We do many things. We can help develop a plan around the wishes and values of the dying person, advocate on behalf of the patient, attend to and manage their symptoms, conduct life reviews, and help to resolve unresolved issues for starters.
“When you change the way you view birth, the way you death will change.”
What I’ve observed as a death doula is most individuals have thee common regrets:
I wish I’d had the courage to live true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Many regret not pursuing their dreams or making choices based on others’ expectations odf others rather than desires of the heart.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. This regret often reflects the realization that people sacrificed time with loved ones and personal experiences to pursue career success or financial stability.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Suppressing emotions or failing to communicate openly with loved ones can lead to regret later in life.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends and certain family members. Maintaining relationships and nurturing friendships is essential for overall happiness and well-being, but people often neglect it in the busyness of life.
I wish that I had let myself be happier. Some people realize too late that they spent too much time worrying about trivial matters or dwelling on negative thoughts instead of allowing themselves to experience joy and contentment.
These regrets share the importance of living authentically, prioritizing relationships, expressing emotions, and balancing work and personal life. They are valuable reminders to reflect on your priorities and make choices that align with what truly matters in life. ❤ – Minister Kelle ❤
The End Of Life
deserves just as much respect,
support & love as the begining.
Death is not the opposite of life, it’s a part of it.
It is not uncommon for a single hospice nurse to be managing 15 to 18 patients at one time. Understaffing is the biggest obstacle they face.And the lack of care that results from this is then shouldered by untrained family members. The work of a death doula can extend beyond the dying person. They can provide emotional and social support to family, friends and even neighbours – I’ve been there. Done that. and would love to make your journey better. – Minister Kelle Pressley, FSD, The Pink Grasshopper Full Spectrum Doula Trainer
Wanna become a Death Doula? Apply for our Death Doula Certificate Course. I will provide personalized guidance and address your questions about the curriculum and learning objectives. Click here to connect.
It was a good night to be in! LOADS of valuable information was shared about saving black pregnant moms. I had the honor of sharing information about Momsrisng and how effective doulas can be during this intense time.
But first things first, please go sign up for updates and action posts from Momsrising.org! I can’t tell you how much I love that organization! Then go sign up for updates for Representative Dr. Alma Adams office. She ‘s like the mom I would want if I didn’t have the wonderful one given to me! SERIOUSLY. Now…….. back to the symposium. It was GREAT! I learned so much. North Carolina and the United States as a whole gotta do better for our black pregnant moms. Rep Adams office did and amazing job putting together a powerhouse of industry and community advocates that shed so much light on these disparities and vile practices.
Representative Alma Adams 5th Annual Women’s Symposium took place at 6:00 PM Thursday, April 16. via Zoom: click image to watch. I’m in there some where.
She and her staff was joined by other Black Maternal Health Caucus Co-Chair, Congresswoman Lauren Underwood, as well as Senators Kamala Harris and Cory Booker. I kid you not! Cory Booker even complimented me on my Momsrising t-shirt that I had on! #HowSway right? I truly gained nuggets of value from every panelist and look forward to teaming back up with them in the future if the opportunity arises. But right now, I wanted to offer four ways a doula can help a pregnant mom during COVID-19.
Since many people still don’t know what a doula is, I will explain it. A doula is an unmedically trained birth worker. We exist to make a pregnancy smooth and easy for everyone involved. We provide a wide range of supplemental services before, during and after labor. We are there from preconception to post delivery to answer questions, make connections, help moms find her own voice, and provide customized services that make moms life empowered. If our practice was on a flow chart, It would be right under midwives. Only because we work outside of the labor and delivery room, not legally covered to deliver babies in most states, and in most states, our fees are covered privately.
But most doulas know it’s time to call the dr. when the baby is measuring too small for your pregnacy, (smaller fetal height), too much cramping, bleeding, severe back pain, funky- bloody discharge, little fetal movement in late pregnancy, and possible ongoing fever just to name a few alarms.
