Wednesday Wow: The Power of a real Mama,Willie Maxine Perry

There’s power in motherhood, Willie Maxine Perry, a preschool teacher at the New Orleans Jewish Community Center is a perfect example.madea

She went through alot of abuse in front of her children and sometimes watching them get  the abuse too. To protect them she would sometimes take them with her to run all of her mama errands. They would end up in hair salons, department stores, anywhere to have a safe, and quiet moment. Emmitt Perry Jr once said, “I always thought I would die before I grew up,” as he recounted details of his troubled childhood, including how his mother tried and failed to leave his abusive father,Emmett R. Perry Sr.,

TylerPerrymother_articleWEB“[My father] couldn’t get the bolts off because they were rusted. He looked up at me, and there was a smirk on my   face. All I remember is him tackling me, and I remember holding onto a   chain-link fence so tight, my hands are bloody and he’s hitting me … I feel like I died as a child.”came home, mad at the world,” he continued to write. “He was drunk, as he was most of the time. He got the vacuum cleaner extension cord and trapped me in a room and beat me until the skin was coming off my back.”

Perry goes on to relate accounts of being seduced by a friend’s mother at age 10, to being molested by another friend’s father, to finding out that his own father was molesting a friend. And he tells of how his grandmother made a bizarre attempt to rid him of his allergies.

“She said she was going to kill these germs on me once and for all,” he says. “She gave me a bath in ammonia.”
He said that he never felt safe as a child. After another vicious beating from his father, Tyler says he  blacked out for three days. Every day, he lived in fear that something would set his  father off. It got so bad, he took drastic measures by trying to slit his wrists to commit suicide.

Today, this child is living a life most would dream of with money, fame and seemly happiness. The ironic part of it is he made it by creating/acting the role he wished his mom would have in his life. Being vocal,bold, inspiring, a warrior, a protector , comforter and then sharing other traits in humor, ole school wisdom,tacky attire and a bit of “I don’t give a rats behind abut the law!” Could it be her way of saying, I’m sorry for never leaving the abuse? Maybe she’s leading him into a situuation in hopes that he’ll always have her & and  the life she wanted to give him?

 “My tears were tears of joy, being thankful that I made it. I know that there are a lot of people out there with stories far worse than mine but you, too, can make it. To those of you who have, welcome to life. I celebrate you.” 

tyler-perry

 

Maybe it’s me but, I don’t believe that ANYTHING just happens.  Willie Maxine Perry was abused, yet her son is “ok”. It doesn’t always happen this way,  as we have learned time after time.  Being a mom is a powerful thing.  She birthed a son that brought ‘laughter’ to a sad sad world. Never under estimate your strength as a mom. If you are in an abusive relationship……..Leave now. Release yourself & child of the toxic environment…..the hardest part is to walk.

 

Till next time, QCSupermom

Friday Four:Thanksgiving strategies for gratitude

Thanks Giving  as always is a great time to focus on being thankful. As the parents of 7 adolescents, my husband, Rag, and I generally alternate between pride and dismay at their behavior. Mostly we get to see the good stuff, I’m glad to say. But lately the scales have begun to tip toward disappointment in one area. Amen, 3 and TeHun, 2, seem to appreciate the big things we give them . But their day-to-day comments have started sounding increasingly demanding and — I hate to say it — entitled:

“Mom, I need my juice!

“Ewww, that looks disgu

sting. I’m not eating it.”

“I’m not going. You can’t make me.”

“NO! NO! Leave me alone!”

On the other hand, these might just be the lines of the treble two’s and his natural desire to test his ring pass not.

Adolescence on the other hand are certainly a crazy time for both parents and teenagers. But it doesn’t have to be unpleasant.

I don’t expect my younger sons to be selfless saints, but I’d like to see my daughters and older son to understand how fortunate they are and to recognize the contributions that other people (including Rag) make to their lives. We already say grace, albeit speedily, before meals. 

But  I’ve also been reminded that some gratitude interventions—practices that researchers design to increase gratitude in individuals—don’t always work for everyone.  In fact, several prominent gratitude studies have shown that for some people, consciously practicing gratitude (in certain prescribed ways) actually doesn’t make them feel more grateful. But I’ll venture forth to say that I want mine to practice it regularly.

If you have been imparting good values to your children they will stay with him for the rest of his life.  During adolescence, “(they) may have put them (your values) in cold storage……..but they’re there and they will reappear in time”..no worries for you. 

Children need to see us being grateful for what we have. Tell them, “I am so grateful to have you in my life.” If that is too corny for you, you can say, (when they come home from school), “It is good to see you.”Here are a few more tips that we use to teach our children the value of  gratefulness:

  • Let them see you saying thank you to the postman, the store clerk, and your friends.
  • Let them see you and your spouse thank each other. Thank your spouse for making dinner, for taking out the garbage, cleaning a clogged drain or for making the phone call to Aunt Ethel, something you really didn’t want to do.
  • Don’t complain about all the things you don’t have.
  • Enjoy the beauty around you and point it out to your children. Sunsets, the sun shining on the snow, laughing babies and blossoming trees.

Check out Madea’s best parenting clip.  (You’ll LOVE It!)                 Till next time! -QC Supermom