Friday Four: Gratitude For All! From Tots to Teens

Everyone likes to be appreciated. EVERYONE! One of the many jobs of parenting, is to teach your children about gratitude. The world doesn’t owe them a thing. And it really isn’t that hard to do. But if it’s not programmed in them … it isn’t gonna come out of them. (Ya’ll have seen those type of children)  Even the smallest child can learn and show gratitude. Take a peek at a few ideas below.Be grateful

  1. STOP GIVING THEM SO MUCH!  Keeping thing in perspective, more and more Good Books For Kids on gratefulnesschildren are living a lie. How is it that we are in a recession, but so many of our children are carrying smart phones and Heavily branded shoes. I tell my children all of the time, “You are entitled to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” I also tell them “I refuse to dress up an empty box.”  When you reward your child(ren) for earning “Perks” (which includes volunteering, grades, character) you are teaching them more than just gratitude.I roll my eyes  at some of the things my husband do to save money, but in hind sight the end justify his actions. (Did you see the grill on the featured image. We are still using that same grill. Sure our food takes longer to cook, but when my son get’s his own home and family, his wife is gonna thank us for the raising a grateful guy!)
  2. BE A MODEL!   You already know how kids mimic EVERYTHING we do. Make an
     Seniors & team captains Reggie Johnson & Jervon Pressley went to Magruder Elementary school to speak to students about academics, pursuing goals, and being respectful to their parents and others.

    Seniors & team captains Reggie Johnson & Jervon Pressley went to Magruder Elementary school to speak to students about academics, pursuing goals, and being respectful to their parents and others.

    effort to super grateful in-front of your kids. Growing up people would always say to me…. why do you have such a frown on your face?” I really didn’t intend to look that way because I was a happy child. At some point I changed it. Last year, one of my private tutoring students asked in the middle of a lesson, “why do you smile all of the time?” “I don’t know, I guess because I’m happy.Don’t your mom smile at home?” I replied. Her response to that blew me away….. She said she does, but only when she’s taking a picture!….  (Talk about too Much Information – right?)

  3. SAY Thank you!

    My mother In Law is amazed by the things technology can do. So for her birthday, we had the children make a video birthday card. To prepare, I had each of them write down 2 things they loved most about her. We then talked about their list collectively and the older ones all realized how thoughtful of a grandma she is. When we began to record, they were speaking more from their hearts and less from the list. Not only was their grandma over joyed, the kids gained more gratitude for good family members that care about them ,and they all felt warm inside by sharing goodwill.  Because of this family video below, I have learned a new appreciation for all dentist, big brothers floss.  

  4. Thank them with food.

    Nothing says thanks to me like food. I just associate so much pleasure to eating, that I automatically think good things about a person who gives me food – Guys, I know I am not alone on this     Find out what their favorite type of food is and attach a nice little note telling them why it is being given to them. I like to give vegan treats from Cassie’s Sweetz!

Cassie's Sweetz

Bonus: to really make this fun you can tell them thank you in 26 different languages.

One of my most memorable lessons in having a grateful perspective came from a salmon slicer at Zabar’s in New York City. I asked how he’d been, and his response stopped me in my tracks.

“Blessed,” he said. “I go home to a warm bed. There’s food on my table. I have running water and I can take a hot shower. I am blessed.”

How powerful is that?! Just imagine how different life would be if we all adopted this attitude and passed it on to our children as well.

Your Mom Coach, Kelle

Friday Four: What Type Of Mom Are You?

I am a Care-free Diplomatic Mom. And it works for me.Fun blogger mom In Charlotte I do have fun with my children. Although they have a firm bedtime, I watch them while they are asleep and look forward to seeing them each morning bright eyes and bushy tailed. Even the one in college, I look forward to our regular texts, face-time calls and third party messaging. (Thank Goodness for technology right?!)

Well, now that I know what type of mom I am, (after 23 years) I now understand my norms.Even my new self indulgence of sweet red wine was coined as normal. I know that I’m nothing fancy, just a fun, supportive mom. And that’s okay with me. My results went on to say that:

You are “The Carefree Diplomat Mom!”

As The Carefree Diplomat Mom, you’re able to act as mediator as well as be creative and interactive with your children. Chances are you encourage child-led activities, but aren’t averse to jumping in and playing, too.

Pro: You’re fair and just and will use discipline when needed, but encourage your child to work things out on her own.

Con: Be sure to assert yourself as the adult. Carefree Diplomat Moms may forget to separate themselves from their children, creating confusion as to just who’s in charge.

momsris

PopSugar said that I’m

An Outstanding Mom

Looks like we found the “No. 1 Mom.” You always put the needs of your children (and even your partner) before your own. Sometimes this stresses you out, but most of the time you manage to keep calm. Because you know it’s all worth it just to hear your kids say they love you.

Want to package yourself for a elevator pitch of summary to put on your new mommy cards? Well here you go. my girls
PICK one!
PopSugar was the fastest one.

Which Disney Mom Are You Most Like? This one was really fun to do   

I got – Emily, Andy’s Mom ;Imaginative and extremely hard-working, you are most like Andy’s Mom, Emily from “Toy Story”! Your heart swells with the love of your children even as you read this, and even moreso when you realize just how much of yourself you see in them. Whether by strong genetics or a beautiful relationship, you have at least one child that is YOU made over, and for better or worse you consider it a dream come true. You’ve always cherished youth and encourage creativity and imagination in your family – wouldn’t have it any other way!

my 4 boys

I’m almost embarrass to share my results from all of these sites, but they are so cute. I’m sorry. Here’s just one more from Mother-Styles–  (This is another great one too!)