To learn more about my birthing services, please click here. The uncertainties of the Coronavirus automatically puts pregnant moms in a high risk category. Which is understandable. Most would also understand how frustrating it could be as well. And that’s my friend where your doula could be a God send for you! Here’s four ways a doula can help RIGHT NOW:
1. Via Video Call – Your Personal Workout Buddy.
A. Your doula can help your prepare your body for delivery. The moves she share will help you get pregant, stay pregnant, ease delivery and assist in getting your body back in shape after delivery.
B. Counseling. Most doulas are moms. Not all are moms or women, but most are. They understand how you are feeling. Even if it’s something she isn’t familiar with she has a listening ear to offer solutions and comfort.
C. How – To’s – Get the best information for your birt of choice! What to putin your diaper bag, Practice how to communicate with the hospital staff, Learn how to wrap your hair,/& belly, how to pick out car seats, and more.
D. Spiritual Health- DISCLOSURE – not all doulas rely on the ways of their African ancestors as a resources, but I do. I sing, I touch, I hmm, and truly connect with my moms to ensure she is confident in her new role as much as possible.
2. Via Phone. – A Caring and Resourceful Voice
2A. Affirmations. You can get affirmation read to you to help start your day or help you get through it.
2B. Verbal Check Ins – You’re quarantined. Your mate will be in your face. You have zero desire to get dressed or much less brush your teeth. Neither do I . Use the magic of voice. Your doula can sense how you’re doing with particular questions and cues. If needed she can make suggestions and referrals to assist you remotely.
3. Via Email/Text- Get It In Writing.
3A.Your doula can send you reminders to workout, help complete your birth plan, remind you to call your boss for paid leave*, assist you in order your exercise ball, etc.
4. Via USPS, General Delivery – Rain, Shine, Sleet or Snow……. it’s Coming To The Do’ (door)!
4A. Let’s all admit it. There’s something exciting about getting mail. Many doulas create/ & sell birthing supplies like bath salts , aroma therapy, herbal blends for lactation and more.
4B. She can have a healthy, non – contact, locally sourced meal delivered to your front door.
As you can see, a doula is loaded with resourcefulness. Some more than others. The key is to ask questions, and be flexible. She wants to help. She’s certified to help and because everyone is quarantined….she’s available to help! Shucks, I’m available- Call me!
Being safe at home has never been more important. Unfortunately, fear— fear for our health and for our families— has motivated the panic buying of firearms, particularly by first-time gun owners.[1][2] But fear-purchasing firearms isn’t a way to safety. In fact, research shows the opposite: Bringing a gun into a home makes the home less safe, and this is particularly true in the current moment when domestic violence is increasing.[3][4][5]
Here’s how to file your paper work to get your doula fees paid.
The fact that their insurance company might reimburse at least some portion of the fee for your services might make you attractive to a group of potential clients who might not have been interested before. Getting reimbursement for doula services requires patience and persistence, but it can be done. If you are going to offer this as a possibility for your clients, you will also need to be willing to offer some guidance and, most likely, a fair amount of support, as they attempt to get reimbursed.
How to Request Insurance Reimbursement for Doula Services
___ Pay your doula in full.
___ Get an invoice from her which includes the following information:
The doula’s name and address
Her social security number/taxpayer ID number or NPI number
The date and location services were provided
The CPT code for the services provided
A diagnosis code
The doula’s signature
___ Submit the invoice with a claim form to your insurance company.
___ Within four weeks, expect a letter telling you either that
They need more information before they can process your claim.
This is not a covered expense.
___ Ask your Doula to send you the following:
A copy of her certification (if she is certified)
Other credentials or relevant training
A letter detailing her training and experience and what she did for you
___ If possible, ask your obstetrician or midwife for a letter explaining why a doula helped you, was necessary, or saved the insurance company money. (Did you have a high-risk pregnancy? Did the doula’s suggestions appear to prevent complications or help your labor to progress more quickly? Did the doula’s presence decrease your need for expensive pain medications?)
___ Write a letter explaining why you felt the need for a doula and how you believe the doula was beneficial to your health.
