Hello friends, I’m back! Today, I’m sharing another part pf me. ….Go on call me “Jabela”, I’m a non denominational ordained marriage officiant. That’s a person who officiates at a wedding ceremony (among other things) I have been married for over twenty years. Over that time, I’ve accepted a few facts. And I want to share them with you.
Before you get married, I need you to intentionally consider these questions. If you aren’t sure of all of the following tips….. don’t get married for love, support and legacy building. These tips are needed, so please share them. I also offer pre-marital coaching, so no excuses sis!
Before Getting Married
For many women, marriage is something she’s been looking forward to since knee high to a grasshopper.. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the ultimate goal, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. Below are a few of my top SUGGESTIONS for vetting a husband. As Judge Mayblean said, Look Deep, before you leap!”
Does he pursue you? He should be articulating his intentions clearly. Not just how well he stroke. But does he truly believe that you are his wife- consistently?
Is he trying to learn you or trigger you regularly in a practical relational way? He hurts when he fails to protect you in certain situations.
He always honors you? How many pages he has and the two of ya’ll together in on none of them. Does he handle you in a certain way, If he doesn’t hold doors, look for ways to brighten your day, sis he ain’t your husband.
He enhances your femininity. He Heals your soul! Many woman running both roles. Now, I’m a Proverbs 31 woman myself. But your man should provide a safe place for you to melt all of that down when you hit the front door of your home. It’s your carefree time. Fall back sis. That 6’8 handsome , flashy man isn’t the move. He doesn’t compound trauma sis!
He lives in a way that his character demands respect. He don’t verbally nor physically demands it.
You don’t have to BUILD him. Instead you are naturally inclined to help him arrive to his assignment. But he already has the vision and putting in work. Your skill set is complimentary.This man is motivated to be the best he can be for ya’ll! He will never be content just hanging around unproductive.
I hope you aren’t attempting to coach him into asking him you to marry you. No number of child births, hot meals, sex, or family dates is gonna change his mind (& heart.) That’s a huge red flag. I have just given you many to consider. So save yourself the trauma. If it’s your intentions to be a wife and not just a “Friend with Benefits”, do not assume that he will ever make you his wife.
Sis, you are “The Prize” Don’t be confused anymore! Claim it, Walk in it a – put the work in and secure your hearts desires. Prizes don’t chase. Find out more about me here………(click here)
It was a good night to be in! LOADS of valuable information was shared about saving black pregnant moms. I had the honor of sharing information about Momsrisng and how effective doulas can be during this intense time.
But first things first, please go sign up for updates and action posts from Momsrising.org! I can’t tell you how much I love that organization! Then go sign up for updates for Representative Dr. Alma Adams office. She ‘s like the mom I would want if I didn’t have the wonderful one given to me! SERIOUSLY. Now…….. back to the symposium. It was GREAT! I learned so much. North Carolina and the United States as a whole gotta do better for our black pregnant moms. Rep Adams office did and amazing job putting together a powerhouse of industry and community advocates that shed so much light on these disparities and vile practices.
She and her staff was joined by other Black Maternal Health Caucus Co-Chair, Congresswoman Lauren Underwood, as well as Senators Kamala Harris and Cory Booker. I kid you not! Cory Booker even complimented me on my Momsrising t-shirt that I had on! #HowSway right? I truly gained nuggets of value from every panelist and look forward to teaming back up with them in the future if the opportunity arises. But right now, I wanted to offer four ways a doula can help a pregnant mom during COVID-19.
Since many people still don’t know what a doula is, I will explain it. A doula is an unmedically trained birth worker. We exist to make a pregnancy smooth and easy for everyone involved. We provide a wide range of supplemental services before, during and after labor. We are there from preconception to post delivery to answer questions, make connections, help moms find her own voice, and provide customized services that make moms life empowered. If our practice was on a flow chart, It would be right under midwives. Only because we work outside of the labor and delivery room, not legally covered to deliver babies in most states, and in most states, our fees are covered privately.
But most doulas know it’s time to call the dr. when the baby is measuring too small for your pregnacy, (smaller fetal height), too much cramping, bleeding, severe back pain, funky- bloody discharge, little fetal movement in late pregnancy, and possible ongoing fever just to name a few alarms.
