was yesterday. I sat in the library covered and was told to leave my seat to go into a 8×8 box to feed my son. Needless to say, that bird did not fly. Not only did I tell her she had no right to stop me from getting my work done at the library, but she also was violating my right to nurse my child. The nerves right?

Safe Libraries  encourage me to call them out for the suckers they are on NIP.

I choose to feed him in                              dignity!

What was most surprising was the fact the enforcer sent two ladies to me TWICE before confronting me. When she did approach me, she asked me some of the most ignorant questions ever! The way I see it, a less trained mom would have snatched her baby from the boob and threw it back in her shirt, in shame, quicker than you could say peep show.That older African American supervisor had no clue that she was speaking to a empowered advocate of breastfeeding. I’m so happy it was me and I stood my ground. I know that the benefits of nursing my baby out ways any healthy baby parasite. A real change needs to be made. The Health Department here in Charlotte NC has taken great steps to encourage breast feeding, but more progress could easily be made. 

Beautiful Poem called “Embarrassed”  -click it!    'baby's stomach

 

1. Provide more positive mentors. I’ve learned that many young moms refuse to breastfeed because no one ever told them, showed them that it was ok, and that it is better than the most expensive sneakers they could ever put on them. Keep programs like  the WIC BreastFeeding Peer group installed in the community.

2. Better representation – Is it just me or do you appreciate seeing people that look like you …..sometimes? It’s just another way of putting myself in the picture. Some people needs that visual. Mrs. B made the cover of a breastfeeding brochure but she wasn’t smiling. Yes, I looked. Can we see happy, loving married moms, single moms, siblings even moms of various color tandem nursing?

S.C. BreastfeedingCard

3. Install Value – Many females have been told their body is for sex only. SEX is a incredible thing, but that’s only half it’s for. Our bodies are a source of life. From our breast, ears, mouths, hearts, womb, eyes, arms, lap, legs and feet.

4. Real support from real moms – Le Lache, The United States Breastfeeding Committee,   U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, they are great information services but fail as sources for interventions and grassroots advocacy. On Face Book, you’ll see hundreds of breastfeeding groups that will jump at protecting, uplifting and spiritually supporting an oppressed nursing mom. Imagine if they were trained. What a sisterhood of force to be reckoned with!

Breastfeeding moms need more than a healthy start. They need progressive long term support long after we give birth. How else would she know how to respond to an NIP

( nursing in public) attacker if no one teaches her?

Even after delivery moms with little support NEED to be told to keep going. It's get better. The colostrum is enough. His tummy is very small right now.

Even after delivery moms with little support NEED to be told to keep going. It’s get better. The colostrum is enough. His tummy is very small right now. 

Watch this rap video….. it’s really good and I even don’t like rap!

Well, time to feed Noah, Take Care- QC Supermom

B R E A S T F E E D

B R E A S T F E E D

Wednesday Wow! It’s Easy To Be A Fool!

It is SO Easy to be a FOOL!

Tuesday morning, my daughters and I were talking about foolishness. I was trying to explain to them that it’s easy to be a fool and that being wise and productive requires more effort. Like many moms, one of my biggest fears for my children is that they will fall in mainstream society and fail to recover.

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My daughters are 13 and 14, so they pretty much know right from wrong, but they are entering that ring pass not “pushing stage.” So, as we rode down the lovely streets of Charlotte, one of them asked why their dad is so hard on them….and Boy did I let them have the answer.

The first thing out my mouth was, “Being a Fool is Easy!” If your dad didn’t love you, he would not be here, or correcting you. His delivery maybe off, but he is valid in what he’s telling you. If you listen, you might learn something. Why be sugar coated? That’s unrealistic. In the real world when you are given watered down responses it weakens you. I want you to be mentally prepared for any challenge, may it be physically, mentally, socially, nutritionally, educationally, environmentally, or spiritually.”

a fool.

Man, I was on a roll.”The point of it all was to get them to see that anything worth having deserves both mental and physical effort. I went on to say chanting,  “It’s -Too- EASY- to – be- a -Fool!  You can literally wake up, and not do a thing to achieve it. I don’t want ya’ll to be a fool so let your skin thicken up and keep it moving.”