___ Submit to your insurance company: the doula’s letter and credentials the letter from the doctor your cover letter
___ If they refuse it, write a letter to Health Services requesting that they review the claim, as you feel it was a cost-cutting measure and they should cover the cost.
___ Follow up by telephone if necessary.
___ If they refuse, write a letter to the CEO explaining why you feel that doula care should be a covered expense. They may not pay your claim, but they will consider it for the future. (Kelli Way, ICCE, CD(DONA) 1998.
Notes:
If you are a doula, I suggest you click over and read the guide to getting a National Provider Number and helping your clients get reimbursed.
Would you love to hire a Doula but you honestly can’t afford one? Fear not! Your Health Insurance may cover it!
Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain – your life will never be the same. – Catherine Jones
So you’re having a baby huh? Congrats! Things are about to be change in a beautiful way!
Grab a bowl of oatmeal and relax. I did it 9 times, you’ll be okay.
I love being a Charlotte doula. I not only help couples before conception, but I also get to help them during and after delivery. (Check out my Facebook page)
I love attending births. I love how it makes me feel. I love how it makes the mom feel. I love making a difference in other peoples’ lives.
Charlotte has a great selection of professional doulas, and I am proud to be among some of the best in the business. IF I COULD DO IT FOR FREE I WOULD. But I can’t. Aside from the cost of education, books, workshops, continued education, and advertising (website, cards, brochures), we also take into consideration the time that it takes for all of these as well as out of pocket expenses.
In the grand scheme of things, you’re paying for an invaluable service during your pregnancy, labor, and birth. The difference a doula can make during this time is often priceless. The least that can be done is pay her asking fee. If you need help with that, look no further than your maternity Insurance. (See My Webpage)
As a doula, one of the first questions I’m asked is, will my HMA pay for your services? Here’s the short answer:
Expenses paid for a doula who’s primary purpose is for delivery of the infant are reimbursable. Charges where the primary purpose is child care after delivery are not covered. An explanation of the primary purpose should accompany the claim.
The following is a partial list of insurance companies have reimbursed in whole or in part for doula services:
Aetna Healthcare
AltPro
Baylor Health Care System/WEB TPA
Blue Cross/Blue Shield
Blue Cross/ Blue Shield PPO
Cigna
Degussa, a German Chemical Company
Elmcare, LLC, C/O North American Medical Management
Foundation for Medical Care
Fortis Insurance
Glencare Managed Health Inc.
Great-West Life & Annuity Ins. Co.
HNTB (Peoria, IL)
Houston New England Financial, Employee Benefits (Fort Scott, KS)
Note: I would ask the doula for her NPI (National Provider Number It may or may not be an issue. Find out before hiring her. or it may be coming completely out of your pockets.
~~~~ON NEXT Monday, I’ll tell you the procedure to filing your doula fees~~~~
HSA qualifications vary; including Medicad. For some insurance companies may want you to identify as an out of network licensed healthcare provider and may make it easier to get reimbursement to your clients. Depends on the insurance company and the state insurance laws.
I tell my clients to get their OBGYN to write them a prescription for me (a doula) One day Blue Cross Blue Shield called me directly just to ask if I was a doula in their network and I was so proud to say, “Not yet but I am a certified doula .” (Via my numerous clients birth records and doula registration receipts) But they didn’t ask for them . So far, getting paid has never been an issue for me. My clients are instructed to submit receipts through their health insurance coverage, not a flex spending.
Feel free to check out my Pintrest board on ‘Pregnancy’. It’s the rated board for doulas! I’m sure you’ll find great information there.
If this hasn’t helped, just go to your HSA . They should have a third party administrator who can answer this for you.
Here are some beautiful quotes on pregnancy. Click here!
The memories! The moment I learned that I was pregnant, I wanted to find the largest container of orange juice and just die under a rock. From the time my little guy was born, I always felt that I had something to prove to him, our supporters,our small town, other teen moms, and myself.
