Wednesday Wow: Entitlement: meeting their needs, but not all of their wants

A sense of entitlement may sound like:  “I Want It Now!”, “I don’t want any of that,”Is that all you have?” Buy me ___”.

Now, more than ever, entitlement — the idea that “I should get everything I want when I want it, even if I haven’t worked for it” — is rearing its ugly head. And I understand that.  On the one hand, you want to provide your child with every advantage. On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when you do that, you’re feeding an incredibly unhealthy characteristic in our culture. From the best milk (breast feeding) to other inalienable rights (a phone for texting, iPod touches, Facebook) 

One day I came home to a bathroom with a hill of tissue off the roll, laundry on the floor, clothes sitting in the washing machine, beds not made up,cereal boxes open up on the table, dead skin and dirt ring in the tub my boys learning system in the play area! I couldn’t do a thing but turn around a walk right back out the door. I had been gone just 4 hours and came back to the biggest mess ever. I not only need to clean my house needed a plan!

So that’s what I did, I started to really clean house. It made no sense to do all of the housework, cooking, cleaning, repairing, driving, shopping, etc,. while the kids do very little. I was on the path to running myself down and teaching them it was ok, which it really wasn’t. 

Selfishness is rampant, but can be corrected!

My husband and I created and shared guidelines based on each child’s ability and held them resolutely accountable for their behaviors. When we promise to do something we do it. Empty promises are bad. Our strategy is giving them so many organic opportunities of empowerment and love that they are always looking for ways to be better individuals with continuous support .

Anything they can do, they will do. My children help cook, clean and volunteer, and they do it with pride. They have been taught how and is given everything they need to be successful in their task. Just like in our home school setting. The scary part isn’t them failing; it’s not equipping them how to get back up and keep it moving.

If you don’t remember anything else, remember this- You are NOT their friend. If they don’t get pissed off at you every once in a while, you may want to slide a video camera in your house to see what things need to be tighten up.

Disclaimer: I am not a monster- I’m not saying it’s not a good thing to give to your children. I believe that the way you give to them can either help them develop a sense of ownership by earning things, or nurture a sense of false entitlement

Often in assisting them, a parent dulls the character, integrity, work ethic, and socialization skills

their children need to become responsible adults

More Resources: 5 ways to fight entitlement in our kids

My 14 year old is an entrepreneur.

 

    Click here for a physiological point of view

here’s another good posting- click here!

Yet another one on transforming them- Click here.

Last but not least, FREE STRATEGIES FOR PARENTS!

Memorial Day meets Birthday Celebration at the Hungington Beach State Park

Can you name 7 different types of berries? 

That was the billboard we read in Johnsonville, SC as we were on our way to  Pawleys Island Monday!

The billboard asked  and I answered: Blue, black, rasp, straw, boysen, goosberry, and mullberry- POW!

What I didn’t tell you is that it took myself AND my two teen daughters to get them all! But we did it, some 45 minutes later. It got us thinking about other fruits and veggies. God is SO AMAZING to have created such a variety of yummy handful treats. We wanted to learn about more, so we continued our search. wanna see what we found?  (Click here!) then click here also-it’s a Food Challenge!

This Memorial Day could easy be one of the best family vacations yet!

When my oldest two were very young I NEVER traveled far with them. Because I nursed, my husband worked full time AND they were both in diapers it just wasn’t worth it. I just invited family and friend over to my house. Since my children always came in sets, I always had at least two on my hips and at any given time.

This year my two older daughters and husband chipped in to make it a great mini vacation. We went to Huntington Beach State Park to celebrate my veteran husband and new 13 & 14 year old girls. We had a great time!

My husband and 1/3 of our children testing out the water before we jump in.

The 6 and 4 year old kept themselves occupied even though they were watched the entire time, and of course the 13 and 14 year old girls were self managed.

Tehun sat down in started talking with other beach visitors. They had to remind him to get his shoes.

Everyone chipped in an watched Tehun, the 2 year old. I sat with Noah at the end of the ocean and watched his reaction to each  incoming wave till he fell fast asleep in my arms.I was so grateful for the opportunity to watching my children enjoy themselves. I wondered if I miss this opportunity with my 19 and 20 year old kids.