I was on a roll. I think I talked the entire way to our destination and back. But it paid off. As soon as we got home, they apologized to their dad and we haven’t had any problems yet. It just goes to show you that a teaching moment an happen at any time. For our children to know, we must take time, over and over again to teach and remind them. It’s not always easy, and you’ll want to quit but don’t sell yourself or them short. Why? It’s Too Easy To Be A  Fool.

Affirmations, mind candy for moms

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Real healing comes from within… Loving the self brings about healing on all levels and in all things.

Sometimes it’s just what the doctor ordered to get my head together. I’m telling you, words are powerful! I’ve noticed that my day does go better when I proceed into it purposely. I’ve had days that go well, then all out of the blue something knocks me off my mental game. Yes it does happen. But when I start my day, claiming peace, understanding and patience, it all works out. I’m more solid and open to anything that may arise.

Affirmations are positive, specific statements that help you to overcome self-sabotaging, negative thoughts. They help you visualize, and believe in, what you’re affirming to yourself,  helping you to make positive changes to your life and career.

While there’s limited research into the effectiveness of using affirmations in a general setting, there is evidence that the use of positive affirmations can successfully treat people with low self-esteem, depression, and other mental health conditions.

1I repeat affirmations! If you aren’t using them, try it, just once. My daughter are going through a stage where they argue ALOT between the two of them. I don’t want to hear that. So this week I had them find affirmation of their own to read in the morning. They came up with some good ones. Sure, I don’t expect changes over night, but I know that they a on the right path. I’ll keep you updated.
This week try these brain treats:

* There’s a Solution to every problem.

* I deeply love, accept and respect myself

*What is looks like and what it is are two different things. I am bigger than this.

* I make decisions that benefit my health, my relationships, and my recovery. I am in charge of my life. I choose for it to be a happy and healthy one.

*Today I treat my body with dignity and respect.

*Today is a new opportunity for hope, health, and happiness. I am hopeful. I attract happiness in all that I do. I radiate health. Every choice I make enhances my life.

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Did you find one you can relate with? Yes? Then gone and get the affirming!

Don’t Do Drugs? But they offered mom!

I am so heated as I type this.wed

I just found out my child was offered weed, Mary Jane, Spice, K12, blunt, bud, pot, spliff- what ever you want to call it, by a very close family member. Now, what should I do? My husband says that I am blowing it out of proportion. I think NOT!  This is my child we talking about!

What really made me furious is the fact that I thought she knew how to say “Heck No”! We see teens that “live that rebellious lifestyle” and I assume that she conceptualizes it, (as I have) as a troubled teen that needs an outlet. But it would never be her because we are always doing something positive. BUT I guess I missed something.

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I am logical enough to know that it’s the thing now among kids, but for a brain as young as hers. I can’t  see how it won’t cause ill effects. So I did a little research for support. I wanted to validated my ill feelings on why young teens should not smoke weed. I found one.

Specifically, Duke University linked smoking weed to lower IQ. The study followed more than 1,000 people over several decades and recorded their marijuana use and IQ. Those who smoked regularly and who’d begun in adolescence had an average drop of eight IQ points by their 30s. “It does impact brain function and reduces one’s intellect. It has a tremendous impact on decision-making,” Dean says. People are not as apt to make good, positive decisions under the influence of marijuana.”

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Putting her in a drug awareness program is sounding like the route to go for me! After a little more research I found this it seems to be helpful as well.

Parents and Prevention
Talking with your child when they are in elementary or middle school in an honest and open way can prevent drug use in the future.

(many of these tips I have tried, so my guess is that peer pressure is powerful than I thought! But do try them)

The following are tips on for how to discuss marijuana with your child:

  • Ask what he/she has heard about using marijuana. Listen carefully, pay attention, and do not interrupt. Avoid making negative or angry comments.
  • Offer your child facts about the risks and consequences of smoking marijuana
  • Ask your child to give examples of the effects of marijuana. This will help you make sure that your child understands what you talked about.
  • If you choose to talk to your child about your own experiences with drugs, be honest about your reasons, be careful not to glamorize marijuana or other drugs, and discuss the negative things and dangers that resulted from you or your friends’ drug use

weeeeee

Teenage girl suffered strokes, brain damage after smoking synthetic marijuana

Sometimes parents may suspect that their child is already using marijuana. The following are common signs of marijuana use:

  • Dizziness
  • Acting silly for no reason
  • Being hungry and eating more than usual
  • Red eyes or use of eye drops
  • Increased irritability or grumpiness
  • Reduced motivation and lack of interest in usual activities
  • Trouble remembering things that just happened
  • A smell on clothes, or the use of incense or other deodorizers
  • Owning clothing, posters, or jewelry encouraging drug use
  • Having pipes or rolling papers
  • Stealing money or having money that cannot be accounted for

Many teenagers believe that marijuana is safer than alcohol or other drugs. When discussing marijuana with your child, it is helpful to know the myths and the facts. The following are some common myths about marijuana:

  • “It is harmless and natural, it is only an herb, and it won’t affect me long-term”
  • “It is not addictive”
  • “It doesn’t hurt me as much as smoking tobacco”
  • “It makes me feel calm”
  • “It doesn’t affect my thinking or my grades”
  • “It’s safe because it is used as medicine for cancer and other diseases”

Effects of Marijuana
Regular use of marijuana can lead to dependence, which causes users to have a very hard time stopping. When teens use marijuana regularly, they may crave marijuana and give up important activities to use marijuana. If they stop using, they may suffer from withdrawal symptoms which can include irritability, anxiety, and changes in mood, sleep, and appetite.

Marijuana can also cause serious problems with learning, feelings, and health. Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is the active ingredient in marijuana. THC affects the brain’s control of emotions, thinking, and coordination.

Use of marijuana can lead to:

  • School difficulties
  • Problems with memory and concentration
  • Increased aggression
  • Car accidents
  • Use of other drugs or alcohol
  • Risky sexual behaviors
  • Increased risk of suicide
  • Increased risk of psychosis

Long-term use of marijuana can lead to:

  • The same breathing problems as smoking cigarettes (coughing, wheezing, trouble with physical activity, and lung cancer)
  • Decreased motivation or interest
  • Lower intelligence
  • Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, anger, moodiness, and psychosis
  • Decreased or lack of response to mental health medication
  • Increased risk of side effects from mental health medication

One thing it didn’t cover is the possibility of getting a bad mix or synthetic (man-made) marijuana-like drugs. It too is possible.  To help prevent your child from blazing, bonging, puffing, and toking start now. If you think she/he has tried it – do something, just don’t give up! Well, it’s almost time for the crew to get up. I got to go now, see you Wednesday!

Some relative links-

A Parent’s Guide to the Teen Brain

Parents Toll-Free Helpline

1-855-DRUGFREE (1-855-378-4373)

The Parent Toolkit

Marijuana and Teens

Till the next mess, take care, QC Supermom

 

Earth Day 2013:Seeing more!

Saturday was Earth Day! I got up as usual, but instead of the normal going and being busy, I chose to see things differently. Since we took advantage of a gardening class at Home Depot, I figured it was enough acknowledgement for Earth Day.DIGITAL CAMERA

I figured I would surly take a mental break. To my surprise, Charlotte NC is loaded with amazing people, doing amazing things on this Earth. I was able to catch some on camera.

DIGITAL CAMERAClean up was going on on West Blvd. It’s by far one of the roughest streets in the Queen City, but it got done by volunteers!I was happy to see that someone cared enough to be there

DIGITAL CAMERAAs we continued, we got down town. There were so many protesters there. Everyone has a mind and boy were they there sharing them. I seen everything from population control via food poisoning to gay rights protested.

DIGITAL CAMERAFinally we arrived at the Westin hotel, downtown Charlotte. Can you believe this lady had two tiny puppies inside that stroller? Oh my! The bell hop said, “Hi tiny friends!” The dog owners smiled from ear to ear.

DIGITAL CAMERAThis was my lunch. I needed all the energy I could find. I didn’t even have a clue as to how busy the next couple of days would be for us. I picked this up from the Healthly Home Market  on East Blvd. It was really weird eating an entire meal with anyone asking, pulling on, yelling at, or touching me….Oh yes, there is a GOD!……and he loves me! 🙂 DIGITAL CAMERAOk, so I was staring-sue me. But this lady caught my attention. Sure, it was none of my business but obviously she had surgery to  lose ALOT of weight. Her body had collection points where the weight sat at. It almost looked like her body was a collection of balloons made with sand. Bless her heart for trying to get her health together.DIGITAL CAMERACan you read this graffiti? I won’t tell you what it said, But I was surprised to see it on Freedom Drive.DIGITAL CAMERASo why did I observe these odd things? It’s because of those papers up there? All types of sales advertisements for legal help. We got hit the other day in the mini van. We were on our way to our weekly Cooking With Kids Class when this lady hit us. We, 6 of the kids & myself are healing, but we are happy to still be walking this Earth and being able to see things differently than before. Life, and Earth is amazing! I’m so happy that we are able to see more of it.How was your Earth day?ed

Friday Four: 4 Reasons to Never Give Up!