Just In Case you cross this bridge, here’s 4 Things You Should Really NOT Do To a Teen Mom:
Shame or Degrade her- This is number one for a reason. OMG! You have no clue how much damage this causes. When your own flesh and blood teases you, make you the family calamity, and under dog. Even worse when the fathers family and her community dishonors her. You are asking for a mess. A broken, lonely, lost mess. It’s like saying “You’ve passed the point of no return.” She may believe it. Speak blessings into her life.
Discourage her- This birth has effected her life as well. Work with her. If you discover an opportunity for her, tell her about it. Babysit while she goes to school, work or appointments. Offer to do the child’s hair, help with a birthday party. Mentor and support her into a mom the baby can be proud of.
Disown the unborn- Most times it’s the fathers family that snarls at a unplanned teenage pregnancy. For some reason, his family thinks the girl wants the family treasures. Well, guess what, sometimes it’s true. At this point. So what? You have the opportunity to groom another family member to be a part of your family goals. That baby maybe the missing piece of your family vision toward greatness. Don’t kill your blessing. That’s what DNA testing is for.
Expect her to forgive you after you’ve done ALL of the above.- Something can’t be healed once destroyed. Words do hurt. Somethings you should just keep to yourself if it’s not going to help the situation. That mom may not bring it up, but she will remember. You can not get out what you don’t put in. This includes love, respect, and acknowledgement.
I have five more to go before I can claim a total win,but so far so good. It has not been easy. But Oh My, it’s been worth every one of the obstacles and setbacks.
Success IS Indeed the greatest revenge. It is true. I would put my neck on a chopping block to swear by it. As I sit back and think of the upcoming month, I can’t help but smile and try to contain my extreme excitement. I know it’s nothing but grace and mercy, but My God, the favor that is upon me right now is what I’ve been waiting on. I have FOUR graduates busting caps and gowns this year! Two of my daughters, my oldest son and my husband. Can you believe that?
This teen mom, single mom, mother of nine, once displaced*, gal from South Carolina, has 8 remaining- healthy children and every last one of them are thriving! Being a teen mom is not the worst thing to happen. When it happens encourage her to accept the call of motherhood and be the best she can possibly be. That way everyone wins.
I’m so grateful for my parents. I KNOW that I disappointed them. I KNOW that they too were catching slack because of their baby girl getting pregnant as a teen. I know my sisters were tried after the town knew that I was giving up ‘my cookies’. I am sorry everyone. I hope my recent accomplishments say thank, I’m proud of. You’ve done a great job by the children, So glad you didn’t let us down. Because of you I am a doula, wedding officiant, homeschooler, brander ambassador, mom coach, Queen City Stay At Home Moms organizer, social activist, and wife.
A few years ago I was surfing on Facebook. I came across a name that really intrigued me. It was a guy named Baba Doula!
He had the sweetest family and the most adorable little girl. So I felt comfortable approaching him. It did help that he was socially conscious and knew people in high places…..(and who doesn’t LOVE Ms Erykah She Ill Badu?)
The name alone made me search through his profile to learn more about him. I looked through pictures, comments on his timeline , and even his friend list to get a better sense what type of person he was. He checked out to be a really upstanding fella so I befriended him and quickly asked, “What’s up with that name? The conversation went like this:
ME: Morning Baba. Are you a doula? Your name is throwing me off.
Free em all! Lol… Allow me to try and explain Sis.
ME: Lol, I’m listening….
Did you see the post on my time line from 17 JAN about jailed father for daughters vaccination?
I didn’t see it but I quickly went to find it. Some time later, I engaged him again. This time it was to learn more about his passion for birthing, life and if possible, more about him as a husband. So he shared:
I’m Baba Doula! My nom de plume, my moniker, which like our child was conceived / created out of love. As you know, Baba means father and Doula is one who serves a woman doing childbirth. I am a husband, and a father to a darling little girl named Tsage. It never even occurred to me the all of the struggles a woman must go through before, during, and after childbirth. When we found out we were with child, I began reading, watching, and educating myself to the point of passing out and having nightmares literally. Prenatal DVDs, cooking fine cuisines, mediation, bonding, Bradley Method childbirth class. It was King Solomon who said, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” Old African birthing wisdom, such as squatting during labor, moving around freely, being able to eat and drink freely, and relaxing has been repackaged into an expensive birthing class. But thankfully, friends of ours donated half the money so we could take it. We also procured a doula to augment my own support during labor. Lastly, we hired a placenta encapsulation specialist to ensure a smooth postpartum transition. And although I am not the one who gives birth, my politics do, and is shaped from the reality by those who did, and those who continue to bring life into this world.