To learn more about my birthing services, please click here. The uncertainties of the Coronavirus automatically puts pregnant moms in a high risk category. Which is understandable. Most would also understand how frustrating it could be as well. And that’s my friend where your doula could be a God send for you! Here’s four ways a doula can help RIGHT NOW:
1. Via Video Call – Your Personal Workout Buddy.
A. Your doula can help your prepare your body for delivery. The moves she share will help you get pregant, stay pregnant, ease delivery and assist in getting your body back in shape after delivery.
B. Counseling. Most doulas are moms. Not all are moms or women, but most are. They understand how you are feeling. Even if it’s something she isn’t familiar with she has a listening ear to offer solutions and comfort.
C. How – To’s – Get the best information for your birt of choice! What to putin your diaper bag, Practice how to communicate with the hospital staff, Learn how to wrap your hair,/& belly, how to pick out car seats, and more.
D. Spiritual Health- DISCLOSURE – not all doulas rely on the ways of their African ancestors as a resources, but I do. I sing, I touch, I hmm, and truly connect with my moms to ensure she is confident in her new role as much as possible.
2. Via Phone. – A Caring and Resourceful Voice
2A. Affirmations. You can get affirmation read to you to help start your day or help you get through it.
2B. Verbal Check Ins – You’re quarantined. Your mate will be in your face. You have zero desire to get dressed or much less brush your teeth. Neither do I . Use the magic of voice. Your doula can sense how you’re doing with particular questions and cues. If needed she can make suggestions and referrals to assist you remotely.
3. Via Email/Text- Get It In Writing.
3A.Your doula can send you reminders to workout, help complete your birth plan, remind you to call your boss for paid leave*, assist you in order your exercise ball, etc.
4. Via USPS, General Delivery – Rain, Shine, Sleet or Snow……. it’s Coming To The Do’ (door)!
4A. Let’s all admit it. There’s something exciting about getting mail. Many doulas create/ & sell birthing supplies like bath salts , aroma therapy, herbal blends for lactation and more.
4B. She can have a healthy, non – contact, locally sourced meal delivered to your front door.
As you can see, a doula is loaded with resourcefulness. Some more than others. The key is to ask questions, and be flexible. She wants to help. She’s certified to help and because everyone is quarantined….she’s available to help! Shucks, I’m available- Call me!
Being safe at home has never been more important. Unfortunately, fear— fear for our health and for our families— has motivated the panic buying of firearms, particularly by first-time gun owners. But fear-purchasing firearms isn’t a way to safety. In fact, research shows the opposite: Bringing a gun into a home makes the home less safe, and this is particularly true in the current moment when domestic violence is increasing.
You’re Invited To The Party!! Help us celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on Wednesday, 16 2019 at the West Charlotte Library, located at 2157 West Blvd, Charlotte, NC 28208. Everyone is welcome to this free community event sponsored by Momsrising and friends and hosted by yours truly!
MLK Day is a day to honor the civil rights crusader and is also great time to teach kids about his life and what the Nobel Peace Prize winner stood for. Local Charlotte families will be coming together once again on Wednesday, Jan. 16 to celebrate Dr. King’s legacy and to empower local children to be the change-makers of the future.
This year’s event theme is “His Dream: Fifty Years Later.” Activities include storytelling for children, family-friendly live performance about Dr. King’s legacy, arts and crafts workshops, dance and more. They will literally beat our anti civil rights pinata and through a roundtable, share how they would have reacted if they were in the shoes of Ruby Bridges and Dr. King. This highly engaging program is recommended for kids 3 and older.
Charlotte Mecklenburg Library – West Boulevard 2157 West Blvd Charlotte, NC 28208 1/16/18 5 :30-7:30 pm Light and yummy refreshments will be served.
Experts have said that helping young people become productive members of society involves more than sending them to school every day. As a community of parents, educators and caretakers, there are ways to look beyond the classroom to find community members who can help cultivate the next generation of innovators, leaders, entrepreneurs and change makers. If you are one of them contact me Kelle to find out how we can work together for our children’s future. Or say hello at this event. We hope to see you there.
