A sense of entitlement may sound like: “I Want It Now!”, “I don’t want any of that,”Is that all you have?” Buy me ___”.
Now, more than ever, entitlement — the idea that “I should get everything I want when I want it, even if I haven’t worked for it” — is rearing its ugly head. And I understand that. On the one hand, you want to provide your child with every advantage. On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when you do that, you’re feeding an incredibly unhealthy characteristic in our culture. From the best milk (breast feeding) to other inalienable rights (a phone for texting, iPod touches, Facebook)
One day I came home to a bathroom with a hill of tissue off the roll, laundry on the floor, clothes sitting in the washing machine, beds not made up,cereal boxes open up on the table, dead skin and dirt ring in the tub my boys learning system in the play area! I couldn’t do a thing but turn around a walk right back out the door. I had been gone just 4 hours and came back to the biggest mess ever. I not only need to clean my house needed a plan!
So that’s what I did, I started to really clean house. It made no sense to do all of the housework, cooking, cleaning, repairing, driving, shopping, etc,. while the kids do very little. I was on the path to running myself down and teaching them it was ok, which it really wasn’t.
Selfishness is rampant, but can be corrected!
My husband and I created and shared guidelines based on each child’s ability and held them resolutely accountable for their behaviors. When we promise to do something we do it. Empty promises are bad. Our strategy is giving them so many organic opportunities of empowerment and love that they are always looking for ways to be better individuals with continuous support .
Anything they can do, they will do. My children help cook, clean and volunteer, and they do it with pride. They have been taught how and is given everything they need to be successful in their task. Just like in our home school setting. The scary part isn’t them failing; it’s not equipping them how to get back up and keep it moving.
If you don’t remember anything else, remember this- You are NOT their friend. If they don’t get pissed off at you every once in a while, you may want to slide a video camera in your house to see what things need to be tighten up.
Disclaimer: I am not a monster- I’m not saying it’s not a good thing to give to your children. I believe that the way you give to them can either help them develop a sense of ownership by earning things, or nurture a sense of false entitlement
Often in assisting them, a parent dulls the character, integrity, work ethic, and socialization skills
their children need to become responsible adults
More Resources: 5 ways to fight entitlement in our kids
Click here for a physiological point of view
here’s another good posting- click here!
Yet another one on transforming them- Click here.
Last but not least, FREE STRATEGIES FOR PARENTS!