ME: You mentioned ” We have slight generational and culture parenting differences.” Everyone doesn’t agree with me…… But I’m curious…… what do you think is the biggest difference?
Months later I engaged him again. He then shared.
I grew up in the 80’s and she grew up in the 90’s. James from Good Times was my “TV Dad.” While she had Bill Cosby. It wasn’t frowned upon to spank your child. Ash don’t believe in spanking, she hasn’t seen a House Party film either. So sweeping a broom over your foot, cutting the seat out of old panties, keeping a piece of salt pork on top of the Frigidaire as medicine, sayings like “don’t let the hide go with the tallow”, using a piece of straw broom as a tooth pick, etc. are all foreign to her.
Did you see the post on my time line from 17 JAN about jailed father for daughters vaccination? Yes? That was him 🙂
Baba is all man, but his foundation is reminiscent of mine. It wasn’t long ago that I stood up for all breastfeeding moms in the Charlotte Mecklenburg Public Library. He is the type of person I would send my mommy and daddy friends to when my husband is worn out from responding to parenting and social questions. Well, the good news is I persuaded him to increase his profound presence to the ones that need it the most!
Help me welcome BaBa Doula to QC Supermom!!! We are so happy to have his perspective in our pubic, liberal, holistic, community! Let the fun begin!
Baba is available for family centered product reviews, daddy consultations and even speaking events! Learn more about this cool cat on our page. Click HERE !
Nine babies and I only had 2 smash cakes! What was I thinking of? They are so cute, fun, and just plain smart!
I know a great vegan baker in Charlotte NC. See Cassie Sweetz
Who wants a cake a lil hand all over their cake? REALLY??? Lil Mikey can be the cutest thing since Kermit the Frog, but uuugh, I’ll pass on the booger laced slime delight.
A smash cake is typically given to the birthday child at the first birthday celebration and is to be smashed, smeared, enjoyed and eaten by the birthday boy or birthday girl (remember to take lots of photos for the album!). Increasingly, people are making two cakes for the 1st birthday party: a smash cake and the main decorated birthday cake. The birthday guest of honor gets to have fun with the smash cake while the main birthday cake can be enjoyed by the guests, untouched by little hands.
There are several ways to create a first birthday smash cake. A smash cake is usually a mini cake that matches the party theme, however any cake will do. The smash cake can be as simple as a vanilla cupcake (a giant cupcake is perfect) or as complex as a smaller version of the main cake. The possibilities are endless!
Remember to remove any cookie sticks, decorative pix or candles before you serve the smash cake and be sure to spread newspapers under your child’s chair to catch the mess!
Order it from Cassie’s Sweetz or make it your self! Or you can click on the links of each picture for more details.
PRETTY IN PINK CAKE
Rose Levy Beranbaum’s white velvet cake is my go-to cake for birthdays. You can pair it with almost any frosting or filling. Although Beranbaum prefers a non-chocolate frosting on this cake like this one, I think a silky chocolate buttercream frosting works just fine here if it’s not overly chocolate-y.
If you have only two 9-inch pans like I do, follow this recipe to make the first two layers. After they have cooled and you have another pan available, halve the recipe to make a third layer. This will give you three 1 1/8-inch cake layers.
INGREDIENTS:
For The Cake:4 1/2 large egg whites
1 cup milk
2 1/4 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 cups sifted cake flour
1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
DIRECTIONS:
STEP 1: MAKE THE CAKE
Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease two 9-inch cake pans with butter and line the bottoms with parchment paper. Grease tops of parchment paper and dust lightly with flour.