Not because I like attention, because I have six children and a husband in my home. But it tells my advertisers that people actually have interest in what I offer. And since you are here…….you know- you know, let’s work together.
The following are Monster Jam trivia questions. Answer them for your chance to win a family four pack to Friday, January 11th / 7 p.m. event. Winner will be selected on the 7th at 7pm. Let the games begin!
1 Who was the first ever World Finals racing champion in 2000?
2. In 1981 when Grave Digger was just a mud bogger, what was its primary color?
4. Who was the first ever World Finals freestyle champion in 2000?
5. Who was the original driver of Grave Digger?
6. Which truck originally was known as Goldberg, has won many freestyle and racing championships.
8. In 1987, which tour did Grave Digger primarily compete on in its first year of competition?
9. In 2007, which truck was brown and has floppy ears and a tail?
11. What color are Grave Digger’s trademark glowing headlights?
12. Which truck was based after a super hero and won the 2007 racing championship?
13. Why didn’t Dennis Anderson win the first event of the Monster Jam 2002 season?
14. This truck was the 2005 freestyle champion and is regularly at the top of the points in freestyle. Which truck is it?
15. What was the name of the truck that Pablo Huffaker drove in the 2007 World Finals?
16. In 1999, Dennis Anderson won his first Monster Jam championship. What was this for?
17. Which truck was based on a 1957 Chevy body and was the 2003 Freestyle Champion?
18. There was only one truck that was a two-wheeled monster truck in the 2005 through the 2007 seasons. Which truck is it?
19. Who was originally responsible for the famous paint design of Grave Digger?
20. In 2003, Grave Digger won its third Monster Jam points championship. Who was the driver?
21. Which truck was the 2004 co-freestyle champion and had horns on the top?
22. Who filled in as the the driver of the Grace Digger #20 while Dennis Anderson had his injured shoulder in 2007?
23. In 1998, the Grave Digger team was sold to which company?
24. Which of the following trucks was blue, and was sponsored by Ford Motor Company in 2007?
.25. What was the color of the Grave Digger in the 2007 World Finals?
26. In what city did Grave Digger first beat Big Foot in competition?
The Harlem Globetrotters made their way back to the Queen City last week! This would be their new 2019 Fan Powered World Tour. How lucky were we to have first peek at their Guinness World Record Day premier. They played two games at my daughter and husbands school, UNC Charlotte. We had the honor of not only attending, but also give away almost 60 tickets to local charities!
Families love the Globetrotters. And the players feed off that energy! They had the entire gym doing the wave. Not once but twice. And let me confess, right now, how much I love Globie! He is hilarious!
Fortunately my four guys love basketball, so there wasn’t a thing they didn’t enjoy about the game. When the flying Globies began those stunts on the trampoline, I just knew we would see those moves again once we got back home to our trampoline. To my surprise, they decided to give a performance before then! My little guys put on their own half time show in a corner. Thank goodness no one went flying in the air!
My older daughter enjoyed using their new mobile app during the game. It had exclusive features, including an augmented reality (AR) basketball toss game and one-of-a-kind image filters that she shared on her social media. Cool right?
And guess what? Hammer is a alumni of my oldest sons college, Hampton University! We thought that was cool to know. I always thought my son, Jervon would make a great Harlem Globetrotter. Especially since he’s super silly, and currently plays basketball overseas.
Now here’s a truth, seeing them again was full of ambivalence. New players – including females, some familiar tricks, exciting 4 points shots, same category of children adults selected to engage with roster’s on- court , shenanigans. It would have been nice to see a more diverse selection of volunteers on the court to reflect the beautiful hues of the Queen City. But then again, I am very passionate about inclusion and diversity.
So family, get ready! They are coming to a town near you! Look out for them all including Big Easy Lofton, Ant Atkinson, Hi-Lite Bruton, Hammer Harrison, Thunder Law, Bull Bullard, Firefly Fisher and, Cheese Chisholm – plus female stars TNT Lister, Torch George and Hoops Green. If you want to do something extra, prior to every performance, you can secure a ticket to Magic Pass, the Globetrotters’ exclusive pregame event. Magic Pass gives fans unprecedented access to the stars of the team, an opportunity to learn tricks, shoot hoops and take pictures on the court. After each game, fans can participate in a free autograph session.* Either way, you’ll enjoy the show!