My message to any mom that’s overwhelmed with their lil one: This too shall pass. Your babies will be big in no time. Take a big breath and enjoy them now. Go ahead and ask for help.You’ll wish for those days later for sure.

These girls were digging a tunnel to the Pavilion on Myrtle Beach… Just kidding.

As a treat, we had Salt water taffy!       Life is good!

Friday Four: LookAThat Body- I work out!

The girls and I are offical! We a respectible cards holding members of the YMCA. I don’t know who is more proud today. Myself, the girls or the staff for seeing us again some 5 years later. Getting those cards in our hands was hands down one of the greatest moments in our family.  Here are the four reasons why I am happy to reconnect with the gym.

1. Going to the gym will offer the girls free, yet constuctive time away from me. We do believe in giving ring pass nots.  A little freedom goes a long way.

2. They will learn another way to destress and relax outside of yelling and pouting. Now, if I can just get them off those devices and focus……

3. We will get our bodies stronger, healthier and more fit together.Keyword: TOGETHER

 

 

4. It was so affordable! We got a family package. With that, we are paying just $40 for 8 of us. Most gyms have a discount offer for income sesitive applicants. Ask for it!

Till the next

Gullah Island or BUST!

Family Vacation Time is Here!!!!

Yup! It’s that time of year again. The kids are home from college the home schooled is out for a few days and everyone wants to Go-Go-Go!

What’s a mom to do? I say PULL BACK!  I have wanted to go to Gullah Island for such a long time and now is the perfect time to go. Most of the children are old enough to enjoy a understand the value of going.

If you have ever heard someone from that area of Charleston, Hilton Head, Georgetown and even Fripp Island speak, you hear a accent. It’s what I expect to hear when we visit – the Gullahs/Geehees……

The Gullah are the descendants of slaves who live in the Lowcountry region of South Carolina and Georgia, which includes both the coastal plain and the Sea Islands.

Historically, the Gullah region extended from the Cape Fear area on the coast of North Carolina south to the vicinity of Jacksonville on the coast ofFlorida; but today the Gullah area is confined to the South Carolina and Georgia Lowcountry. The Gullah people and their language are also called Geechee, which some scholars speculate is related to the Ogeechee River near Savannah, Georgia. The term “Geechee” is an emic term used by speakers  “Gullah” is a term that was originally used to designate the language spoken by Gullah and Geechee people, but over time it has become a way for speakers to formally identify both their language and themselves as a distinctive group of people. The Georgia communities further identify themselves as either “Saltwater Geechee” or “Freshwater Geechee” depending on their proximity to the coast.

The Gullah have preserved much of their African linguistic and cultural heritage. They speak an English-based creole language containing many African loanwords and significant influences from African languages in grammar and sentence structure. Properly referred to as “Sea Island Creole,” the Gullah language is related to Jamaican Patois, Barbadian Dialect, Bahamian Dialect, Belizean Creole and the Krio language of Sierra Leone inWest Africa. Gullah storytelling, cuisine, music, folk beliefs, crafts, farming and fishing traditions all exhibit strong influences from West and Central African cultures.

I maybe dating myself when I talk about the Gullah Gullah Island show-But i LOVED it! 

The show stars Ron Daise and Natalie Daise as “Ron” and “Natalie,” along with their fictional children Shaina and James, niece (Vanessa), non-fictional children Simeon and Sara and fictional tadpole, Binyah Binyah Polliwog. The family lived on an island off the coast of South Carolina. (with outdoor shots featuring Beaufort, South Carolina and Fripp Island.) The show was taped and recorded at Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando. Episodes featured singing, dancing, learning and encouraging children in the audience to think about things like healthy eating, telling the truth, and problem solving.

Just think, I grew up in South Carolina, but have never been there. I have even attended college in Charleston, SC (Johnson and Wales University) but never made it there. Gullah Island is known for                       This year, we’ll share this culture with our children. 