Combine ¼ cup milk, the egg whites and the vanilla in a bowl and set aside.
Add the dry ingredients to a large bowl or the bowl of an electric mixer and mix on low for 30 seconds. Add the butter and remaining ¾ cup milk, and mix on low speed until the dry ingredients are moistened. Increase to medium speed (or high if you’re using a hand mixer) and beat for 1 ½ minutes. Scrape down the sides, and add the egg mixture in 3 batches, beating for 20 seconds after each addition.
Scrape the batter into the pans and smooth the tops with a spatula. The pans should be about ½ full. Bake 25-35 minutes or until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean. You will want the cake to spring back when pressed lightly.
Cool the cakes for 10 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife or spatula. Remove from pans.
Using a cake leveler, evenly cut the tops off the cake so the layers are equal height.
Spread an even layer of frosting on top of the first cake layer and stick the cake in the freezer for 10 minutes or until the frosting is set. Add the second cake layer and repeat with frosting and freezer time. Add the third layer and spread a thin layer of frosting on top of the cake and around the sides of the cake – this is your crumb coat. Put cake in the freezer for 5 minutes or until frosting is set. Add a final thin layer of frosting to the top and sides of the cake, making sure it has a smooth finish. Place the cake in the freezer, covered, until you’re ready to decorate.
STEP 4: DECORATE THE CAKE
For the final fondant decoration, please see Not Without Salt’s instructions. I used 2 lbs of red buttercream fondant (with some leftover) and 4 lbs of white buttercream fondant (with some leftover). I used “antique white” to cover the cake and “wedding white” to make the strips.
If you’re making a 9-inch cake, you will need another set of hands to help you wrap the fondant around the cake, that is, unless you come up with a better system or technique than I did. If so, please share!
It’s your baby’s first birthday! Let him dig into his first birthday cake toddler-style with an adorable smash cake that’s almost too cute to eat. Almost.
Thank for allowing me to server you and your family. I was your doula and I’ve always thought that, if I did my job well, then you would only remember how amazing YOU were when it was time to birth your baby.
Birth is hard work and I hate how our culture presents it as a nice, tidy little inconvenience.
But you went against that cultural norm and chose to birth your baby with the help of a midwife, with all of the pain, bodily fluids, doubt, and triumph that come along with choosing that path.
You were beautiful. I know, I know … you hadn’t showered for two days and you threw up six times … but when you got to 8cm, there was a beautiful glow in your cheeks. … and beads of sweat on your lip. I put a cool washcloth on your forehead, knowing that you were near holding your baby, knowing that there might still be a ton of work to do, and knowing that every moment would be worth it for you.
You frantically looked around and gasped “I can’t do this anymore.”
And I looked you in the eye and said, “You can do this. You are doing this. Don’t be afraid!”
And you believed me, as well you should have, because I was telling you the truth.
I knew the baby would be moving down with these powerful contractions as your cervix melted away. And I told you “You’ll feel a lot of pressure, like you have to poop a bowling ball.” And then, when that happened (the pressure, not the bowling ball!), you had a brief moment when the recognition of “Oh! This is what she was talking about!” passed over your face as the contraction faded away.
I didn’t tell you to push because your body knew damn good and well when it was time to move your baby from your womb to the outside world. And a few contractions (or maybe a few hours) after you’d been pushing, you said, “I think I’m pushing.” “I know,” I said, “Just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s perfect.” If you were a mama who I did actually tell to push, know that there was a good reason for that.
You may have been in the water, or you may have been on the toilet, you may have been on your hands and knees, or the birth stool, or on your side, or standing up, or flat on your back. If I look in my birth log at the day of your birth, I’ll remember which of these positions you were in and I’ll remember if it was because I asked you to get in that position or because that is where you instinctively went.
It matters to me where you were when your baby was born.