I wanted to share a quick update. I’ll make this long story short- So back in August of 2012, Noah was just 2 months old when then Beatties Ford Regional library, librarian manager, Ms Iris, asked me to stop feeding Noah where I was seated.
This the exact shirt, day, position, and hour with which Noah’s feeding was violated.
I thought this would be a quick visit, but it wasn’t so I shift [my two month old baby] inside my white, thin, cotton shirt to feed him. The only thing visible was his soft curly brown locks. Seconds later a library volunteer approached me(twice),then the female security guard (twice), and finally the older female supervisor. The message was consistent, plain and clear. I cannot nurse at the computer. I had to stop, get up and go into their 8x10ft nursing cellar. I refused each time telling them I knew my rights and not only were they violating my rights as a library patron, but also as a breastfeeding mom.
The coverage with Dan from SafeLibraries was interesting as well –
So yeah, I was heated for a long time. But got over it as the feeling of accomplishment
filled my spirit. Knowing that standing my ground would definitely encourage other moms to breastfeed with pride as well. And it did. The story traveled further than I have traveled so far. I could never be hushed for something I believe in- I’ve always been
stubborn like that. But here’s the update.
That little dark stuff room is now a nicer place to nurse. Of course if you want to let the liquid gold flow in the lobby you can, but, I thought I would share that with you.
I was there this week and ran into a long time employee of the library. She, Ms Vivian shared with me that it was created after my breastfeeding incident in 20I2. She then invited me to tour inside the newly updated nursing moms space. What was a flex space for small storage is now a intimate, cozy, tiny silo for all nursing mom’s.
I’m okay with that, but more importantly interested in ensuring more staff*, understand the importance of not breaking breastfeeding moments.
Breastfeeding is normal. It can be done in public by women who ARE more comfortable with it than I was with no problem. And the fact is, in most place, they’re protected by law to do so. – CafeMom
Breastfeeding is normal
-To all the new moms that a fearful, ashamed and any other way un-encouraged to feed your baby your liquid gold, please read this and understand that you are everything your baby needs to survive! It was given to us as a gift from God. Before there was formula, there was breast milk. And if you truly want to give your child the absolute best, go on and slide a boob up in your little ones mouth.
I need a vacation! This basketball life is a beast!
My four guys are determined to follow in their big brother’s path and who am I to refuse them? Jervon plays overseas and when he comes home he plays on a ProAm team. It helps keep him in shape and secures our family and friends the opportunity to see him play in the U.S.
It seems like the season never ends because of all the traveling and tournaments. But each year, there are certain games, that can’t be missed. I’m gonna tell you about them right quick.
TBT- They’ve been around since 2014. It’s the highest stakes basketball played anywhere in the world. Single elimination. A multi-million dollar prize. Winner takes all. TBT brings out the best in everyone. TBT champions have won $5.5M, including $5M by back-to-back-to-back Champions, Overseas Elite and $500,000 by the original TBT Champions, Notre Dame Fighting Alumni. This years pot is $2 million dollars!
AAU- is the largest sport in the Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) the oldest and one of the LARGEST non-profit sports organizations in the US since 1888. We have been involved in this organization since 2005. Jervon played on Team United and the boys started with them. But now they are on Grind Academy’s roster.
The USBA tournament is an upper class, high quality basketball tournaments for youth travel teams throughout the United States sine 2006.)
This past tournament with USBA was super fun and affordable because it was in Charlotte. This year Allen Iverson, Jeremy Lamb, Charlotte Hornets guard, LeBron James (he was there to support his son Bronny)
Next game Super 16 in Atlanta, G.A. at the Georgia State University. Prime Time plays Friday at 9 p.m.
In closing, Jervon prayed for one brother, and was given 4. They all share the same love of the game and with his guidance basketball will continue to rule in this household. Because he’s been through these experiences, it help the boy navigate smarter towards their goals.
Raw Truth-> This didn’t happen over night. It didn’t happen without help from others. And it surely wasn’t cheap! We constantly use our creativity to save money and enjoy local activities when available. But it works for us. Our goal is to get all of our children free higher education. And for us, basketball and tennis has been the key. Anything above that is a blessing.