Right now is a GREAT time to be upset. It really is…..Why? Becasue The Harlem Globe Trotters are coming to put a smile on your face!

“Hello, Pity Party on isle one!”

I have acolorful love friend that is going through a rough spot right now. I don’t now what it is and may never ask her. But I read her Face Book post (if it’s on Facebook, it the truth -right?) Anyhoots, I figured that she can’t be the only one having a bad day, as sometimes, I too get very ruffled and have to pull myself back into the light. My husband can’t help, nor can the kids. I have to do it myself and in doing so I think it makes me a stronger person.

1. Let The People You Love

And Who Mean The World To You Be Your inspiration, to persist and persevere . Maybe you need to try a different angle, study more or
practice more but don’t give up!

bam

2.  You don’t want to be known as someone that is weak and gives up. Go Out There
And Prove Yourself  and to the world that you CAN and WILL Achieve what you set out to do.(The only time you fail is when you give up.)

3.There Are People Worse-Off. Right now there
are Many People who are in a worse situation and environment than you are. Are you thinking about giving up running 5 miles a week? Think
about the person who is unable to even walk. You Are So Close. Often when you feel like you want to give up you are so close to making  Huge Breakthrough. affirm

4. Be Realistic. The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is Almost non-existent. Everything Takes Time To Learn And You Will MakE Mistakes. Grow From Them.

Now to my friends defense, she is one of the toughest, well balanced friends I have. I’m sure she’ll be okay. Especially with The Harem Globe Trotters playing this weekend,I know that sadness will be turned upside down. Those guys ROCK!  Have you gotten your tickets yet? Yes? Smart move. Your crew will love it. What a mental vacation ….No?….You still have a chance. Get busy.I’ll even share this offer with you. Don’t miss it. It’s only one show this year!HG_Mom Blog Offer_2013 Get your tickets for this Saturday at the Time Warner Arena! Promotional offer ends TODAY!!!!!

Till the next Pity Party, QC Supermom

Wednesday Wow! Being a SAHM

pinn teachus-001I am a proud mother of 9. Yes, I said NINE. Three short of a nice round dozen. I have been a stay/work at home mom for over ten years now, and have learn to enjoy every minute of it! I love, love, love being with my children and watching them grow every step of the way and I am constantly amazed at the things they do and say-and how quickly they learn. They are like sponges -and constantly absorb the world around them. Yet,

being a stay at home mom is anything but easy. I don’t try to have a perfectly clean house, ironed shirts, or gourmet meals. Walk into my house between 8-noon,you will see my 2 year old writing(on walls) or in front of the TV watching PBS or Nick Jr. You’ll see my 4 year old on his laptop or study book, the 5 year old inside his study book or other manipulatives, the teen girls engaged in their self guided assignments or at the library doing research. By 3, it’s free time till 5:30 dinner and bedtime by 9pm.

romans

 I have been told you have your hands full more times than I would like to have been. Well I do. I go to the market daily. Twice a week we go to story time,Kid Yoga & UNC Charlotte Early Educator learning stations at the library. The 1st Saturday of each month, we go to the Kids Workshop at Home Depot, on Thursdays we eat dinner at Earth Fare (kids eat free*)  and on Mondays, we are at Monkey Joes. Since I also home school, we do a science project every 3 weeks and the remainder off the week are intensive study days. Sundays I’m day off. My husband take over.

Motherhood is a full- time job.  I think the key is making sure you get some grownup talk and support routinely. I am a founding member of Queen City Stay At Home Moms, and it’s wonderful if I do say so myself. Since everyone there was on single income, most of the activities are affordable. Try to find something that you can do that’s just for you, and do it with out the kids. And last but not least, don’t forget to squeeze in a date night with the hubby every once in a while! 😉

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Hopefully, I’ve alleviated some fears of  becoming a productive Stay At Home Mom.  At the end of the day, if given the choice, stay at home!  The financial aspects of it have never been easy, but so far it’s worth all the conservative spending, home made veggie pizza, and the millions of educated play dates we’ve attended. Ultimately, it’s up to each family to decide what is right for them. Just make sure you have a good support group of friends, and try to enjoy every minute with your little ones. They grow up way too fast!