I remember that moment when we could clearly see the head. I love that your baby’s daddy thought that the top of the baby’s head, when we could see about three inches of it in diameter, was the whole head … and that as the rest of the head emerged his eyes were filled with tears and big as saucers. I remember after your baby’s head was born whether or not your baby turned to the left or to the right. I remember if your baby didn’t turn and I helped straighten the shoulders. I remember your baby coming fully into the world and the look on your face … I remember that in that moment, you became a mama – whether it was for the first time or the ninth time – relief and joy and sweat and sometimes tears intermingled.
I remember if I missed your birth, I remember if I was there three minutes or three days. I remember if we went to the hospital. Believe me when I tell you that I remember all of it.
I handed your baby up to you and just stepped back, always keeping an eye on the two of you. I tried to keep my mouth shut and let you discover your new little person on your own. I’m sorry if I chatted too much. I sometimes am just so proud of mamas that I can’t contain myself. But I try hard to honor your space and the sacred-ness of new life.
I remember what your immediate postpartum was like, too. Really, I do. I talked to you about how babies process things about six times slower than we do and urged you to keep that in mind as you loved on your baby. And after a few hours, I tucked you into bed and went on my way.
You were beautiful and strong and tired and, I hope, proud.
I got to see you many times over the next six weeks. And after that last appointment, I got in my car and cried. I was so proud of you and so honored to have gotten to be a part of your life that I cried tears of joy, knowing that I may never see you or your precious baby again … but, for these brief months, I hope that I was all that you needed and dreamed of because YOU were all that I dreamed.
And my prayer for you as I drove away that day, “Oh Lord, please help her to remember that she CAN do it, that she IS doing it. Please help her to always remember that her doula said, “I was made for this”
Because I’m a doula, I revised it from the original version from Carrie Blake, CPM, LM
I am a Care-free Diplomatic Mom. And it works for me. I do have fun with my children. Although they have a firm bedtime, I watch them while they are asleep and look forward to seeing them each morning bright eyes and bushy tailed. Even the one in college, I look forward to our regular texts, face-time calls and third party messaging. (Thank Goodness for technology right?!)
Well, now that I know what type of mom I am, (after 23 years) I now understand my norms.Even my new self indulgence of sweet red wine was coined as normal. I know that I’m nothing fancy, just a fun, supportive mom. And that’s okay with me. My results went on to say that:
You are “The Carefree Diplomat Mom!”
As The Carefree Diplomat Mom, you’re able to act as mediator as well as be creative and interactive with your children. Chances are you encourage child-led activities, but aren’t averse to jumping in and playing, too.
Pro: You’re fair and just and will use discipline when needed, but encourage your child to work things out on her own.
Con: Be sure to assert yourself as the adult. Carefree Diplomat Moms may forget to separate themselves from their children, creating confusion as to just who’s in charge.
Looks like we found the “No. 1 Mom.” You always put the needs of your children (and even your partner) before your own. Sometimes this stresses you out, but most of the time you manage to keep calm. Because you know it’s all worth it just to hear your kids say they love you.
Want to package yourself for a elevator pitch of summary to put on your new mommy cards? Well here you go.
I got – Emily, Andy’s Mom ;Imaginative and extremely hard-working, you are most like Andy’s Mom, Emily from “Toy Story”! Your heart swells with the love of your children even as you read this, and even moreso when you realize just how much of yourself you see in them. Whether by strong genetics or a beautiful relationship, you have at least one child that is YOU made over, and for better or worse you consider it a dream come true. You’ve always cherished youth and encourage creativity and imagination in your family – wouldn’t have it any other way!
I’m almost embarrass to share my results from all of these sites, but they are so cute. I’m sorry. Here’s just one more from Mother-Styles– (This is another great one too!)
“When I held my babies, I always faced them outward so they could take in the world.”
Full of energy and confident in her own self-sufficiency and competence, the ENTP mother encourages her children—as a role model and as a teacher—to be independent and confident on their own in the world.
A “big picture” person, she points out options and possibilities along the way. Objective and logical as well, the ENTP wants her children to evaluate their choices and learn from the consequences of their own decisions.