By the time we are done touring the island, the kids are gonna think they were born and raised there. Why? Because it’s their past and it’s very true that one should know there past in our to navigate into the future well.

So what are we doing this summer? Culture & education-  I was given, a web page to use. Actually two. I hope they give us the real life times and experiences of Gullah Island.

Till the next lesson,

QC Supermom 

Wednesday Wow-Dear George, why?

(I previously published this but pulled it becuase the subject title was too strong. My sister called it “Wrong timing” with out reading it. Because I think this is a topic that is not addressed as much as it should be. I’ve changed the title. But the info is the same. So without any further delay, read it & let’s talk about it. )

I am so sad as I write this. I’m in such a place of disbelief.

As an adult you become somewhat numb to life events but what,better yet how are you suppose to react to the death of a dead beat father? How to you tell your child that the guy that gave your mom the sperm to help create you has transitioned?  Well, guess who has that honor of sharing the crappy news today?

My 1st child’s father.  R.I.P. 5/19/13

 

In my mind the two of them would get to a point where they would create a desirable relationship beyond ” Hello, what’s up and I heard that_____. or guess what, you have another sibling.”  As a young mom I told myself that I would prove to him that he made a mistake in not getting to know his son. He told me that he and his father had a awful relationship, I really hoped that he and my sons would be better. In spite of the money, our son would benefit greater from getting to know him. I did it. Thanks to my dad, his coaches, and my husband, so far he is doing well, but to tell you the truth, I have never felt so simple in my life. There was no point in thinking that way. I would rather he be alive and watch it for himself without any underlying agenda to throw it in his face. Because he wasn’t a mean guy. Just missing in action. Well, no need in delaying the inevitable, time to tell my son the news. Talk to you later.

You made me laugh.

We got pregnant,

then you

You made me cry,

because you walked away.

I laughed when he was born.

Laughed even louder after his succesful second year of college.

I smiled when he said the two of you talked yesterday.

Today, I cry when I heard that you died last night.

RIP- George

Thank you for my son,

Your 2nd baby mama, Kelle  

Absent dads, it is time to step up and be a active dad. Call your children and tell them sorry for being missing in action. Then actually stay around and be a positive force in their life. No one is promised tomorrow. -QC Supermom

Friday Four: Rewards Of Being A Fit Mom

Roger saying his vows to me….

It just clicked! When he met me, I was thinner and loaded with energy! Recently, I’ve found myself looking at my husband worrying if he still finds me desireable. He’s too smart to say anything other than “I love you forever baby”! I have to get and stay fit quick! When my husband and I met some 15 years ago, I was a nice size 16. Silly me, I thought I was fat them, anyhoots years later, I’ve sorta got diverted by just a bit. I remember those wonderful mornings when my day began with a 5:30am run to the gym. I had a serious dopamine and endorphins addiction! It just set my day in the right motion. Let me tell you about why I must get my “Sexy Fit Mama Back!”

Here’s four reasons why:

 

My goal is 50lbs. Help KEEP ME accountable.

1. It improves your IQ: Firstly being fit can improve your IQ. Because of the cardiovascular fitness and increased oxygen getting to your brain, as well as using more of your brain for your movement and coordination (the motor cortex) and the increase of certain hormones released in your brain including dopamine and neurotransmitters. Homeschooling has never been so productive.
2. It improves my confidence. I had better, healthier skin, and better hair. I even looked for opportunities to tell others why they should workout.  This new assest poured over to my children.

I was told that muscles are easy to develop. It is the DIET that is difficult. And that’s what is necessary to see the abs.

3. It improved my sex drive: I had my four sons right after I lost 60 lbs back in 2005. Dressing up my lean curves was very empowering. I was happy for both myself and my husband.

4. It slows down the effects of ageing: Not only did I get more sleep (a true asset for any busy mom like me) an boost to my immune system and energy level. I also enjoyed the fequent “Oh, my you look so young!” That reversal of aging allowed my body to renew skin cells,and rejuvenate my other organs naturally. Not bad huh?