FAVOR Please?—–> If you learned anything from this post, type ” #4MoreThanMe “. It’s a family hash tag! Thanks!
The best dinner and show family date EVER! Family dinner is important….but add in live entertainment with live animals and a fantastic story line-totally priceless!
I still can’t believe it. I grew up near Myrtle Beach and never went to a dinner and show! But that’s ok, I making up for it now. Being a parent has really allowed me to enjoy my childhood again! Which brought us to the Pirates Voyage!
We didn’t plan to go to the show, but our baby boy turned 6, my husband loves the beach, we got a unbeatable deal……so why not?
The night started with a ice breaking pre-show. It was a mix of karaoke, trivia, and a mini meet & greet kinda thing. We even got to meet Salty, the sea-lion! Talk about one smart sea-lion, he can wave hello, stand on his fins, run, and even say goodbye!
(Of course we had a mini home-school lesson too. Turns out these animals can get up to 500 lbs and 6-7ft tall. Mother sea lions are pregnant for 12 months, and give birth on land.)
Then the show began. It was a fun filled – epic battle between the crimson and sapphire pirates that takes place inside of a large ship! (YES, it looked that authentic!)
The dinner and live show included a spectacular acrobatic competition, live animals and original music scores by the one and only Ms.Dolly Parton!
Psst, here, watch our family videos here on Youtube–>
Contrary to negative media generated stereotypes, I personally believe that Black men are poised to experience unprecedented levels of success in America today. Never have the doors of opportunity been open wider for us to follow our passions and create the life of our dreams.
When I heard the news the first thing came to my mind was
He is my king (she is my woman)
Yes he’s my father, yes he’s my son
I can talk to him ’cause he understands
Everything I go through and everything I am
He’s my support system, I can’t live without him
The best thing since sliced bread
Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch
And I just want the whole world to know
Black brotha, I love ya
And I’ll never try to hurt ya
I want you to know that
I’m here for you, forever true
‘Cause you’re my black brotha, strong brotha
And there is no one above ya
I want ya to know that
I’m here for you, forever true
He’s misunderstood, some say that
He’s up to no good around the neighborhood
Well, for your information
Alot of my brotha’s got education
Now check it
This event honors black men.
It especially addresses how black men view themselves after centuries of negative imagery and drives the message that black men are in control of their own destiny and can transcend the limitations some want to put on them because of skin color.
“We want fewer young men in jail; we want more of them in college. We want fewer young men on the streets; we want more in the boardrooms. We want everybody to have a chance to succeed in America. And it’s possible if we’ve got the kind of team that we set up today.” – President Barack Obama
Now, here’s how to win them. Be sure to like our other pages –> use QCSupermom on
Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Periscope. On one of the tag a friend and list your favorite song that uplifts the black man. That’s it! Easy right?
Like /follow at least 2 of our social media pages.
Tag a friend (from our page)
On our page, list your favorite song that uplifts the black man.
Hey Charlotte, are you looking for a meaningful way to celebrate MLK with your child? Then plan to join us for a FREE kid-friendly birthday party to celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.- MLK
MLK Day and the days surrounding it provide the perfect opportunity to talk with our kids about justice, service, and the ability of people working together to change things for the better. But it can be hard to find an event that speaks to kids at their level.
At this year’s party, we’ll also be celebrating the power of children. While their contributions are often left out of the history books, children and young people played a critical role in the struggle for equality.
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
From the thousands of children who marched and were jailed in the Birmingham Children’s March to Ruby Bridges and the many other children who bravely integrated schools to Claudette Colvin who at 15 refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus nine months before Rosa Parks and so many more, our nation’s history is filled with brave kids who stood up for what was right.
At this year’s MLK family birthday party, we’ll celebrate their contributions in kid-friendly ways while encouraging all of our community’s children to think about how they too can help make our world a kinder, more just place.
There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love.
-Martin Luther King Jr.
At this FREE celebration, we’ll have story time, crafts, activities, and top it all with birthday cake as we sing “Happy Birthday” to Dr. King.