The ENTP mother is resourceful and action-oriented. She likes going places and doing things with her children, exploring all that life has to offer. She is less concerned with rules, routines, and schedules. Introducing her children to new concepts and activities, challenging them, and stimulating their intellectual development are top priorities.
I think these were on the mark! Something else I learned is that I am a great mom and it’s okay to be so.It has taken me many years to get comfortable as a mom of NINE. Call it serendipity, but I know that progressive motherhood is my destiny! I absolutely LOVE it! To learn more about quiz models, click –> HERE<– –> Spanking? Use Mamma Spit? See THIS <—-
On last week, I share 1/3 of of my series on postpartum depression. I hope you liked it. Here’s part 2. Feel free to share and add your business information if you supply servicesw for this illness.
30 minutes of sunlight per day.
I have met too many moms beating themselves up with guilt and shame because postpartum depression has a grasp on their JOY. I feel it weighing on my heart to share this message and take a stand. I want moms to know they’re not alone in this struggle. Let’s shake the shame, lose the guilt and help these moms take back their JOY♥ Please LIKE and SHARE if you or someone you know is or has been affected by postpartum depression. visit http://www.postpartumprogress.com for answers and support from experts and fellow moms.
Take time with your appearance, grooming, self care. Looking good and caring for your body can help you feel better.
Nurture yourself. What feeds your soul or makes you feel wonderful? Do these things, go to these places.
Keep to a routine. It can be a daily routine or a weekly routine. Even seasonal “routines,” activities or rituals done at particular times around the year, strengthen our sense of rhythmicity and resilience.
Laugh regularly and hard. Visit with people who make you laugh, read your favorite humorous web sites, or watch a TV show that always provides a chuckle. When turning to youtube or the internet, set a timer, and after 30 minutes move on to activities in which you connect with someone you can physically interact with and touch. The internet is wonderful, but during times of depression it can actually serve to further isolate us by creating connection experiences that don’t involve all of the senses through which true attachment is built.
Pray or meditate. Spiritual transformation and growth are a common part of the transition to parenthood. So much about your life has changed. This impacts your control in the world, as well as meaning, purpose, and identity. Exploring spiritual significance is a healthy means of integrating motherhood or fatherhood into who you are.
Sing. Songs can express any emotion and may be used either to release emotions you are feeling or to create in you emotions you are reaching for.
Listen to a variety of music.
Spend time with other adults. Talk with supportive and understanding people. Perspective, normalization, and community are essential for the new parent.
Keep a journal. Express your thoughts and feelings by writing them out.
Get involved in the outside world. Help others. There are volunteer programs that welcome parent-baby pairs. Call your local nursing home and ask about opportunities for visitation with healthy residents.
Find a support group. Local birth doulas, midwives, and childbirth educators should be able to help you find a postpartum depression support group in your area.
Use essential oils for depression. To a warm bath or to 2 ½ T massage oil (such as grapeseed oil or almond oil) add 2 drops neroli, 2 drops petitgrain, and 2 drops orange oil. Enjoy a massage or soak for 10-15 minutes. These three oils come from three parts of the orange tree: the flowers, leaves and twigs, and the fruit. The wholeness of them when used together restores balance. Bergamot, jasmine, neroli or clary sage are also recommended for postpartum blues.**
Use essential oils for fatigue. To encourage deep rest – 3 drops of lavender, marjoram, or roman chamomile in a warm bath before rest. To create a sense of more energy: 2-3 drops of geranium or bergamot and 2-3 drops of rosemary to a morning bath or in a bowl of water or a fragrance burner to scent a room: 2-4 drops of any of the following: petitgrain, geranium, mandarin, rose, bergamot, ylang-ylang, lemon, lavender, or rosemary. Especially recommended is a combination of lemon and geranium.**
** Any time you are adding essential oils to water it is best to first add them to a small amount of milk, and then add the milk to the water. This helps the oils bind to the milk and prevents chemical skin irritation from direct contact with the strong oils.
QC Supermom 