Well till the next lap,

QC Supermom

 

Can I get an AMEN. Seriously-why does this happen

Wednesday WoW- Secrets to a successful summer camp at home Part 2

If you’re new here, please take a moment give me a follow on Facebook and Twitter!

 

So here’s how to host your Own Summer Camp at home. It’s easier than you think. Just think, what would you most like you children to get out of summer camp – reading practice, self-confidence, social skills, a new skill?  This alternative experience at home will require you to do quite a lot of planning:  activities, materials for crafts and games, snacks and meals, etc, but you’ll save so much money if you have more than 2 kids at home as I do. 

That’s my 2 year old Tehun at Reedy Creek Nature Center.

 

Create a Schedule
Depending on you and your family’s personality, this can be as structured or as flexible as you choose.

The more campers you recruit, outside of your home the more free days you’ll have, but you also need to consider how many kids you can handle. Let’s say you ran camp for a week, with five parents taking one day each.The sky is the limit think of savings on childcare!

Research Activities Think fun, educational and affordable-  they are out there, just look for them.

Gather Materials
• This is where it could get costly so think Dollar Store or thrift store. Start by looking around the house for materials that you can use. Create a list of supplies that you might need and begin to collect them now. You maybe able to borrow from the library or friends.
• Keep your materials in one convenient location that you can pull out for camp and put away when camp is done. Designate a tub or rolling cart for summer camp.

Now go! The kids are waiting! Pack their lunch before you head out. Use gas station rewards for gas, ensure that your emergency kit is well stock and have at it.
.

1. Cover your sidewalk with chalk art.
2. Sell lemonade from your homemade lemonade stand.
3. Make jewelry out of noodles.
4. Finger paint with fruit, oatmeal and water
5. Acquire articles of clothing and accessories to fill a costume box.
6. Plant a garden.
7. Go to museum free days.
8.  Do a physical activity (can be individual or do it as a group – ride bikes or scooters, play tag, go for a walk, play at the playground, jump rope, shoot hoops)
9. Hike with your family.
10. Visit the parks.
11. Learn a new word a day.
12. Create a scavenger hunt.
13. Make and cook in a solar oven.
14. Visit a nursing home.
15. Mow lawns (neighbors or your own – for free or a fee).
16. Wash cars (see 18).
17. Make and blow bubbles.
18. Play in the mud.
19. Make a pair of flip flops
20. Publish a book.
21. Visit libraries. They have free programs for kids.
22. Go to free concerts.
23. Make ice cream or bread.
24. Go jump and play all day at Monkey Joes! (My children LOVES that place!)
25. Give yourselves homemade fruit/ veggie based facials.
26. Go to free movie screenings.(use that link, I know this business personally.)
27. Visit your local farmers’ market.
28. Swim in your public pool.
29. Make sand castles at the beach.
30. Plant a garden.
31. Write, direct and perform a play in your living room.
32. Learn to properly put air in your tires and other basic car routines.
33. Learn to sew
34. Make a pretend grocery store.
35. Buy electronics at yard sales and then take them apart
36. Make something and then sell it.
37. Organize a block party and meet your neighbors.
38. Teach your kids cursive
39. Watch free rehearsals of your local orchestra.
40. Learn how to paint, hammer a nail. Sure you may not want to later, but it’s good to how how it’s done.
41. Attend a Home Depot free kids workshops.
42. Go to and/or organize a swap.
43. Learn how to do your own hair.
44. Take advantage of free bowling for kids.
45. Plan a family fun night.
46. Make a video of your kids interviewing you about your life.
47. Plant a tree that you will take an annual family picture in front of.
48. Learn to say “thank you” in at least 10 languages
49. Visit the oldest house in your town.
50. Go outdoors and play street games from way back when, etc, hopscotch, double dutch, ect.
51. Host a slumber party.
52. Visit your chamber of commerce.
53. Learn how to make a simple tent, then go camping
54. Tour a factory.
55. Visit an artist studio.
56. Watch a tree specialist cut down a tree.
57. Volunteer at a local non profit center.
58. Create a pretend budget and try to stay in it using an allotted smarties.
59. Get a large cardboard box from an appliance store and let your imagination run wild.
60. Learn about another culture.
61. Go star gazing.
62. Make compost and use it in your garden.
63. Have a tea party, dress up.
64. Make scrapbook pages for each year or decade of your life.
65. Write to your favorite hero and thank them.
66. Have a cooking class with the children.
67. Make cookies and take them to your local fire fighters or nursing home.
68. Make and fly a kite.
69. Take a picture each day and make a summer photo album. If the children are old enough, have them write about what happened that day.
70. Go to a movie in the park or your back yard.