Your type is: ENTP  —The “Independence” Mother

“When I held my babies, I always faced them outward so they could take in the world.”

  • Full of energy and confident in her own self-sufficiency and competence, the ENTP mother encourages her children—as a role model and as a teacher—to be independent and confident on their own in the world.
  • A “big picture” person, she points out options and possibilities along the way. Objective and logical as well, the ENTP wants her children to evaluate their choices and learn from the consequences of their own decisions.
  • The ENTP mother is resourceful and action-oriented. She likes going places and doing things with her children, exploring all that life has to offer. She is less concerned with rules, routines, and schedules. Introducing her children to new concepts and activities, challenging them, and stimulating their intellectual development are top priorities.

I think these were on the mark! Something else I learned is that I am a great mom and it’s okay to be so.It has taken me many years to get comfortable as a mom of NINE. Call it serendipity, but I know that progressive motherhood  is my destiny! I absolutely LOVE it! To learn more about quiz models, click –> HERE<–  –> Spanking? Use Mamma Spit? See THIS <—-SaMya T. Pressley Scott -my angel

Till next time,

Have a GREAT mommy day! I will!

Wednesday Wow! It’s Easy To Be A Fool!

It is SO Easy to be a FOOL!

Tuesday morning, my daughters and I were talking about foolishness. I was trying to explain to them that it’s easy to be a fool and that being wise and productive requires more effort. Like many moms, one of my biggest fears for my children is that they will fall in mainstream society and fail to recover.

fool

My daughters are 13 and 14, so they pretty much know right from wrong, but they are entering that ring pass not “pushing stage.” So, as we rode down the lovely streets of Charlotte, one of them asked why their dad is so hard on them….and Boy did I let them have the answer.

The first thing out my mouth was, “Being a Fool is Easy!” If your dad didn’t love you, he would not be here, or correcting you. His delivery maybe off, but he is valid in what he’s telling you. If you listen, you might learn something. Why be sugar coated? That’s unrealistic. In the real world when you are given watered down responses it weakens you. I want you to be mentally prepared for any challenge, may it be physically, mentally, socially, nutritionally, educationally, environmentally, or spiritually.”

a fool.

Man, I was on a roll.”The point of it all was to get them to see that anything worth having deserves both mental and physical effort. I went on to say chanting,  “It’s -Too- EASY- to – be- a -Fool!  You can literally wake up, and not do a thing to achieve it. I don’t want ya’ll to be a fool so let your skin thicken up and keep it moving.”

I was on a roll. I think I talked the entire way to our destination and back. But it paid off. As soon as we got home, they apologized to their dad and we haven’t had any problems yet. It just goes to show you that a teaching moment an happen at any time. For our children to know, we must take time, over and over again to teach and remind them. It’s not always easy, and you’ll want to quit but don’t sell yourself or them short. Why? It’s Too Easy To Be A  Fool.

Parenting In Public

The sound of it stopped me right in my tracks: A harsh, “Cut that out! That is not okay!” It almost sounded like she was snarling. Where had my daughter learned to talk like that to her little brother? It sounded so terrible coming from such a sweet young lady in training.  I heard that sound before? Oh, no. I knew exactly where I had heard that before, and where my daughter had gotten it. Straight from my own mouth. Did I really sound like that?

Another incident- this happened at Aldis. T’ the 2yo was sleepy & went on a rampage. He started yelling! Then he started crying! Oh goodness. One of the siblings pointed out a toy Elmo (which he LOVES)  and it went up a hole  other level. He wouldn’t stop. A nice older lady tried to reason with him and he went off on her, yelling  and waving his arms saying” NO, no, NO. no.NO!” How embarrassingly rude!

We’ve all got behaviors we’re not proud of. I’m a chronic procrastinator. And I’ve been known to sneak snacks while no one looking in my mouth. Disliking those behaviors in myself makes it all the more painful when I see glimpses of them in my kids. More so when it’s out in public! People can be so darn judgmental.  I know what they must be thinking, but thank goodness I’ve gotten to a point where I know it’s my job to raise them,and if I don’t encourage certain behaviors, no one else will. So I overlook them and continue on with my parenting. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

Here are some of the ideas we use: Feel free to add your own.

Tips for parenting in public

  • You know your child better than anyone else. If you know that he gets restless quickly or gets overexcited in a crowd or is cranky when he hasn’t had his afternoon nap, plan your outings taking all these factors into consideration.

  • Lay down the rules before you leave. If you’re taking your child shopping, tell him that he’s only allowed to buy one book or toy and this is not negotiable under any circumstances.
  • Equip yourself to keep your child entertained. Carry some toys, crayons, coloring books, etc. with you so that your child is kept occupied and won’t think of throwing tantrums.

  • Make your child feel included by giving him the right to decide certain things like what you should see first at the aquarium or which ride you should go on.
  • At the first sign of restlessness, take your child out for a break. Don’t wait till he is miserable and crotchety.

 

  • The minute he misbehaves, tell him that you understand that he must be tired and fed up, but remind him firmly about the rules you had agreed upon at home.
  • Be prepared to leave as a last resort. Once you have decided to leave, don’t let your child dissuade you even if he promises to behave.

Don’t forget to compliment him for good behavior.- Till next time, QC Supermom