If you know a SAHM or dad, forward them this blog post and consider it a round of 

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applause for all they do. You deserve it!  Well, till the next “boo-boo”, take care,  QC Supermom

Wednesday Wow! The Total Children’s Wellness Fair is on it’s way!

I’m so excited! Right about now, everything is falling in line. Yesterday, I secured the location for this year’s fair! It is nothing less than favor!  In my mind, the Total Children’s Wellness Fair is incredible. It addresses all seven (7) branches of wellness in one day by bringing together the community children, commercial community ,and the service sector for a colossal of healthy fun and under cover education in a progressive engaging format! Obviously, it’s catching on, and it feels great to know that someone else sees the value/ need! purposee Going into our 4th year I expect an explosion of

creativity and teamwork…..our children deserve it! Nutritional, Social, Spiritual, Environmental  Educational, Financial and Physical wellness is and always will be vital to our children survival. If you choose, call it clicheísh, but it’s true, our children do not come with instructions, someone has to fill in that gap for the ones that have no resources or guidance.That’s where the Total Children’s Fair comes in at. The value is to provide realistic life skill strategies and identify local resources that are available to the under served and to support them by sharing knowledge, resources, instruction and time. It’s a win for all! The community partners get to educate their future consumers and the visitors get an opportunity to discover 1st hand why their habits should change…or continue. And you know I’ll have breastfeeding as a highlighted as well as the grand finale of the “She Mechanic” workshops there. Guy’s this is all about empowerment for all children from the unborn to the college student.

Beautiful things DO happen when great people work together! -QC Supermom

Now it’s time to really get busy. If you guys know me by now, I have to have a personal  “Oh Wow” moment  during the fair & I think I have it (no hints just yet!)

tcwf

In the meantime, there’s space for anyone and everyone to help out! If interested contact me now to learn how you can join us!

The Golden Rules 101

disciplineI heard someone asked, “Are children bad mannered because of a lack of affection from parents?”  Her friend answered “No, kids are bad mannered because of lack of discipline and most parents that suck will say that they do discipline but the truth is that they waffle back and forth and scold there kids then feel bad about it and butter the kids up.”

I sort of agree with that,

WE HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD THAT ACTS LIKE HE GETS NO HOME TRAINING. HE LOVES TO YELL “NO!” AND DOES IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS BELLY! (HOW EMBARRASSING) Our  NOW 4 YEAR OLD USED TO DO THE SAME. NOW HE’S A WHOLE LOT BETTER.

I do call kids out on their behavior though. In my home, if kids say things like, “I want a soda!” My response is, “I am sure what you meant was, ‘Mrs. Smith, may I have a soda

red

Try to focus on how good the manners made someone else feel not just insisting your child parrot back the magic words

please?” They look at me dumbly for a moment and then they stammer out the phrase. And then we stumble through thank you and you are welcome. When I see kids treating wait staff poorly, I do the same thing. I also do it in front of their parents. 99% of the time the parents are embarrassed when I say, “Sam, please remember to say please and thank you to Lakesha. Mr. Perkins and I come here all the time and I don’t want them giving me a bad table because of you.” And please note, I speak up after multiple transgressions. I do not slam a 6 year old who forgets to say please because he is so excited about the movie he just saw. I speak up when a 10 year old acts like a jerk on many occasions and has never reigned themselves in.

Please, thank you and excuse me. 

Most times reminding our fellas to use magic words do work. Like any learned behavior, manners must be introduced as early as possible and reinforced consistently. In our home, if you can talk, you can use manners. We have them use them everywhere, especially at home, with each other, from us, parent on down; after all charity begins at home. Simple enough, but they will get it and learn about generosity, feelings, thankfulness and meaning.

setting_boundaires_final

SENDING OUT GOOD KARMA WILL BENEFIT ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR CHILD’S LIFE. IF YOU CAN’T BE ANYTHING ELSE, BE NICE. IT WILL COME BACK TO THEM IN SO MANY POSITIVE WAYS.

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Here’s  two GREAT links to check out: Just click on it.

Etiquette Emergency for Bad-Mannered Kids

Setting Boundaries With Toddlers

THANK VERY MUCH FOR STOPPING by- QC Supermom

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