One of my friends said:   

Our days are slightly different but same idea: Music Monday (music learning & appreciation), Tell-Tales Tuesday (literary activity), Who-What-When-Where-Why-How Wednesday (science & discovery – like your wonder list research day), Thankful Thursday (where we do intentional acts of service), & Fun Time Friday (adventures & outings w/ family & friends) I’ve also heard of & like the idea of “Friends-day Wednesday!” cuz it rhymes!

Now, if you feel like taking on a larger project, try these tips. It tells you how to run a community camp and how to attract sponsors.  

Do you have some favorite activities you would like to add?

Secrets to financing your child’s summer part1

School summer break coming! Are you ready?

Your children will begin the count down soon. Don’t let them catch you sweating! You have about 6 more weeks till the pressure is on to keep them fed, happy and occupied. Like my mama always said, ” An idle mind is a devils workshop.”  

Pack your lunch in the morning for food savings!

My children also participates in quality summer learning programs. Why? Because it’s their opportunity to learn something new while meeting more kids their age in a controlled environment. It also gives me a little break to catch up on my work.

It’s all about balance and strategy ya’ll.

So, what happens when the good camps are all filled up or out of your price range? Do you go back to your child’s school & ask for referrals or do you tell the kids we’ll pull something together for next year? I say organize one yourself! Yes, I said it! You can host a wonderful summer without annihilating your family budget. All you need is gas money and the internet.

There is no better, more fun way to learn about economics than with a lemonade stand!

Let’s Go!

Never underestimate the power of thinking outside of the box! It’s amazing how many opportunities are missed because of limitations placed on oneself. Here in my city, there are numerous things to do for free.

If you are trying to figure out how or what to feed your child over the break, you have loads of options there too. We garden every spring to help cover the cost of our summer produce. We also prepare our lunch at home before going out for the day, join  food co-ops and enjoy potluck dinners with other moms from my stay at home moms group.

That’s my 2 year old Tehun at Reedy Creek Nature Center.

You can do it! I’ll share details in Wednesday Wow’s post!Till the next break, Take Care.

QC Supermom

(I promised Eaim, to share this with you, enjoy)

Eaim: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?

Me: Sure!  Eaim: I fell in the mud.

Friday Four: Mother’s Day is coming, thanks Anna Jarvis!

                                                     Mother = LOVE

Have you ever wondered where  Mother’s Day originated? I did, so I did a little research. The tradition of celebrating mothers and motherhood has been around for quite awhile. Though beliefs about motherhood have varied widely, many cultures have marked entry into motherhood with ceremonies or have held annual festivals to honor mothers. 

The earliest tributes to mothers date back to the annual spring festival the Greeks dedicated to Rhea, the mother of many deities, and to the offerings ancient Romans made to their Great Mother of Gods, Cybele. Christians celebrated this festival on the fourth Sunday in Lent in honor of Mary, mother of Christ. In England this holiday was expanded to include all mothers and was called Mothering Sunday.

Although there were other notable Mother’s Day efforts in the United States beforehand, the official holiday was forged from the efforts of West Virginia native Anna Jarvis. Anna was the daughter of Ann Jarvis, an activist and social worker who worked to create more sanitary communities. Following her mother’s death in 1905, Anna formulated the concept of Mother’s Day as a holiday to honor all American mothers and their contributions to their children and their country.

In May of 1908, Jarvis organized the first Mother’s Day celebration at a church in West Virginia, and shortly after, coordinated a huge letter writing campaign to publications and politicians as part of a PR campaign to build support for a nationwide holiday honoring mothers. After three years of hard work and persistence, Mother’s Day was celebrated in almost every American state, and finally, on May 8, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson signed a resolution that designated the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.

