Friday Four: Picking Your Hard

It’s no question that life can be hard! In a perfect world we could just wake up thin, with a stacked bank account in awesome health among a happy family answering to awesome friends. But that’s not the case. The truth is, you HAVE TO Work —- HARD. You have to pick which hard you want.

dependant child

I told her to pick her hard. If she stays there and continue to do her best in each class, in spite of the fact that she’s not popular there with the students or teachers, she would graduate with a quality education and also come out with a skill set many lack today. And that’s awareness of ‘color braveness.’

One of my friends studied nonprofit management and African American studies. Today she works at a highly regarded women advocacy nonprofit that identifies and injustices for all colors. I don’t think she had an easy time during her college years, but I know that she is enjoying the fruits of her labor now.  I still wonder why would a white woman choose to  go that path, but obviously it was in her to be a source of refuge.

life tips

I maybe wrong but I see many adults today, take can not handle emotional pressures or extreme life challenges because they never had to face any growing up. I don’t want to be that mom. I want to provide a “Ring Pass Not”. A controlled study for better words. Right now, they feel isolated, ignored and degraded for 7 hours five days a week.

When they get home, they are so grateful to be among their family and back in their comfort zone. I loathe hearing the stories they share.  But I will send them both back the next day. Mostly because it’s two of them there and I know nothing will happen that I haven’t prepared them for already. They both are articulate and self empowered enough to report any significant abuse,have cell phones and know simple self defense moves.

advice life test I believe that she will be a better person for it. Standing through diversity, educational, social and  challenges will give her the refinement she needs to handle larger obstacles in life. My husband noted “Do your work. So what if you are not popular with the other students or helped by the teachers there. You’ll be okay, as long as they don’t touch you.”

sheros never quit

Life can be  hard.  When you read the press you only read the glamorous bits.  You read about Oprah Winfrey or the Williams tennis sisters, Shonda Rhimes, or the BET company,  .  But that’s a bit like reading about your state lottery winner and feeling bummed out because you haven’t won despite years of trying.  The reality is that most of you will never hit it BIG yet you’ll lead fulfilled and productive lives. But you have to get up every day and make an effort  EVERYDAY.

Pick your hard! If you fall along the way, get back up again! It’s NOT TOO LATE!

Have more brain candy before you leave- Read this!  This one here, I will share with my daughters. I want them to see more woman that look like them progressing.

Have A Great Weekend, Jabela, QC Supermom

#NeverForget: Sept. 11 Marks 14th Anniversary of Terrorist Attacks in US
On the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, terrorists hijacked four airplanes and crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City, the Pentagon and near Shanksville, Penn., resulting in 2,996 deaths.
I remember where I was. I had my baby daughters with me in East Charlotte in strip mall. I heard about it from the radio announcer & thought it was a joke. Some one mentioned that the attack might include Charlotte and I panicked.  I grabbed my daughters up in one arm and jumped back in the car away from the downtown area.

Wednesday Wow: I have a mind virus stuck in my Messiah Trap.

In all of my life  I have never heard the term ” Messiah trap.” It refers to someone who tends to help other more than them self.  Mind virus is another word that was new to me until today. Both words make really good sense when defining someone that has a deep seeded fear of succeeding.nelson

I had to meditate on this post. I wasn’t sure if I wanted such a  vulnerable side of myself to the world wide web for all to discover.

But maybe it will help others. Who knows!

Some times I ask myself: “If I made a million dollars this year in sales generated from mom consulting, nursing cover ups, Cooking with Kids Classes, and other services that I provide for my moms support group, what would I do with for my self, also I ask, If someone I admired, said that I was amazing, how would I respond? I can see myself, just smiling and quickly throwing back a compliment, because I’m not the best compliment receiver. 

So am I a procrastinator (mind virus) or am I stuck in the Messiah Trap    (wanting to help others reach their goals MORE than I do mine)

 With 6 children in the house,it’s hard to make regular time for my other pursuits. I figure, if the old saying is true”What’s for me is for me. It won’t go anywhere. I can pick up my “steam ” once my youngest gets 6 years old. But to my defense, It has word.I have done ALOT OF GREAT THINGS that happens to be inline with what I want to do later on a full time basis.This year alone, I have created job sharing opportunities for my moms group, negotiated many group discounts and even organized some amazing mom support workshops and events. So I’ll give myself a little break.bc

A friend said to me a few days ago, “Kelle, any time you start something big or life-changing with labels like not good enough you shut down your growth before you’ve even begun. Messiahs come in various varieties. You may see in yourself any of the following: pleaser, giver, rescuer, counselor, teacher, protector, or crusader. Whichever combination, you are susceptible to becoming overextended and over invested in the lives of others.”  a big part of letting go of the messiah trap is connecting to others on an equal footing. Taking your turn as well as giving other’s theirs. Not only do we all need support, but we deserve it as well..Although it felt weird to hear my name in the same thought of a Messiah, I understood the message. I’ll continue onward towards my next goal in small steps. My mom’s group, Queen City Stay At Home Moms will be hosting a EFT event  at The Baby Grocery Store in a few weeks. I heard the tapping can help me get over my subliminal fear of success . We’ll see how that goes.