Of course it did not take long for florists and retailers to commercialize the holiday. Interestingly enough, only a few years after the establishment of Mother’s Day, Jarvis began to feel disgusted by the companies who were exploiting the holiday to turn a profit. By the time she died in 1948, Jarvis admitted she regretted fighting for the holiday altogether. Today it’s one of the biggest money holidays ever. We try not to get caught up in the madness of the day, but QC Supermom does enjoy a day service. YOU JUST CANT BEAT SERVICE! I do not want any candy, roses, store made cards or gifts? I am so happy that all of my living children are healthy,peaceful in the mind and love each other? I can’t get that from any store.

My Mother’s Day thoughts:

1. I had the best mom ever! She taught me lessons even in here absence.She taught me the honor in being a real mom. My mom was the most selfless person I’ve ever known. She would give anyone the shirt off her back so they would be comfortable. As a child I always thought that she was doing too much. But today, I understand it was all a lesson in which I try to apply.

What am I to say after a statement such as this?

2. I will admit, I don’t see myself getting inked any time soon, but it was a nice surprise to see my son honor me in such a way. He got my name on his arm! It sits inside of a crown. (how fitting for a Supermom from the Queen City)

Goddess Isis – Early Egyptian Roots

3. Win a Pamper Day for mom! It’s a fun little contest from me to you all. This is a small contest. Body wrapping, Facial, Hair Style and healthy yummies   Entries will be limited to North Carolina only. (But I would LOVE to hear it all)Tell me the best advice you’ve ever received from your mom. Winner will be selected on MONDAY!

4. Children love being a part of greatness. I found this activity and had to share them. They are so cute!

I Love My Mom worksheet.

 

Wednesday Wow: Picking up our son from college summer ‘2013

This Mother’s Day will be extra special! My gift came early. We picked it* up yesterday from Hampton Virginia. It was so huge, I had to make space in the entire back half of our mini van. It* is so precious, so incredible and so in-demand!

He’s a sophomore at Hampton University

My number 4 son helping my number 1 get everything packed for home!

It’s my 20 year old son Keithric Jervon Kelly Pressley! Yes, I used every single one of his names. I missed him so and look forward to breaks and vacations from college to have him here with me. (So sue me. I told ya’ll a long time ago, that I was an helicopter mom)

Yes, we cleaned up for the next student! Doesn’t everyone?

I have to come clean. As if you can’t tell, I’m also a doting mom. I’m so proud of him. He has made so many grown up decision and moves this year and have done them all on his own. At times I felt that he should have ran these options by me, his dad, aunts previous coaches  or grandfather, but he didn’t. So far, so good. He finished the year with great grades, looking healthy, and of a peaceful spirit! You can’t ask for anything more. I’m so grateful. 

Here’s my message to those moms thinking bout throwing in the towel with their son. Children are tend to live up to what you believe of them. This boy of mine wasn’t completely terrible. Yet, he gave me plenty of practice on raising his younger four brothers. In middle school I didn’t know what to do with him. I felt that he was  ruined. To me his priorities were out of order and he considered himself above reproach. My husband and I tried EVERYTHING! From enrolling him in a Scared Straight program to changing his diet, to having him volunteer his time to serve the less fortunate. We even used radical strategies that resulted in making other family members raise their eyebrows. But it worked, He is worth it. So right now, if “Lil Jean” driving you bonkers, just find options and use them as needed. Don’t give up on your child. The minute you do, hopelessness steps in and awful things happen. Anything worth having requires work, and if you can put massive energy in the things you truly like, why not put that same energy in your flesh & blood? LOVE Your CHILD to GREATNESS!

My mother’s Day is looking fantastic. Not for the gifts they’ll surly bring, or the hugs I receive, but for the fact that my son is finally getting it. ……Oh yeah, him grabbing the wheel for the long ride home was a treat too! Aaaah, the perks of having a child old enoughto drive. Till the next break, take care! QC Supermom